SHACK 3024 THE DRIVER

alamy

 

There was a knock, knock on the window, the driver rolled it down, a frantic man's bespectacled face appeared, sweating and he gasped ' are you the one', the driver was perplexed and said 'what do you mean? the man seemed more agitated and said ' are you the one'. the driver said 'I thought you were were the one'. The man ran away frenzied and clutching his head and wildly gesticulating. The driver sat in bewilderment staring vaguely into a space as if the world had just collapsed and there was an uncomfortably nothing, a void with no meaning or satisfaction.

The driver went home and this home was not comforting, the encounter with the bespectacled man left him with a familiar dilemma, he had been contemplating the meaning of life and had reached a sort of synopsis, 'I had no choice in my name, in fact I do like my name, yet I am gradually getting to kind of used to it and live with it, I had no choice in my culture, life style and so on, I could have been anyone else and in anyone else's religion, culture and so on, so I am hand me down, second hand, brain washed individual and so are many more.

So who am I without all this brain washed someone else's ideas instilled in me and until I questioned it and awakened to the possibility that I am a mind clone and the shock of this awakening reverberated in me being and made me uncomfortable and uneasy? The driver then searched for an identity; if I am not in any mind frame pattern, conditions or lifestyle and so on or have doubts about any beliefs what identity am I to assume, my name means nothing, my beliefs and so on seem meaningless because they are borrowed from someone else's philosophy, culture, guru, holy books, some academia and nothing fits, I realised that my beliefs, life styles and so on were so conditioned in me that I felt they were my reality, the only reality and I would defend that as it was my security. 

The driver felt hurt and offended if someone challenged his beliefs and culture or his achievements, he then realised hurt and pain were the feelings that defended his cherished beliefs and said reality and security, he must attack, defend or retreat in order to preserve this system and yet at the same time on this awakening they were but inculcated imported data and were not his or real in the sense of is, brain washing real or fake?  

The the driver was hit with; then the whole of this human existence from the beginning to now is built on hand me downs on stories and myths built to accommodate every new evolutionary epoch. Everything is built on a false premise, oh god what is there then that is the truth. Everything is fake, yes degrees, kings, queens and then the search for reality, if there was such a thing.

The driver then studied the great philosophers, the holy books, went to gurus, countless lectures and visited those who 'knew' and was let down, he was told the truth is within you, meditate, pray and he grew frustrated, his beliefs and fixations, his obsessions were so deep and they were habits, reactions, like a trained athlete, he knew this, observed this and could not break the habit, he was addicted to his deep brain washed edicts he was hooked, hook line and sinker and yet at the same time knowing this was not real and not really who is?

He looked for a guru, someone, somewhere, something that would save him, give him rest, he felt naked and had no comfort anywhere or in anyone, he searched, he found himself restless , no food, meditation, exercise or distraction satisfied him, he slept late not wanting to confront the world, he stretched and squirmed in bed screeching, causing cramp in his urge to rid himself of this paradox of knowing intellectually the truth about himself as fake brainwashed no original being and yet casting off the haunting inculcation that followed him like a never ending shadow and dark menace at the back of the mind, there is something hanging over me and even though I know this fake brainwashed me I still feel guilty if I break the commandments of this brainwashed set of beliefs and habits, the image in the unconscious as reactions, habits, rituals and self imposed identity and religion, this fake identity and the worlds ethos and determinations to live by these dictates and preserve the fake as real and the whole lot is deception and in denial so he stretched, squirmed like a snake shedding its skin, like the crab the carapace and hoping the new growth would be a balm, a salve an unction, the squirming and writhing being so hard at times that they caused cramps, the cramps were there as if to clamp and stop change and this happened unconsciously at times through something going on unconsciously in sleep as if this was so deeply invested in the awakening shock that it is driven by a deep 'knowing' something from another dimension as it were, like soul level and was driving with an intensity that was not human but sort of divine, it is as if the ancient divine call of Spirit was calling the 'lost soul in the wildness home' and the fake false entity was fighting and not wanting to loosen its grip even though it really knew in itself it was not real and because it knew it was not real and had not real standing or identity it wanted to retain the hope the 'one day' it would be solid and real.

So the driver kept going and looking and searching, the the knock on the window and he slowly wound the window down and the sweaty frantic bespeculated man said 'Are yo the one? and the driver said 'I thought you were the one' both then were in that dilemma and saw a mirror of themselves and both were the driver and the frantic man and both were searching for an identity that does not exist.

SHACK