SHACK 103 OH ! WHAT

shuttercock

I was to go to Tottenham Police Station for two weeks as they were short on staff in Forensics. My young trainee came with me, she was young blond and beautiful.

We were called to a burglary in Stamford Hill in a very orthodox household. The bearded man came to the door and we identified ourselves, he immediately covered his eyes when he saw Maggie(name change) because he was not to speak to a women who did not wear the sheitel(wig) or family and friends who were female, married women wear a wig, some of them shave their heads.  The women shied away from me.

I knew these house well for near my barmitzvah I had lived around the corner many years back.

I requested Maggie to go round the back and look at windows, these houses had a basement and two floors, sometimes three, the main rooms had eleven foot high ceilings, in the main two floors the windows on the ground floor had ledges outside and easy to climb to and stand on.

Maggie came back and said there were tool marks like somebody had used a lever or some such to prise the window up, they were heavy and so the window was left and the back garden door was levered open, the one frail place in a very sturdy building.

Maggie then said to me 'hey Geoff, on the washing line there several sheets with a hole in the middle' ' I said this is a orthodox Jewish custom, when it comes to sexual intercourse(I used more specific words) the wife takes off the wig and the man puts the sheet over his wife to insert his penis through the hole whilst speaking the Jewish Lords Prayer so the act is done quickly and simply not to enjoy and make desire more often but just to multiply the race ' the words exceed wax and multiply' She looked at me and said 'your kidding'

'No Maggs I'm  not'  She said OH ! WHAT' and immediately went into hysterics. 'She asked the lady of the house could she use the toilet and she was refused. I said 'Go into the van and use a specimen bottle, because she was nigh near wetting herself.

I then instructed the husband to make the back garden door more substantial and we left with Maggie in tears of laughter all the way back to station.

SHACK