ME,me
There are some people who have terribly dark
thoughts perhaps through life experiences and trauma. These experiences are not owned therefore
becomes ‘not my responsibility’ and are then projected out and not dealt with.
This then leads to the ‘blame game’ and makes one the victim. This particular lady had really some spiteful
and dark thoughts and she was paranoid with everyone to blame for her anger and
her not liking herself. She would never
admit that she did not like herself, whilst in fact she hated herself. Men let
her down and she blamed them, men made her feel awful and her numerous
relationships were tragic and unsuccessful.
She was a manager of a sheltered home for elderly and disabled people
and regularly bullied the elderly and frail and anyone who dared to oppose her
were swiftly and relentlessly dealt with.
She had favourites and confided in them and often
in a drunk state confessed her bitterness that life had dealt her a rotten hand
and especially with men. When she was spoken too about her dark thoughts she
would say they were not hers and were the result of evil people who had it in
for her. She did not see that blaming
people was making her a victim of her own projections, 'so and so makes me feel
angry, resentful, guilty and revengeful’, she never apologises and refuses help
and yet when cornered lied and dropped
innocent people into trouble by getting
other people to ‘fire the bullets’.
She had guile and cunning and was street wise and
the faithful loyal were rewarded but if they stepped out of line she would
bring ‘fire and heaven sent wrath’ upon them.
She schemed over numerous bottles of wine in order
to manipulate plans of revenge and get her own back. She was investigated by
the police several times and the management of her company and had a charmed
life and the life of ten cats. She used
magic rituals that she learnt from a gypsy friend and cast spells and curses.
I realised if one is caught up in a terrorist
incident or accident it is easy to blame.
However if one can and it is not easy to let the events be factual, face
it full on an rerun it with sharp awareness then the storage and regurgitation
of the event is less emotionally damaging and the dark thoughts, anger, revenge
and blame will cause less haunting and will cause less trauma, repression and
suppression only stores it in the mind and body and it can cause subterranean
damage and surface in disguise and keep doing so until the mask is stripped off
and one faces it. One will always blame
the other or oneself, then it becomes a habit and seems part ones reality and
goes through life disappointed and unhappy. It becomes habitual.
This then becomes a way of life, disgruntled,
wary, distrusting, suspicious leading to exhaustion trying to keep ones guard
up and eventually leading a solitary lone lonely life.
In the case of the terrorist incident one is not
to blame and these incidents are morally inappropriate and unloving and one can ease
the pain and anger one can endeavour to come to some sort of resolution with
oneself, because what one projects and gives away and not owned cannot be dealt
with and one has given away the property of that projection to someone else.
Blame and vindictiveness brought into a
relationship and is unfinished business can surface in a new relationship and
bear no resemblance to the new partner and may use the new relationship as a
‘blame board game’. Bitterness and all
that sails with it can become a way of life and the one who is in this frame of
mind may always be looking out to vent this on any suitable person or situation
and what’s more gather around like minded.
There is a relationship which can be found under
the fall out of the damage and it needs to start in oneself before venturing
out. There is a compassion which is free and unfettered and is not caught up in
the net of emotional rewards and comforts.
Should one be in a purely emotional relationship then one looks to the
other for the emotional rewards usually based on ‘love that was not given or
received from an early age’ one looks to the partner as ‘the love of one’s
life’ and puts a huge responsibility on them, keep the supply of rewards
coming, the words of affection and adoration coming, and when they die or go
awry, deep pain and rejection. Then the
blame game starts off again. It’s
putting one’s eggs in one basket.
Forming deep attachments has a side effect when
that attachment is broken then withdrawal and emotional pain commences and one
realises that one’s life has been lived through another. All life in form is transient, a passing
cloud, a whiff of scent, almost dreamlike and how does one make a dream a reality
when one day death claims it all.
Life is unpredictable and as such is an adventure,
one is a pioneer and explorer if not the strength to deal with the unexpected is
not there and one is too reliant on others who may not be available so one
needs to be innovative, adaptable and resourceful. Logic and intellect can help but the trusting
in the intuitive and spontaneous ‘inner resources’ of life may be of the
highest value.
Those that live with a definite image and do
intentionising and mind manifestation will if applied diligently and whole
heartedly may get their dream, yet to what avail when death swallows that up
and they proclaim on their death bed ‘yes I did it my way’ and lament when it is
snatched away by the ‘grim reaper’ on the other hand they might sail away into
death’s locker very happy indeed. Yes, one can enjoy it all and have it all
without attachment, a game that’s just a game win or lose.
Looking for Mr or Mrs Right, the man or girl of my
dreams is a formulae that many pursue for love and perhaps taken from a
Hollywood Movie or Celebrity Idol or romance book can fizzle out after the
extended honeymoon is over.
The world is going through this; the dark lady
game of blame. Blame this country’ this
religion, this cult, this ideology, these politics and so on. Why doesn't God stop these massacres, Gods gone off
and left us, disappointed at his own creation.
Whilst we all blame and go into denial which then
starts the blame game again then there will always be this ‘game’. When we stop blaming others we can turn it on
ourselves, I blame myself, I am weak, I should have seen this coming, too
aggressive, I’m fake, not assertive enough, what’s wrong with me and so on.
When listening to oneself and examining one’s
thoughts and emotions, one may come to the realisation these are not who I am
or anybody else, I have driven these underground in the basement, the cellar or
if you like the attic, under the stairs and these dark places are running my
life. I realise triggers, signals, codes and signs set these off. Words by others, the media, peer pressure and
parental early childhood stuff. Is this really me, am I not more than this?
Do I have to go to my deathbed resenting life,
blaming everyone and thing, how do I break the deadlock, the impasse to these
continuing things, like a loop tape.
If you choose too' one can watch without bias and keep
note of the thoughts and feelings, emotions and scenarios. Have a small Dictaphone and keep note as
these reoccurring thoughts, feelings, scenarios, fantasies and emotions occur,
if one does this in a easy yet unbiased and non judgemental way, it may happen
that at one time an awareness without bias, attention without intention, easy breathing,
relaxed and yet fine tuned alert without strain or tenseness, a sudden
realisation steals upon one ‘is this all there is to me a set of programmes,
fantasies, emotions’? Who is this
watching these happenings and does not seem to be part of them, a silent not
interfering witness, a watcher, these intrusions of mind stuff seem less real
than the watcher. The watcher without
thought seems at peace, is peace, and do I really need so much thought?
SHACK
FunnyPica.com
