SHACK 4000 MAJESTIC

Laboratory Geome

I sat just thoughtless and as I sat my body just collapsed into a relaxed rest, the collapse was not traumatic it was like an unfolding and melting into a smile and quiet joy.

I felt the trees I was looking at were still, quiet, and my garden, just stillness even though there were birds and squirrels. I felt I was immersed in an invisible field of energy, I say energy for there is no other word to describe the feel of it. I was aware of a feeling of a subtle movement,  to say movement would in no way do it justice, it was like a stream of something gently pulsing through my body which seemed to feel not solid and yet was in a sort of way, I felt this was life expressing Itself through me and in this stream Life was living Itself through me and informing the constituent parts of my flesh cocoon as to what is necessary for its growth and well being and that same energetic pulse feeding the garden, the Universe and beyond any comprehension as to a logical conclusion.

I felt immersed in a seamless awareness, a never ending tranquil expanding lake to a sea of eternity and infinite dimensions, dimensions not separate but blending into spacious awareness, flowing and yet still.

I understood yet again when the jolt and shift of the Koan way back which threw my mind out of kilter and yet brought it to alignment not of the 'norm' and as I have described so many times by Sensei who gave the Koan when throwing my Judoka partner in seoi-nage (shoulder throw)and its ensuing agony until 'I KNEW' and Sensei's remark what a shame it happened so young and in England. 'Now your troubles begin, you will never see the world as others do'. At the time of the Koan by Sensei I did not remember the words it was sometime later that I did and the process began. I have mentioned what the Koan was elsewhere, however I will not repeat it here in case one may try and do the logical, intellectual bit on it, should you discover it my articles then perhaps it is for you.

This time I understood it intuitively and not the jolt and shift as before but as the underpinning of it growing all these years, like yeast and now the integration with life. The shift now has landed me back in life as it were, the troubles that Sensei alluded too were the discrepancy I felt about 'so called normal living' and the shift perception consciousness and coming out of electrician to forensics were part of the process of life I was in at the time.

So now I felt the majestic energetic flow of the stream of Life and I understood in myself that we are the conscious expression of Universe being conscious of Itself. 

I am conscious of of being self aware and that I exist and as such I was born out of Consciousness. Consciousness is awareness of Itself and out of Itself created all there is. A Universe that is Intelligently Conscious and alive, Consciousness is Life and Life is aware it is Life.

I felt the pulse of Life, the informing live energy that holds everything in an endless seamless spacious awareness and the mystery to human senses its seems invisible and yet truly  is alive.

SHACK       

SHACK 3099 MYSTERY OF HAZE

 

Rand Images

The haze of the mind, the foggy brain, the hope that when the haze clears and clarity is present then the clear empty brain, alert, bright and pristine is present.

The haze of the collective unconscious marred and smeared with particles of envy, negative news and grab whilst you can, morals forgotten, respect left far behind and all hope seems destined to crumble and failure.

And yet sayings like there is in 'every cloud there is a silver lining, hope springs eternal in the human breast' and so on, the vain pleading for better things, clinging to beliefs that never seem to be fulfilled these can be very depressing and 'push one down' and yet without the use of distractions, just sitting quietly, relaxing and surrendering to these oppressions and certainly not indulging in them or getting morose, one can just be there with them and suddenly with no explanation they suddenly lose their meaning as if they were only thought forms and they just vanished and the relief is felt and peace and joy and the bright  and the hazy experience has vanished into thin air. 

It is interesting that the feeling of being pushed down, depressed, morbid and so on refer to an entity being pushed down, who is this 'I' this 'Me' being submerged. It would seem that a collection of learnt, taught parental, cultural, ethnical repetitive and constant exposure to such phrases is taken aboard the mind and stored and becomes a sort rule book, a highway code to navigating the world and its affairs.

This constant repetition and drumming in the data becomes an automatic response and so takes over unconsciously and can be so insidious that it becomes normal to the experiencer and creates a haze, a sort of distortion from might be is. It is an automatic reaction which contradicts the 'holy grail, the supreme narrative' of the mind that imbibes the beliefs of the above.

This becomes ones norm and reality and so many layers so many hazy moments that block the light of awareness, what is unconscious in the haze of an inculcated and is unconscious because there is no awareness of the content, it is just spewed out without thought or being conscious of the content.  

Being conscious and aware without judgement and watching with interest, an interest without agenda does not automatically eradicate the reactive spontaneous if it is really spontaneous reactive process.  It merely shows one the contrast between reactive brain washed thought and then can point out at first touch as it were that the reactive process is a rebellion to that which challenges the stored inculcative material, the ego that is the collect reactive entity defends its narrative at all costs in many nefarious ways.

The awareness is consciousness at the primal 'level' and has its own intuitive feel and feels without reason that the ego process is not 'natural' and is not a reality as such, it is a reality based on brain washed someone else's ideas and agenda and it by watching without intention as to the results that gradually the processed thoughts like processed food feels like a false frequency and promotes intuitive understanding which is often illogical and against the grain.

SHACK    

SHACK 3098 MISTS OF TIME

Scotts Place

 The mist, nearly a fog, with a sense of the Sun faintly there, more a feeling, a presence felt but not actually there.

Through the mists of time, of Karma, slowly burning away the iniquities of time gone by, so much water under the bridge of human exploitation and the hope and prayers and salvation.

The glimpses of sunlight with pure joy and perhaps the journey of suffering may have been the rough file to smooth away the rough edges and perhaps humanity survives through the knowledge that all is well in the end -----if there ever is an end.

SHACK

SHACK 3097 SILENCE

Silence

 It was the morning of Thursday 28th September 2023 and I felt a great Silence, heavy and pregnant as if the world was imploding upon itself. The Full Moon was looming on the Friday the 29th September 2023 at around 9.57 am.

I could not shake a feeling of thousands of souls crying in the wilderness of despair and abandonment. The world news was desperate and the wars with attrition, the homeless, the starving, the abused with strange decisions by authority, weird and dangerous tinkering with DNA, genetics, sexual indecisions, something called woke and transhumanism, digital manipulations and AI and the shadow of robots, Androids and cyborgism. The overlords of capitalism, massive multinational companies who have no allegiance other than to themselves, their minions and the strange notions to enslave populations into servitude and ruthless abeyance.

This silence felt to drag one down into a whirlpool, like a blackhole devouring every galaxy and not suffering from indigestion or bloating and feasting on the misery of others. Its lust and dripping salivating licentious jaws seemingly never full or remorseful, churning its unending search for more and more and its ego so large round and devastating in its lust and power grab that it will consume everything in its sight and in the end consume itself into oblivion and extinction.  

It has a death wish, a suicidal shadow cutting out the light and deep down its is running from its own denial of its destiny if it continues in this course, yet knowing this is eventuality, still runs its process and knowing it will self destroy and plunder itself into to a path of wildness, reckless plunder and eventually causing its own demise.

However there is another side to this silent heavy swirling thick silence, a sort of slaughtered by the silence, should one have the courage to surrender quietly to the whirlpool and be aware and ride the centrifuge then the rushing spirals still exist and persist but there is the awareness to ride the tide so to speak and take a ride rather than be consumed by the rapid spiralling event and instead of dropping unceremoniously at the end of the blockhole in an explosion and be scattered all over the Universe in a non recognisable heap of random rubble, one is exuded into a modicum of balm and a feeling of peace and endurance.

SHACK        

SHACK 3096 EMPITINESS AGAIN

Mindboggling Power of an Empty Mind

I am emptiness, a void, space unfulfilled and why so? So that the Universe could fill it with Creative Spirit,

And lo, Voila c'est ici,  The Universe 

SHACK

SHACK 3095 EXPERIENCING self and SELF

Self Realisation Quote

I experience myself not as a physical flesh form, but as an experience with no name or form, I am aware of my awareness, and I am conscious of it.

I am the witness of my awareness which is without form, definition, or labels.

I am what I am, where I am and where I am has no location nor beginning nor end  or definition. 

I am the Eternal Infinite One temporarily residing in time and space and in form but not of it.

They are all in my mind, they are my creation.

SHACK

SHACK 3094 NOT OF

John 17

I am IT 

BUT

NOT OF IT  

SO WHO AM I?

SHACK

SHACK 3093 WITNESS

Annie Dillard

 I witness your creation as evidence of your Presence and Creator.

I witness myself as feeling alive, as I am alive I am conscious of my existence.

I am self aware which is Life and I testify you Great Spirit are Life and Life in Abundance now, past and future and are an Eternal Being.

SHACK

SHACK 3092 IMPERMANECY

Clarity Clinic

 DIFFERENT FORMS OF IMPERMANANCE 

           TRANSIENT FORMS OF PROMISE 

                                 THE PROMISE

                                                                      OF 

                                                                                                   PERMANCY

SHACK

SHACK 3091 MORE THAN TRANSPARENT

Hall Mirror by Franke

When I look in the mirror  I used to recognise the image as myself and many years back did exercises like staring into my own eyes and blessing myself and so on, then I went into a period of not looking at my whole body or face in mirrors as to not identify with a transient impermanent form and so not  to get attached and when the time comes for passing it would not be a difficult wrench to leave, hopefully not through trauma or disease.

When I am meditating, now it seems without the need for sitting, standing or laying down, the silences seem to be more natural and prolonged, there is a feel of of peace, relaxation and quiet and a naturally empty mind and without the 'mindfulness of a witness' just a natural quiet and emptiness and in that a natural lightness a glow with joy and tranquillity. 

It is as if my experience through my eyes and other human senses are looking through a clear glass, a window only bordered by my skull and eye arches, there seems to be a clear bright experience and I feel at one with the vista and laugh or smile when a bird, animal or the trees and their branches are rustled by the wind.

When I look in the mirror lately I cannot recognise this form as me. I see an image I recognise and yet do not recognise, it is as if my recognition is not a human memory but something has noted that and it is OK with it.

Then this feel of being in awareness and something arising in the space of awareness, if one could call it awareness space for it is beyond explanation as to quality, quantity and location and yet it exists or does it?  

In my early days of meditation I experienced thoughts as coming across my awareness from seemingly left to right like those news slides below the main features.  I think they are called 'news ticker tape' and then thoughts became loud and not audible to the ears, they were inner noise and one day year's back the noise stopped suddenly, spontaneously as if another conscious part of me realised their hollowness and infirmity, their lack of substance, their transient and illusionary nature.

Then thought became less frequent and because of that another entity or part of my mind seem to miss thought and then I began to realise the act of brain washing by constant repetition named inculcation, conditioning and programming, I wakened to the psychological understanding that I have written so much about 'we are someone else's ideas, we are mainly taught to be who we are, many of us have cloned minds, who are we when we are stripped of brain washing and have no identity and can we live with a bare mind, a naked consciousness but for a few basic living and survival programmes or do we go to Maha Samadhi and consciously die. See Maha SAMA. (SHACK 3089)

Now looking in the mirror there is a sort of disconnect; I feel intuitively this form is a impermanent transient an appearance in time and space and that time and space are only caused by the appearance of forms, without forms a blank universe, in my view no time and the blank forms there is no 'space'  for them to appear in.

It is if I stand on high cliff and the forms appear of their own volition perhaps they originate from the library of the conditioned mind named the ego, the collective of many incarnations in inculcations which have formed a Universal Collected Human Consciousness and the use of recycling by reincarnation in order to clear a back log of Karma or unfinished business and when clearing a lot of sell by date as it were data, the brain washed inheritance of many lives as many characters the underlying if one can call it that, the backdrop which is awareness which has it's own understanding as if it were a higher faculty than the logical psychological physical brain. 

Thoughts that arise from this space of the collective actually make the facility of the phenomena named 'mind' no thought 'no mind', no mind, no ego only pure awareness whatever that is.

So who am I---Geoff / Shack stop asking silly questions.

SHACK

SHACK 3090 ARE YOU

Giphy Giph

You know all that stuff about the empty atom and it really isn't empty and in the vacuum its all there and are somethings doing their thing and then scientist who are constantly upgrading like the string theory, the loop theory, the many worlds theory,  bootlace theory, Feynman, gell- man and so on, the two split experiment, Schrodinger's cat, the God Particle at CERN.

From Blog 2015  Higgs Bosun

Sharing on inculcation, conditioning, brainwashing and programming and all the many articles on the empty atom and no mind, no identity and in SHACK MAHA SAMA and the Buddhist monk in going into Mahasomadi I am proposing because this an idea passed down over centuries and all that meditation stuff from the East could even that 'holy tradition's'  be another programme and inculcation.

from Blog 2015

Maybe we thought ourselves into existence or were thought into existence or big  banged into existence and all this is a mind hack and death is another programme all the meditative experiences and conscious death is another programme 'handed down' by those who did their aesthetics and esoterica.

I think myself alive and live and I think myself ill and I think myself to die consciously as another brainwashed programme even though I think / feel as it it were it came intuitively from Source or the Creator consciousness or as natural consequence of evolution ah la the big bang theory.  

Hey Geoff wait a mo.; but I am self aware of myself, I am aware of my presence and aware of my awareness, perhaps this another inculcative programme?

Maybe its all a dream and yet there has to be some content to make a dream or does that have to be? Maybe it is from some other dimension and that also predisposes the same questions as above.

From Blog 2015 Thursday 5th February 2015
also in blog The Higgs Fake by Alexander Unzicker 

OYE VEY  and a kopveytik with Shpilkes. Sometimes Yiddish words express the meaning in the sound of their words rather than the meaning. Many Yiddish words appear in movies and have become and 'every day colloquialism'.

SHACK

From blog above 2015

all this to find something that is so small you cannot see it and its all in the mind maybe? Shack

SHACK 3089 THE MAHA SAMA

 

I was about to write about nirvikalpa, Mahasomadi, Jivan Mukti ( a free soul whilst in the body) and I came across this video by the Sad Guru and left it to him, I was also going to write about Satori, O Satori, Ko Satori and others and felt not do so. This is beyond words  and pollute the pure experience with an explanation and logic.

It is my wish to pass this way.

You'll know when it happens to you.

SHACK

SHACK 3088 LOVE PAIN

Emotive

The pain of love can be felt in several ways. I felt that when I fell in Love it was painful until I told my love about my love for her. When we got together the love was always simmering. 

When we parted, the pain seemed to sear and at times I could feel the loss of one side of my body as it were, where my love used to be in bed or when we were out.

Then I found I feel in love albeit briefly and wondered if the loss and did not want to feel the pain of another love lost and merely was frightened to commit. I went through some reasoning's; this love of the physical is seducing me and I let down my spiritual practices, I know all things end and impermanence is all in physical matters so why become so engrossed even besotted again, IF I get my emotional kicks and security from this love and person, I get my approval from her and become so attached that I am addicted and I lose some of my inner ability to find my own approval of myself, then am I shying away from natures reason to mate and love someone as I would love myself and many other reasonings?

Then through meditation and other life experiences I found that inner peace arising and that inner orgasm although not constantly but enough to sustain me between episodes of expanding sessions of deep meditative episodes.  

I then began to realise that the emotional highs of falling in love were mainly to please the ego; it is natural to fall in love,  I love the emotional feelings of love and then I have to have an object in order to get this feel, these emotions. A horror film, a touching dramatic love story video or news, a beautiful natural view, flowers and trees, a gorgeous naked or dressed female form, my erection, my masturbation, deep penetrative sex, even a fabulous meal and a monetary gain or loss, abundant day dreaming and fantasies the world of materialism in all its glamour and the promise of satisfaction and emotional highs and lows of Life. The Good Life and the American dream. The celebrity who falls or ends, the let down, the alcoholic when there is no liquor, the sexual predator who is jailed, the multi billionaire and sex fiend who preyed on youngsters when the object or emotional garbage is exposed and then they may not get their addictive source can go to self harm or suicide or deep depression. Some may ride the storm and come out in coping mechanisms that can ride out the rest of their lives.

Then for me not because of aging, the NDE, the Koan, the Empty Atom, all fuelled by deep insights of significant 'power and energy of a non physical nature and facilitated through a physical medium, the body 'the body as a portal and channel. The meditation at the back of it all, the awareness as witness to every emotional and meditative experience would present its own intuitive interpretation not in words but an instant knowing and recognition as if the brain was sidestepped and this was straight and direct understanding.   

From the Koan and the shift it caused somehow in consciousness or whatever a sort of 'dimming' of what was commonly accepted as the norm and the norm seemed to be shallow and mere veneer, the game of societal procedures, never got its full grip on me, I never felt  the full pain of love and yet suffered it and then the emotions seemed to give way to another another deeper emotion of bouts of serenity, deep bliss and contentment which came as grace and spasmodic meditative experience. 

I found emotions fading and compassion arising naturally without effort and an empathy for those chasing the 'norm' expectancy of the promised success of a material heaven or the dross of hopeless ambition thwarted by seemingly 'hard luck' or Gods got in for me. I saw them as my fading former self and wondered if I was living an ego pantomime of self deception yet the ever arising peace and contentment even through pain of physical disablement and diminishing fear and anxiety caused me to realise this was not self  deception but spiritual and evolution of my psyche to the soul.

SHACK

SHACK 3087 SHADE AND INFORMATION

Designer Shades

LOOK AT THE LIGHT

 

NOT

 

THE LAMPSHADE

 

What is there in life that causes blots on the shade and so diffuses 

Some of the light?

 

Huff Post Life

I KNOW THAT I DON'T KNOW

BUT

WHEN I NEED TO KNOW

I WILL KNOW 

SHACK 

SHACK 3086 FRIGHTENED

Ability India

 Frightened to go an a journey even when I know its destination, whereas in my youth I went most places and even some 'dodgy' ones. From my sad childhood and its illnesses it left me physically, mentally and emotionally compromised. The were two factors in this my NDE and my parents unhappy union. The joy and safety of the NDE and the harsh reality of the trepidation I had in the NDE that I had of begging not to come to Earth were worse that I felt in that NDE.

Now at 84 with the Covid experience along with the globalists agenda and the technology of eugenics, cyborgism, transhumanism and injury from the vaccine jab it is pressing my buttons so to speak.

I have tried affirmations, intension stuff, mantras, yantras and that but they seem to irritate me, it seems just plain siting, touching base that works best for me.  Even with food simple stuff and a few simple relabels seem to work best. I am now at this age happy at home with my own meditation, atmosphere and have lost that youthful trust in my abilities.  I am frightened and anxious to go on trains and simple journeys it somehow reminds me of the harsh Earth and the impermanence of everything and it seems so concrete and affirms my NDE.

Is the Divine experience only at home? I have to extend my Divine to everywhere as it were and when the human fear of my disability due to the vaccine injury and frail weakness and the embarrassment of failure and to remind myself not by a mantra or mental note but the feel of Spirit is everywhere.

I saw a documentary of the Shaolin Monks who were on a world tour with there amazing feats and one of them when the troop were meditating in St. Pauls Cathedral in London said after meditation 'you see the Buddha is everywhere' 

SHACK  

SHACK 3085 Acquaintance

Vector File

It was a hot July day and all the seats were taken but one, this was at my table, he said 'would you mind if I sat here? I replied ' your welcome please do'

After a while I realised he was a well known actor as people came up for his autograph (before selfies). We got talking and he became an acquaintance. He was guarded and tense we spoke about this and he told me his story.

He had a strict code of morality and he was in a faith which certainly backed up his beliefs and feelings. Any love or intimate scenes in films he would use a double as he felt madly sexual energies and towards his female co stars. He blamed them for his mounting passions and although some of his leading ladies would have gladly have accommodated his needs. He felt masturbation 'wasted Gods Sperm' and felt guilty that he sort of blamed God for creating the female form. No matter how many times he went and confessed, it only it made worse, so he went to the Gym and did other extreme physical exertions in order to dissipate the tension and sexual urge.     

The guilt he suffered was immense and he blamed women for making him feel this way and said they were the devils invention to tempt men to sin. He asked  me what I felt or thought about this? Since he was not a patient or wanted to attend any sort of therapy or counselling and he did not know I was a forensic and psychotherapist (I decided to be a therapist and not charge for counselling as well as I had seen the horrors of forensic and domestic abuse, I had to declare both to the Police and therapy authorities and had clear line of protocol).

I replied; well if you blame someone or a situation this makes you feel a response, and emotion of some sort and makes one feel uncomfortable or getting off on it in some form or other, actually they have a power over one, like ' you make me feel' so you give them power so to speak and dominate you. However it is your beliefs and codes of ethics that make this so, it goes against your moral and religious ethics and so you feel guilty that you have succumbed to this and upset God into the bargain. As long as you say I blame you, you are the cause of my misery you lose your choice and give then an assumed power over you, your moral code makes the guilt.

He got this and saw the logic of it, next how do I reclaim my choice that my ethics hold over me. I could not go any further such as where did the ethics come from, brain washed and so on.

Well I said; who would you blame now from a logical point of view. He said, well I blame myself for being victim to my own making and now I shifted the blame on me and seem to have a power issue and by blaming them I have merely shifted 'their power over me to my power struggle with me'. I said well at least you are owning your own stuff and what you give away you have no control over however what you own to some degree you have some control and if you wish deal with it in anyway you feel appropriate.

He said well how do I deal with my own power thing with me, it seems worse in a way, I have no one to blame and at least with blaming I could shift some of the guilt on them, its not my fault as your female form is to blame, now that has somewhat lessened I now see its me agin me. I could not go further. I said you could get some therapy over this. He said to me well do you know of a therapist, I said I could recommend some one, he said would you befriend me, I said I cannot because I am a therapist. He stood up and threw his coffee over me and said you bastard.

He continued to walk past me when the odd times this occurred. A great friend of mine who knew both of us said he had asked her if she would approach me to be his therapist and he extended his apologies  to me through her, maybe I should have told him from the first time this came up. I am human as well. Anyway I said I would be open to a formal arrangement at the clinic. He agreed to an appointment. 

He did not arrive and he had a leading part in a 'gig' as a psychiatrist and this caused a serious breakdown and he was taken in a suicide attempt which the psychiatrist who attended him told me because I knew this doctor well and told him what I told the patient. He said I handled it well and this part in the 'gig' had triggered the guilt to the edge, the doctor said to me I feel you could have helped him a lot if he had arrived at the appointment.

The finale; the actor went to Israel and went to a high valley and he was convinced he could fly  'his words in a letter to the friend I mentioned above 'today I fly to God and ask why he made the female form to torment men'? He jumped and I don't whether God ever answered him?

SHACK

SHACK 3084 PRESENT

Life Style 

WHAT IS THERE, THERE

 

THAT IS

 

NOT HERE

 

GOING THERE

 

TO FIND HERE

 

SHACK

SHACK 3083 MAKE BELIVE

Dreams Galore
 

Do we actually exist or are we programmed , brain washed to think so? Only you can answer this and to be sure you are not conditioned at any sort of conclusion. Maddening isn't it?  Or is madness another form of delusion?  Yakerty yak, yak, yak, yak.

SHACK   

SHACK 3082 ABSOLUTE

Etsy

 

ONLY IN EMPTINESS

 

IS THERE

 

THE ABSOLUTE

 

IT IS ONLY WHEN THE

 

THE CHALICE OF EMPTINESS

 

IS FILLED

 

THAT TAINTING AND MARRING OCCUR

 

SHACK

SHACK 3081 RAZOR

 

Lovely Razor

Living on the edge. The edge of what? Perhaps the length of beliefs, falling off the bed of beliefs into not belief which is still a belief in not beliefs. 

So perhaps there is nothing to fall off of or into only the space vacated by your beliefs and because this space is empty there can be a chance for peace to fill it, the quiet of the absence of thought and true no mind, then there is no falling. arriving, going anywhere or nowhere, not doing and yet there is just being and just that being.

SHACK

Smart arse, so what is being then? Is that not a belief and some else' s idea, you would go and spoil it (SHACK)

SHACK 3080 NUTS

Crazy Emoji
 

What is madness?

 

Somebody’s else’s

 

Form of Logic and Norm

 

SHACK

SHACK 3079 MOTHER

CanStock 

Old Father Time

I wonder 

who

The mother is?

SHACK

SHACK 3078 TIME

Cute Time

They say I have time on my hands

 

Time seems to be between thoughts 

 

So have I any hands?

 

 

SHACK

  

SHACK 3077 PLACE?

                                                                                                                          County Durham
 

Nowhere seems a great place to be in psychological terms as it were, because of the nothingness of it.  One thing though being a nowhere and no one, can it be said to be a place or anything? hmmm

SHACK

In the nowhere place there is no community or anything so how come the notice board? (SHACK)

SHACK 3076 ARRIVING

God of the Nowhere Places

Seems such a waste of time and effort of time arriving at nowhere.

SHACK 

SHACK 3075 HURRY

                                                                                                                         Hurry Giffer

Rushing to be somewhere to find it is is the same as before, hoping to find in that somewhere a new find that will be life changing and maybe that the somewhere left was the the find one was looking for. 

SHACK 

SHACK 3074 THAT

                                                                          Bodhi Tree

The shock of realising 'I AM THAT'  for that I have been seeking. Then What?

SHACK

SHACK 3073 FREELANCE

Freelance advertiser

FREELANCE

 

NOTHING IN PARTICULAR

 

WHEN PARTICULAR ARRIVES

 

IT’S NO LONGER FREELANCE

 

SHACK 

SHACK 3072 RETENTION

 

Business Strategies

THE MORE HELD

 

THE

 

LESS FROM SOURCE

 

SHACK

SHACK 3071 GOD CALLING

Breath of Life Dailey

 From my early NDE, the Koan, the Empty atom and the many workshop presentations, forensics, relationships and dips into the shame of and yet the liberation in  prostitution, being exposed to the most darkest events in forensic and patient stories, devastating health matters, episodes of deep darkness and light, many many psychic, OBE's and meditative experiences there has been and have been these 'god calling episodes'.

For example this morning in August 2023 I went to bed very late after watching a really good TV drama and I select these as they are not only entertaining but but are really about the divisive issues going onto today. 

As I awoke I had this 'calling' a huge smile and deep relaxed body as I felt enveloped in a joy, peace and ecstasy, I have had bouts many, many times and yet they are short lived and usually the chattering mind, the distraction of a fantasy and yet the 'behind the scenes' longing for the peace that goes beyond human understanding.

I used to think or feel that could this be the real deal; I have had sexual intercourse many times, with girlfriends, my partner Gilly and with a prostitute when exploring sexual stuff, masturbation they all left me with a feelings of sometimes guilt because I was letting my moral and spiritual beliefs down, my ego inculcated jumbled up moral and political agendas. Yet after the NDE at such a young age, there was this beautiful experience and I certainly did not want to be Earth Bound or to live on Earth. Then to further this dilemma I had the shift through the Koan and then even more so with the 'Empty Atom' event.

I had this feeling at NDE as I was rising of joy, liberation, freedom, light and bliss, yes at the age of four in 1942. Then with the shift and koan this did  not produce those feelings last mentioned but a glimpse of another reality other than the inculcation at the time of living, it offered other choices or no choice but emancipation around about this time I was working as apprentice electrician, teaching martial arts and having a trial as pro soccer player and my family busting up and looking after a sick Mother. However I got distracted by so many things and I understood why Sensei said after the Shift / Koan 'Its a shame you are not in Japan in a Monastery, you are so young for this in these conditions'.

I had at this time so many scrapes in life with relationships, money, health, situations and so on and also at the brink of disaster many a synchronicity, coincidences, chance meetings all sorts of miracles and this was that I was so 'busy' in the material world that meditation was at one time completely forgotten or spasmodic. Yet at the 'back of mind' I felt that something was going on, as if in my deep mind there was part of me meditating or a dim awareness of it. It was if my brainwashing had so much debris in it that it buried the awareness of Spirit.    

I never was a one for prayer and I really have not got much faith and yet how were the privileges or why were these saviour moments accorded to me? Arrogantly now I suppose it was because although I consciously in my mundane mind forgot the 'God Stuff' and have never liked and even shunned religious attendance causing rifts with family, friends and being called an atheist, agnostic and heathen.

Yet I had all through a love for enlightenment and this was for to attain that peace and joy of the NDE, the choice through another mind reality Koan and the material world losing its clawing reality through The Empty Atom. I was called lazy, unambitious, a wimp, a sloppy, dozy kid, feeble and so on. Yet I did 670 workshop presentations participated in numerous one to one's in healing and therapy sessions with patients while holding down a Forensics job. However in those workshop years over thirty six years this busy schedule took its toll, because the meditation was there at times and the succour of the spirit was not there, yes relaxation through breath work, Taiichi Qi gong was there but the deep peace and joy was not and yet I was aware somewhere in my psyche it was, I was too distracted to participate fully and commit myself too it, the pull, the magnetic glamour of the material world and scientific interests were a battle to steer me away, just like in the Ten Ox Herding scenarios 'I saw the Ox and had it by the tail and yet could not tame it and ride it and the return to the city' I was between a rock and a hard place.

Then two bouts and scares of cancer; members of family died of cancer and heart attacks and I faced this as a non smoker and a fairly decent diet and seemingly moderately fit, Lung cancer followed by Prostate Cancer at the end of 1999 and beginning 2000. With the lungs I was given three months to live as I refused all chemotherapy or drugs, I was by a synchronous coincidence to become aware of a Chinese Christian TCM practitioner and he shocked the medics and with the return to meditation and all work stopped and retirement from all workshops (although did some specialised  and healing work) and both cancers say the medics went into remission. I have written of the meditative and physical 'signs and experiences way back in articles) Since 2000 I have been faced with purely mind exploration and have the time to explore my inculcation and reach if possible the joy and calm that I sensed all through the years I wanted back to in a sense to 1942,1955,1977 and now today and this particular morning as above at beginning.

The mind chatter has been less and less as has the fantasy's and so on mainly through certain experience's in meditation and writing the SHACK articles of say the last year. Mind blowing to say the least. I have had many spontaneous grace experiences but this one was if it was silent calling and it 'said to me' in one of those micro mini infinite flashes, perhaps less than a micro second the following; I often wondered why I really loved my flat, which was another one of those dreaded events which turned out to be a 'God Sent' it was in the early days noisy through boiler house problems, neighbours far from friendly, GP problems and so on, it has turned out to be so far absolutely spot on, due to my disablement so to speak because of the vaccine jab, not Covid story in other articles and website www.geofffreed.com or Online, I am limited in mobility and I love being at home not just tired, or aching and I have never wanted much materialism, although the few times I was wealthy I really was not happy, this was cemented finally in the 'Empty Atom' and the 'Nowhere to Hang My Hat' and the articles based on 'No Identity and Inculcation' however I realised that my not wanting to travel as I had none so before, the grip of ego being dissembled I felt by this mornings experience that a commitment not rigid but consensual between ego and whatever one can assume and be sure is Spirit is OK and the fight by the ego to have such a tight grip on mind chatter, fantasy, fear, anxiety and being in harsh and demanding rituals in order to instil feelings of safety and some sort of reality could be eased and let the Spirit 'take over' and will bring peace to the ego and also allow the the witness within be Itself and the Soul Expression shine and that Peace that Passes All Human Understanding take it's place in the natural order of things'.

In some way like the cancers and loss of mobility are the markers of a new life expression and what the ego fears most which is loss becomes in some other way a gain. However it never ends and Life will undoubtedly throw up challenges which may at first glance seem hostile, threatening and daunting and when relaxed, letting go of ego grip, by just knowing something deep within may sort it out and if not 'that may the way of  things' who knows what life wishes to teach us if we are willing to learn?

SHACK