SHACK 122 PRAISE

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Sitting in quietness and sometimes just ruminating a fantasy or a daydream may come upon me.  I get so caught up in its net that I am fascinated and it seems so real, the emotions, the passion and sometimes I feel as though I am squeezing my head, my brain to get the last ounce of energy to fire it up to maximum enhancement. I t can  be more tiring and exhausting than a physical workout.

Then I snap out of it. I realize this is not reality or is it?  It seems the brain does not recognize what is real in its screen of mind or the actual physical event.  It is like the TV, whatever is on the TV is impartial and just plays it, the person with the remote control decides.

So could it be the ego which I feel is the sum total of life up to the point of the years one is, and has a collection, a library of experiences and is a self contained personality of a private world and is indeed a kind of person inhabiting the mind and body, a sort of take over to a personal local enclosed being.  A sort of ghost in the machine.

This invading being sets up standards, ethics, morals, behavior patterns and especially attack and defense strategies. The most important role or facet it has, is a self monitoring loop which is constantly lurking to see the perimeter fences are all in tact, the silent sentinel.

Should one breech the walls, then a punishment will be metered out, the most common is sabotage. In my early years and no fault of my family, especially my dear Mother I was told 'never expect anything good, but when it does its a bonus' and always 'there is a curse on this family' and when I came in late 'do you know what this does to me, its like another stone on my grave'.

So I never could enjoy a day out with my mates, there was watching the clock, a silent nagging, really saying 'I don't want to be responsible for killing my Mother and being at her grave'. I saw many a person with similar experiences in my clinician days.

However, if I did  manage to let go (this is where Meditation and the Japanese and Chinese arts came in) and my ego then got disappointed and silently said  'its like a feeling that suggests words, a silent whisper that compacts thousands of words in a flash, not to be taken as inspiration, this is an ego trick, what is inspiration or the ego imitation, I digress, it says -----'you are not allowed to be free of the silent dread, so your punishment is to be back in the dread and things will go wrong, a health problem, a relationship breakdown, bad luck, I 'm always unlucky, I never win anything, I let my habits down therefore I don't deserve happiness or fulfillment'.

When one follows a fantasy, a daydream, a sleep dream, or a so called physical outplay of the ego legacy' then I have noticed and become aware of an ego reward------a satisfaction or self praise----a sort of self recommendation of praise, although it is merely self generated from within the ego's repository of rules and regulations, its legal team.  This delights the ego and wants and desires more, much more, sometime insatiably even to its own downfall.

So what is it that snaps one out of reverie and hallucination and awakes the brain from its idling, as if the TV could monitor and become the viewer with the remote control, but that would be self serving again.

It takes something impersonal, non local, vast and highly aware indeed a super Intelligence and that is consciousness which is a razor sharp Mind, clear and focused which is not of body or brain but knows the TV and all is but a temporary, transient expediency and when The TV knows this it surrenders its own agenda to the Greater Being.  

The one may ask or inquire----what then is reality?

If the ego isn't what is?

SHACK
Grow like a tree---sways by the wind----makes the roots strong----gets rain drenched-------slacks the thirst-----snow-----gives the branches exercise-----human pruning and earth husbandry-----love-----who planted me and gave me life------the great mystery. (Shack)