SHACK 102 CONTRAST

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The name of the fanatically religious school in Amherst Park, Stamford Hill was Yesodey Hatorah , which I naturally called Yesterday tomorrow, not the translation by the way.  There were the totally Chasidish Rabbis of the old school and their offspring of which there many and a spattering of more Anglicized boys.  Girls and boys never to clap eyes on one another, girls were temptation and only arranged marriages were allowed. 

Cinema and early black and white TV banned. The more anglicized were kind of rebels and did not really fit in, most of us went there to get a crash course for our barmitzvah's or to learn something of long lapsed parental failure to educate us.

Some the 'tales' are interesting; there is a law wool and linen is forbidden in the same garment, it is the law of shutnis.  The Rebbe not Rabbi apparently Rebbe means teacher, ours were mainly Eastern European and could just about speak English, wrote on the board ' vool ant linin is vorebidden'  A bright spark who sat behind me said 'excuse Rebbe you have spelt is wrong it should be iz, he rubbed it out and put iz, There was laughter and as I was the oldest I used to take the smack round the face, I was the blame boy.

We had nick names for the teachers, by the way we had English in the afternoon and Hebrew lessons in the morning, our English teachers were mainly retired from British schools or just were weird and could not get proper jobs.  Many were fired for nebulous reasons.  The Hebrew ones we had 'Dustbin Dominitz, High Hat Hochizer, Six Point Pinter, I wrote a story which I called 'Tales of the Smultz Herring Range' and named many other things.

In contrast to that we had one great English teacher F A W Nash and he did not last long but he was a well known Judo Black Belt at the Budokwai and he introduced me to the club. I was the first youngster and joined with the ladies as there were no other youngsters, my teacher was a lady police women Irene Denehel.

The ju jutsu training came in handy and I progressed quickly to the men's section and then came Sensei and we formed our club the Judokwai. 

In contrast to this I was doing Judo with what the Chasidish called scutzim (worms) and did not know I went to the Budokwai until later and then I got expelled for two weeks and told to repent. Then I was playing football and was spotted by an Arsenal scout on two occasions and offered me a trial.  I went and as there were no academias in those days I used to clean boots and so on and sneak into games on Saturdays, if were caught and one day was, I got another two weeks suspension and repentance. I injured my leg badly and my cricket( I had a session with Middlesex CC) all came sadly to an end and my education secular wise then kicked off.

Another tale there was a Cinema near the school and not far from my home and I used to sneak in and watch Bud Abbot and Lou Costello also Laurel and Hardy if you were caught REPENTANCE.

There was a girl who was anglicized and  I used to peek at her, she had blond her and had arrived from Argentina, we used to meet secretly, we arranged to go to the pictures on Sunday and see a film, we were caught coming out.

Both of us were REPENTING and I was summoned to Six Point Pinter's office, he was the head Hebrew teacher.  I came in to the office, there was a one bar electric heater on the wall, he lit his cigarette by it and leaning forward to do so singed his beard, I could not help but giggle, I got the customary slap around the face, he then went onto to say 'You were seen coming out the Cinema with a voomans(woman) and this vorebidden, it is a great sin' I being a smart ass said 'Rabbi Akiba (a great saint)  was seen talking to a women in the market place and his disciples said 'how come you talk openly with a women in the market place'?  The Rabbi replied better to talk with a women in the open about God and the law than indoors and talk about other things' To which he gave the slap and said ' You are not a great Chohim( learned and esteemed Rabbi) get out and I got another long REPENTANCE.

The contrasts were very divergent.  A kosher footballing Buddhist Judoka.   Eventually I left football, religious school but still kept on Judo and the meditations from my early days in High Wycome. Then a new chapter with Sifu and Taosism, Tai Chi with Qi Gong and an apprentice electrician.

How does a young mind cope with the contrasts a Jewish faith challenged by Buddhism, a broken marriage of my parents leaving Mother to work and keep me although living with Aunt and Uncle and Mothers health failing with many mental health breakdowns and eventually cancer, my brother ten years older than I went away doing his own thing.  It was only meditation and the Eastern help from my Sensei and Sifu that got me through.

I then started going to night school and the influence of science grabbed me.

SHACK  

joods actueel
UNFORTUNATELY IN SOME RELIGIOUS SCHOOLS THE SEEDS OF SEGREGATION AND HATE CAN BE BRED.

SHACK 101 NDE AND JU JUTSU

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During my stay at High Wycombe I had a near death experience. After falling out of pram into a cold water stream, a type of canal type concrete bank, I somehow dog paddled to the bank, it was a freezing cold Octobers winters day, by the time Mother got me home we were both shocked and nervous. Some weeks later I got congestion on the lungs, pleurisy and pneumonia.

One Friday night in November 1942 I was pronounced dead by a Dr Thomson and Young, a Post Mortem was to be held,  my mother said 'you cannot do this till Sunday it is our Sabbath', this was to have saved my Life.  I was put into a morgue and on Sunday just before my Post Mortem I awoke and to the consternation of the man saying prayers.

During this stay in the morgue I remember clearly to this day, it is etched into my memory.  I went out into the Universe, not a tunnel or such like, I saw stars and other lights, one light was so bright it burned into me, I had not physical eyes, I was a mind, a consciousness. I knew who ever I was, that if I went into that light I would not return.  

Then out of space came a figure, just the head and shoulders, like a bust one sees on plinths, and the man had a round face with a black beard and a colored round hat with oblong colors kind of surrounding the brim, very much like an eastern Mediterranean head wear. He said '  My name is Joseph and you must go back, he intimated to me to look down' I did not know what down meant,so my awareness looked down as it were.  I saw a green and white and blue ball about the size of a tennis ball, and  I did not want to go to it. Eventually I did and as I went hurtling towards it I crashed as it were and was back in the cold box and banging to get out.  Half and hour before my Post Mortem.

Several things of note, I was one of twin, the other did not survive birth. The Americans came to Booker an old airfield and a lot of work was done to the place to accommodate the large super fortress's airplane, billets had not been built and villagers were asked to take air crew in. We had a pilot named Joe, when he saw how emaciated and thin I was he asked if he could teach me ju jutsu, my parents put mattresses in the large garage and the children were invited to join us. Two pajama suits were sown together to make the ju jutsu gi (costume).  ju jutsu was totally different today's version.  We were taught za zen and many of us OBE (out of body experiences). Joe's father had been in the American Merchant Navy and stayed often in Tokyo and Kyoto and leaned Ju Justu there.

There was only radio and that came on at 18.45 and of course no books on esoteric subjects and my parents would not have allowed it anyway.  I kept on about my experience and parents said it was a dream.  Now for all those scientists who say it is a memory in the brain to help one cope with death then where did my memories come from?     

When NASA started the early docking series in space and I saw partial pictures of the Earth I realized this is what I had seen.

Doctors Thomson and Young recommend I ate hight fat foods, bacon, pork , ham and beef of course all food was organic and we managed to get raw milk and scraps from the local farms although there was rationing , she said ' we are Jewish we cannot eat this it is not kosher'  The doctors said until I get healthier I should do so. my parents got dispensation from the Reverend Freed (no relative). It is interesting we are now being told that low carb and limited fat was good, margarine and not butter and now its coming back to low carb, moderate protein and high healthy fats.  What goes around comes around.   

Incidental my Hebrew name is Yosef Ben Moisha Mordehcai Joseph the son of Maurice Mordecai.  So who was Joseph in the NDE.

I was telepathic until the age of nine and often said 'why is that adults think one thing and say another'  I also see auras and used to do readings, I still see auras----no big deal.

SHACK

SHACK 100 TRAUMA

www.kissandmakeupsbeauty.b;og.com

Through life's highways and bye ways there are mixtures of experiences. I was born to a Jewish family and at the age of four had a near death experience and the family were evacuated to North of England in Cumbria and then to High Wycombe this was because of London being bombed during the second world war.

Then there was a brief sojourn in Wembley and then to Stamford Hill and Stoke Newington, here I was sent to a  extremely religious school to be taught Hebrew for my Barmitvah (Jewish rite of passage at the age of 13).

It was the most miserable and the most wonderful years of my life at the age of eleven years, I met Sensei and Chasisdick Rabbis a stark contrast.  I also became aware, although I suspected that my parents were not happy.  In my eleventh year at Stamford Hill I knew for sure my father was a chronic addicted gambler.

Just before my Barmitzvah(I caught chicken pox three weeks before the event and just made it) my parents split up and Mother and I went to Balham and various other places and none of our relatives would take us in.  The most dramatic event occurred when my parents tried to make a go of things.

Dad called for us and we were ushered into a men's barber shop, smoke of cigarettes and cigars filled the saloon, men's magazines were strewn on the floor, there were crude remarks, Mum clutched me to her tightly.  We then went down to the cellar, down rickety stairs with a wobbly banister and open steps, there were two thin metal camps beds, bare concrete floor, cold and a smelly toilet shared with the clients upstairs.  The blankets on the bed were dirty and that brown rough coarse feel that army barracks blankets have.

My Mother cried and said 'Maurice is this what you have brought us too' He shrugged and sheepishly said 'well its somewhere to stay' and then just turned his back and went away'.

My Mother crying tore at my heart strings, I did not know what to do.  I felt rage at my father and wanted to hit him. For years I felt the sobbing of my Mum, she never recovered fully nor I for many years.

Eventually we were taken in by my mothers sister and husband and my mother shared a room with my grandma, my aunt and uncle were childless and Uncle took over the role of father, he was fun and kind, my aunt was nervous and strange, Grandma from Russia a real matriarch.

I had at last a warm comfortable bed and my own room. 

SHACK  

SHACK 99 CITADEL

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The citadel is defined as a fortress and in a commanding position.  Life at times can seem like a battle.  Battered and exhausted, alone and bedraggled, cold and hungry without a home to go to. This feeling is one of despondency and no hope.  Pleading with strangers and authorities some who are sympathetic and others because their hands are tied by commitments move shyly and guiltily away, often coming back to explain they wanted to help but could not.

Then perchance a stranger or a warm place, a cup of tea offered some comfort and relief and gave time for regrouping and rebuilding.

When at the lowest point and surrendering to the situation, often there was nothing else to do, because worrying and imagining every worst scenario and outcome did not help at all and just made the deplorable situation worst. 

Over the years learning to surrender to the seeming inevitable when it arrived seemed to create a space, one's own thoughts of doom and gloom suspended.  This seemed to make a space in the mind, a kind of void or vacuum and without prayer or trust by just waiting patiently for the chaos and storm to subside seemed to invite sychronicity and spontaneous action. The empty patient and quiet mind seemed to suggest a space for something greater to fill and indeed fill a need.

Could this space be a sort of citadel? A fortress against life's somewhat chaotic and turbulent events. The strange thing is this it is a fortress without walls and defenses and is entirely passive.

What manner of citadel is this?  One might say it is the citadel of no citadel without form or boundaries-----the only boundary is what the mind gives it.

SHACK 

SHACK 96 LOST

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When I came to publish SHACK 96 there was no such writing to be found in the blog list.  Either I had failed to number it or did not write one, so this came up.

I decided to write it now and well out of the order of the lists of which there are many more.

Does it really matter in the great scheme of things if one writes or does anything? 

Taking the view that all perishes and has a limited existence which is a called a life time it would be futile to modern society to be without a goal, listless and a mere vacant person. Perhaps this is what a native mind is like, hunting for food, procreating, respecting nature and living without TV, cell / mobile phones, computers, cars, fridges, only shamans for doctors seeing nature as a benefactor, no vacations for every day is one and not concerned about life or death as vital and keeping up to fashion and always looking young.

Of course I live in this Western Civilisation and all its accoutrements and it is fitting in the simple with the complex that maybe the challenge, perhaps we have to be in the technical age and refine it so that it is a compliment and concomitant and commensurate to ‘spiritual’ Universal Values.

This is not a compromise but a seeking to marry seemingly opposites and with war torn cities massive rubble and extinction and huge rape and abuse, life as cheap as knife to the neck and yet there can be out of the ashes of utmost negativity, greed, lust and depravity that a Phoenix, that Mystical Creature of hope and not the sorry and depletion and to rise to the hope of the glory of the soaring spirit that one day rise to full glory of love and harmony.

So this is what happens when one forgets to number a piece of writing.

SHACK

   

SHACK 98 DARN IT

memes

I am the mystery I seek, I am trying to solve myself, I felt an energy coming from deep within, maybe the riddle cannot be solved, I am the riddle for I am always searching for it, and gives a reason for living.  On one hand I am the creator and on the other hand I have to have a mystery to keep on creating.  There is no way I can just stop for I am the eternal being as it were.

So the Creator put a little of Itself into its creation hoping to solve the riddle, actually there will never be an answer for eternity is an open quest / question and if there were an answer then the game stops and so does eternity.  This is the lure the search for something that can never be found.

If one is said to be nothing as in SHACK 97 if one is something then it is definable and eternity abolished. So who am I, I am the mystery trying to solve itself.

From dear old SHACK 97 I have been asked why have I not carried on laughing so heartily and I reply, if one holds onto that experience one maybe addicted to find it again and not move on. One should to let it go so one can go ever further into nothing.

How can one go deeper into nothing if there's nothing there?  Well that's the mystery isn't it?

One is actually traveling through space like in kind of Star Trek and can go on forever, like traveling inside the mind of God, The Universal Consciousness, The Cosmic Mind, maybe we are experiencing God's dreams and experiences as God travels through Its Own mind process.

'Brahmin's Lila / dream' and 'My Father's house has many mansions'  

And so the mystery remains----darn it.

SHACK

Question---

Question----- where would I be without the mystery?

If nowhere then how I could I solve the unsolvable mystery and who would there be to acknowledge the mystery existed----darn it.

Have a cup of tea. 

SHACK 97 MERRY MAN

laughter the mind set effect

Some years back I was changing towels in the bathroom and had no thoughts going on when a strange internal voice seemed to almost command and demand 'what would you be like if you were nothing'?  I stood as if stunned, shocked and paralyzed--------then suddenly the reply came ', 'NOTHING', the response was swift and like an arrow.

Then followed laughter and a relief, I laughed until I was sore, it lasted for a whole afternoon and evening. Neighbors could hear me and thought I was in distress, when I opened the door I could only greet them with laughter, they started as well and I could not talk. This continued for a few weeks, this laughter kept brimming over and many friends and persons on the bus and train kept laughing with me for it burst out spontaneously for no apparent reason.

I phoned friends in the UK, Germany, France, Belgium, Holland, Spain, Italy USA and Canada.  I shared with them and could not stop laughing it caught on with them as well.

One friend in the UK told me he had a video of an interview with a Guru called Mooji  and a disciple named Dennis and it was on You Tube it is called the laughing Buddha and my laughter was as Dennis's and when I watched it I knew exactly what this man and Mooji felt. Watch and see for yourself, maybe it will set you off laughing as well.

SHACK

SHACK 95 DEVOTION

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It may seem a very strange notion to be devoted to an invisible source and the only footprints of its existence is indelibly imprinted in my heart. 

The heart you say, yes, but not the physical heart but the heart that is encapsulated in the feeling of love and devotion, a kind of mind consciousness.

From Psalm 42-1 --  As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so my soul panteth after thee, oh God.

I have read many holy bibles of most religions and occasionally I come across a phrase or quotation which aptly and succinctly is the epitome of what I wish to express and I have not the inspiration to do so.

There is indeed a thirst, a love affair to experience this strange God, not a father nor mother image which is without form or indeed tangible with any of the six senses that is if you count the mind as one. There is a passion that is so overwhelming that worldly ambition has nothing to offer nor any relationships. I am a hermit living in the world and fast becoming not of it.

It feels like an actual pain, a sword of fire which not even the cool waters of the brook can stem the thirst nor the shade of the glade on a burning hot day can assuage.  It makes me want to cry out ' where art thou oh Lord, Mother of my heart, keeper of my soul, yet I seek thee and cannot see you yet I know you are there, let me join with you and stop this pain, the pain of separation, and yet what is there to be separated from?'  I go into strange words of expression and still come nowhere to it.

It is a feeling, a devotion to a knowing that consumes my very soul, and cries out 'where is this God, My God'?   The very word God to some is nebulous and 'thin on the ground' yet to merely say the Source, The Creator, Cosmic Consciousness, The All in All, that is omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient falls very short of a description or any definition.

 To my Buddhist teachers and faith priests I have encountered they may differ, the Sensei and Sifu may say I am still in the world of delusion and whilst there is is the slightest notion or smidgen it cannot be the Buddha ' for if you see the Buddha advancing towards you fell off his head' and the priests may say ' it is the whispering voice in the wilderness of your soul, it is the call of God beckoning you to come home to His Presence'.

Yet I am consumed by a fire that burns in me, I know with everything I have, mind soul and body, this is my love, my true beloved and I know with unshakable firmness this is the feel of the almighty one, one without equal and I have to be roasted and barbecued, placed on the spit of this alchemy until there is nowt left of me and rinsed out, dried and cured then there is only IT.  

SHACK

SHACK 94 HANKERING

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HANKERING IS ALWAYS IN THE FUTURE (SHACK)

Looking out of the window whist rebounding, gently bobbing up and down in a rhythmic mode, facing a beautiful small tree of about twelve feet high and its delicate umbrella shape, almost like a slender pear.  It had been a frosty cold winters morning, the frost was melting on the slender delicate branches and buds. The whole tree was glistening in the light of the sun which was shyly peeping through almost apologetically and trying its hardest not to be intrusive.

The whole vista was like a jeweled chandelier clustered with precious jewels.  A magic phenomenon. The beauty and magic of nature displayed in all its glory.  It doesn't have to be a mighty mountain, a sensuous plush valley or a majestic mighty waterfall, just a simple small tree in a garden in a block of flats in suburbia London UK.

I could feel how one could wish for such a view every morning, like bright sparkling jewels that adorn ladies and jeweled watches and tie pins for men.  Apart from their expensive purchase prices and their status statement in the pecking order of high society, they do bring a sparkle to the eye and a sense of rare beauty.

 This can bring about a sense and state of  hankering a yearning and desire for a repeat performance and repetitious occasions and can breed a familiarity and second nature so to speak.    

This familiarity then can lead to wanting more of the same and so make one search for more and more and then to hoarding and acquisitiveness.  

The acquisitiveness can steal a certain delight in just letting go of possessing the view and precious objects with objet d' art the more one sees these precious things then it can set up a hankering and thirst which can lead to all sorts of strange behavior in order to fulfill the desire, and sense of selfishness and sometimes murderous pursuit follows.  

There is a freedom in just enjoying the moment and letting it go and leaving it to spontaneity to bring about the chance encounter or to wear the precious necklace, watch or display the objet d'art and so the hankering is not fostered.  The mind is free and not in a state of hunger or obsession.

This becomes an inner wisdom of just letting the world go by but with awareness and enjoying the views and vistas when they arise by synchronicity.

This then becomes an inner experience and not an outward materialistic demand. For outside requirements other than for sustenance relies on those commodities that rot and decay with time or on one's demise.  Letting go of hankering and just being delighted in what comes along on rare moments is a joy, holding onto those moments can feel like a burden and drive the mind to frenzy and anxiety.  For if I look out of my window and the same vista is not there because the weather has changed it can lead to disappointment. 

Now when I look out of my window the tree has changed with the weather and another scenario has come along spontaneously and nature has bestowed the gift to me by an unknown generous hand. 

SHACK

  

SHACK 93 SO QUIET

peg it board

There is a stillness and quiet in nature, even with howler monkeys and buzzing insects(maybe mosquito's that attack not so), however the experiences I've had in very cold countries, and two very hot countries were for me very revealing.

The most evident was the absence of traffic, TV, Radio and mobile /cell phones, actually the first analogue phones were in the pipeline.

The stillness without neighbors only in one case a farmer some miles away was stunning.  There was no distraction only at first the acclimatising to the new environment.

When I settled in and did the daily chores it seemed like the whole of nature was still and yet moving, like a natural meditation, it was if the very nature of nature was tuned to the quiet state even when an activity took place that was apparently violent such as an animal predation, a natural weather event, although tragic in consequence, it was as locals told me, this is how nature works, its exhilarating, uplifting, healthy and supplies the daily diet, other than that life and death go side by side.  

In the city this is not so apparent, vehicle accidents, bad diet and illness, pollution and terror, TV, computers and distraction 'turn off the survival mode' and doctors, pills and drugs save many its true. Those in nature far away from help like this have to live with the uncertainty nature throws at them, yet this provides a challenge and there is a saying 'necessity is the mother of invention'.

Alone I had to face myself there was no running, I had to innovate and at times faced real danger and learn from the mistakes.

I walked miles in the baking heat and the locals thought me mad, when I got too hot I walked into the sea with shorts, tee shirt and sandals.  After a while the salt in the sea water caused holes in my shorts and shirt, I was in the fashion as this tattered fabric is a fashion statement now.  I then started to dip naked on secluded beaches.

There were many chores to do, in fact not chores but keeping house and I did that gladly and those moments of drawing water from the well, cooking, getting supplies from the village three miles away over unmade old cart rutted stone tracks, used long ago, carrying a large load of supplies in two back packs and two hand held carriers to last me a month so I could live alone was my exercise workout along with climbing hills and steep cliffs and endless long walks, and on some days just basking in the sun and swimming.  In the colder climates snow walking, admiring the Aura Borealis and building snow men, looking for elk(moose) and keeping out of the way of bears and wolves.  I did not trap I bought supplies from the local dog team sledges, a sort of grocery supply enterprising business.

My companions were scorpions, lizards, tortoise, snakes, wild bore, and in one of the places bears, wolves and lynx.  In the hot climate the stillness was to me the same as the cold, just my adjustment was needed.  There was a great joy in the survival and the needs of society in towns spoilt me on returning.  I felt more alive with hardly any distraction or the need for conversation. 

On returning to the city my health declined, I felt restless and I had to return because of family problems---had this not been so I might have ended up in the wilds.

Interesting in the cold experience many a local person would tell me ' we might come across a person who was old and just died in their remote hut, some frozen and some on the loo or gone fishing and just died, this was not uncommon, we just dug a hole and went on, this could happen to one of any age'.  In the hot climate I heard much the same about life and death as a natural part of nature and no big deal.  

Often said Life and Death are opposites---Life has no opposites.

Tread the Earth softly because you never know when the tap on the shoulder comes and when you turn round you realize death has been stalking you all your life and Death has a gift for you, birth somewhere else in someplace-------the essence of oneself can be seen, a corpse can feed animals, on death maggots appear, when one defecates in the wild dung beetles make use of excretia, a dead tree is host to all manners of bacteria, nature is the creme de la creme of recycling and transmuting, nothing is ever lost.

Fear not you never know where the Universe and its Creation Nature will take you and you might end up a dung beetle or an angel or just nothing like one thought. 

SHACK

SHACK 92 IDENTITY

 adcieo.com

Listening to the chatter of the mind, the incessant inner dialogue and accompanying it the fantasies and daydreams which are a far cry from the quiet contemplative and meditative mind I wondered why this cacophony onslaught was necessary?

The inner auditory assault caused by the seemingly endless thoughts and some breaks of silence and peace caused ruffles and waves with feelings and emotions in and on the tranquil ocean of calmness. I felt so  much better when quiet and at peace, healthier as well.

My feeling was that the experiences of the past(s) were an accumulation into a package named ego, and it sort of lived a separate life, a sort of splinter and became an entity with a life of its own seemingly observed by a witness at times.  When the witness 'clicked' in, the ego diminished its diatribe and became self aware it was an entity with a limited shelf life.  It was only a bundle of thoughts and experiences and did not have any lasting and real foundation.

In order for this ego to sustain itself it must build a history an illusionary life, a passport to its birth and origin and all the family history that accompanies it. It will add or delete that which does not serve its purpose and will develop attack and defense systems, strategies and use the tools of denial, lying, pretense, and such extreme measures as threats, violence and whatever machinations that are available. It must form a solid bullet proof identity.

From a vista of expanded education of this dilemma a view of the length of time or longevity of this entity ego depends on the beliefs of the ego. One might say the ego dies with the body and so it was never really everlasting unless one's belief is reincarnation, then the ego comes back to finish off unfinished business, relive itself and claim its former identity. This one could call local identity, or local mind.

However with the observer who it is felt has an intelligence that seems to be all pervasive, it seems to have limitless being and only pours a drop of itself into the human body and indeed everything. This presence assures Itself it is not an illusion and does not vary in Its intelligence and observation.  Perhaps the witness awareness's purpose for being present in the body and mind at 'the back' of the ego which tends to try to preempt the observer is to liberate the ego and include it in the observer itself, for the ego is a splinter, a chip off of the awareness and once the ego experiences the union with its greater being the false identity can drop away.

The ego then becomes the wave that joins the ocean and rests in the knowledge that is not separated and assumes a undefinable identity----it becomes an undefinable and identity-less whatever and is so delighted to be so. 

Define the identity of God, the Universe, the Cosmos? It seems that having no specific identity is everlasting and an attribute of eternity----whatever that is.

If you are not sure you are forever---then who are you as a temporary being?  And if you are sure you are forever who told you so?   Having no identity frees you of this dilemma!!!

Being free is having no identity-------nothing to worry about here.

SHACK

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ecosprinter

SHACK 91 WAS IT-IS IT

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Some experiences are difficult to put into words or adequately describe not alone give the feel or poignant subtle nuisances of the deep intrinsic realm of the mind and conscious awareness.  

Be that as it may while meditating or at odd times, especially when just almost thoughtless and doing the chores of the day or mindlessly letting the day roll by, a sort of 'behind the mind---sort of back of the head -----kind of apparition or ghost----subtle energy body--- a  distinct feeling of a presence, a not me presence, a super me or higher self that seems to overshadow me, an umbrella of a watcher, a witness to the comings and goings of the daily life and inner machinations of my mind'

It seems benevolent, in fact at one such feeling I felt it was the real me and that the rest of me needs to join with it, and like a silken cloud, a gossamer sheer light rain that covers the physical body and is an elixir to the innards.  

The assurity seemed to suggest that this experience was genuine and that indeed it was a non judgmental benefactor. The beneficiary was the whole of creation and I was as everyone and everything is as well.

So how does one become one with it? By being aware of the judgments made, the feelings of animosity and revenge, by disrespecting Mother Earth by being vain and arrogant, aloof and superior----and these are but a few.

When one is purged and cleansed in the alchemy of Life's experiences or by some self discipline, perhaps a spiritual non religious quest then a door in the mind, an invitation to fill the vacant empty space, the tenant of ego departed, then and perhaps then the great gift of this presence felt as Grace will fill the cup of longing to be one with the all and all.

SHACK 

SHACK 90 FASTING

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The book said everyone or nearly everyone thought fasting was dangerous, my doctor shuddered. I had been missing breakfast for years and sometimes lunch or having lunch and not dinner.  I did not know this was fasting it just felt good.

Now I am following regular periods of fast and so far I am well. The fast lasts 42 hours.  There are recommended specifics like 12 hr, 24 hr, 36 hr , 42 hr and 3 to 7 days.

After the 42 hrs one gently breaks the fast with some light food, mainly vegetables (very small less than a handful or salad or a couple of spoons of nut butter) proceeded by a long drink of water and water after the snack, some half hour or one hour later a meal. The meal should be high quality fat (eggs, avocado, organic butter, ghee, some chicken salad and vegetables and no carbohydrates like bread, pasta, cake, rice, potato, so it is low carb, moderate protein, high fat { no vegetable oils as fat}).

The results so far for me have been great and I feel ever so well. Mind you I have only just begun.  I tried overloading with food after one session and oh boy, the carbs were a reminder how they clog one up, this is also a sugar free diet, although technically one is not dieting, because there is an absence of food.

I am getting comfortable with not eating much even when breaking the fast. It would seem to most that I am starving myself. Starvation is when there is no food available and one is under stress, fasting is voluntary and one can eat whenever because there is a ready food supply available. 

Our early ancestors had to hunt or gather and often went without food and I have a feeling that with so much food available with supermarkets and so on, we tend to eat more, so this makes the demand for an expanding population who want three meals a day, put the farmers, by the demand to grow more.  The tendency may arise to produce foods with additives, preservatives to promote shelf life, to use fillers and other connivances to fulfill the demand or even start genetically engineer plant genetics to make the plants yield more and be resistant to predation by insects.  

This tampering and tinkering with the crops we eat and animals when it starts to be part of the food chain sets up an anomaly with our bodies which do not recognize this additional 'information'  as fitting the gut and indigestion, so the body feels it is waste and although we may feel full and satiated we are actually undernourished--- a well fed nation and malnourished.

So I save money fasting in a way, yet can afford the more expensive foods which I can purchase in small quantities,  however that is not the issue, do not have to cook, however, good water, tea(green is my choice) some say black coffee(I tried this in one session----and I nearly feinted and pulse raced) there are things one can add to the water and tea, coconut, apple cider vinegar, lemon no honey or sweeteners.  When the fast period is over and one wants a change there is an intermittent fast do the gentle fast breaker and then have two small meals four to six hours apart.

There are many advantages and I am hoping this will continue, I am in my late seventies and wonder if I have started too late, however the benefits I feel for whatever years I have left would be a bonus.

SHACK

SHACK 89 NOW?

pinterest

WHEN IS THE NOW- NOW

WHEN NOW IS

IS THERE AN IS IN NOW

IF THERE IS AN IS IN NOW -WHAT IS IT

SHACK

imgflip

SHACK 88 AS TIME GOES BY

wikipedia (old father time)

what direction is time shack

WHEN ANYTIME IS NOW

WHEN IS TIME NOW

SO----WHAT IS TIME

SHACK

SHACK 87 THE SPRING

www.viajevviajle.com

It seems that a spring brings forth precious water from the depths in a never ending supply.

My heart, my life, my being seems to be ever opening up.  Nothing outside seems to change much.

The congestion I am feeling this bitter cold dark winter, symptoms of catarrh, mucous seem to be the clutter of the past.  This is the physical grunge of accumulated patterns and outlived modes and sequences of thought which shaped my perceived reality.  Now even a slight constipation then a release in the offing, could not stop the spring or cap it, for the springs pressure blows off the plug and there is a gentle flow just before the possibility of an almighty volcanic eruption and the fear of tearing asunder my known world which represents my security which is holding the process back, which could be my demise, yet it must be so.

What does it matter if this mortal coil, this vessel of flesh finishes its destined journey, for it is only transporting me, the essence of my being to somewhere else where the spring has its source. 

SHACK

SHACK 86 THE PARTY

freindsofanonwildnernessarea.org

Being invited to a Anniversary was unexpected.

On reaching the venue I was amazed.  I had been living in nature in a shack without hot water, only to boil it on a camping gaz ring.

The house was a mansion, with large column pillars, eight in all. Vast grounds well manicured.

Large cars silently rolled up, each alloted a parking place by liveried attendants.  People decanted from the limousines and were attired in expensive and fashion clothes.

My cycle was huddled in a corner, people looked at my faded jeans, rough skin jacket and open boots at the toes.  My long curly unkempt  hair, deeply suntanned, red and black beard--- a wild man.

I smelt clean and my hair was curly but orderly, one lady said as if undressing me, for I was well muscled and lean 'who is that gorgeous man'? 

My hosts embarrassingly explained to all and sundry I'd been away for years in the wilds, researching, which was not true, I had been away several years and had taken a degree and just traveled and lived wild, yes in a place of residence where I traveled and came back too. 

As I went into the main hall, my nose was assaulted by perfume, after shave and deodorant.  My nose or rather my sense of smell, the olfactics, had become sensitized by living wild so to speak, I could smell animals, hear sounds that others maybe could not.

I lived alone in a simple herdsman's cottage, one step removed from a shack although it was broken down in places it could well qualify as a shack, at least I thought so.  The nearness and noise of so many people actually frightened me.  All vying for attention and importance.

People did not know what to say to me or me to them and could not look me in the eye and avoided my open gaze and shied away as if they had secrets to hide and that I could look straight through them and know their masks and other things. For where I lived people were simple and had open innocent eyes and posture.

My hosts had not realized the changes in me nor I in them.  The last we met they were stony broke as was I and still am.  We had gone our ways they to make millions, me to the wilderness.  They were extremely happy with their lot as I with mine.

I returned to the wilderness and freedom of my shack to be greeted by a tortoise.

SHACK

SHACK 85 DANCE OF LIFE

framepool

Listening to the deep vibrant voices of the native singers and the drums and feet beating reverberating through the Earth and me, I am moved to join in.

We are barefooted and nearly naked, my white skin stands out in contrast to the brown and black skins--- such a lovely tapestry.

Skins are only a covering as are the bones, veins, arteries, organs, blood and all that.  What joins us as one is invisible. 

Suddenly I forget who I am, my name, my country of birth, my education and I transported to a sense of being one with everything. My body does not seem to exist and feel one with the whole.

Later I lay on back on the rough ground, yet somehow it is soft and welcoming.

My companions are all asleep, we just flopped where we were deliriously exhausted.

I go into the bush for a pee and return to a blissful sleep, and all is very, very well indeed.

SHACK

an experience at New Moon time somewhere in an ancient jungle clearing.(shack)

SHACK 84 LET ME GO

www.dreamtime.com

As I lay in the bed surrounded by metal bars  I am crying.  The staff say its going to be alright.

They do not understand I am feeling release and utter joy.  At last I can leave this lovely enclosure my precious gift of a flesh body.

The tears are tears of at last going home.

I am only fearful of the metal barbs and instruments and the tubes with procedures which are holding me back and preventing my release. 

Will someone please stamp my passport and let me through customs and immigration and I am pleading with them----PLEASE LET ME GO.  

SHACK

SHACK 83 FEELING HOLY

General Church of New Jerusalem

At times I feel 'holy' and have an urge to express myself in an ancestral way.

Here my cry oh Abba Father. Father / Mother God of my ancestors, Save your people world wide of all denominations and persuasions from the darkness and perversions. 

Your Creation cries out for salvation.  Divine Mama your tender Cosmic heart sheds tears as your children suffer intolerable servitude and atrocities.

Great Mother Earth your cries I hear like the howl of the wolf at Full Moon.  On bended knees I know how my heart sobs for the day of light to dispel this evil sticky tar. This blemish and stain.

Yet in us is the salvation, all of us have the ability to find the Union of our Spirit to your spirit and as one we arise as a collective on fire with the passion to save our world and ourselves.

SHACK