Monday, 15 June 2020

SHACK 775 SPLENDID ISOLATION

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Many of us are constantly busy or mainly occupied with thought as the buzzing mind, anxious and chewing lip or inner cheek, gnawing teeth or tension in some form or other and sometimes becoming aware of this automatic stiffening of neck shoulder or abdomen, the breathing shallow and sometimes a feeling of doom or some unpleasant event about to unfold.

I call this in my doing from doing. Doing, spurred on by the automatic responses and urges that have been instilled in me from childhood, the first set of patterns, programmes and conditioning that was 'poured into this innocent receptive brain' and shaped me for the rest of my life with a few modifications which expanded the prison a little and if I strayed too far I felt naked and guilty for my security and the known are threatened. It didn't feel like prison at the time but an easy security and safety---the known.

Something triggered a curiosity, it was my dear late brother and a book he gave me on  jujitsu in the late 40's and my early encounter with Joe a USA pilot stationed at Booker aerodrome and stayed with us for a while until they had billets built for them and he taught us little kids meditation and a few moves of  jujitsu as well.

Later on I met people through Judo and Sensei and Sifu, especially Rina and Roy Morris. Then trips to Findhorn and various travels abroad. 

I was becoming aware of the special interviews with Krishna Murti, early days of witnessing the dramatic change overnight in Eckhart Tolle and was questioning more my existence and especially the significance of  my NDE.

What was becoming increasingly noticeable was the daily round of work, workshop presentations, patients and daily chores, doing, doing, doing and doing from doing like a hamster on the wheel. The more doing it seemed perpetuated more doing until I got exhausted, bored and a burn out through glandular fever and two bouts of suspected  cancer, caught early and healed.

It was then I really appreciated beginning 'Being' at first  watching and observing the busy mind and yet I had been doing this years back with my 'koan' experience and Sensei saying 'you will never see the world the same as others, now your troubles begin' and way back at the age of 19 and all seemed exciting and free and I got distracted by work, relationships and that early freedom got covered over by external trappings and the jolt of the burn out forced me to regain some semblance that 'mental clarity' which was the absence of thought and emotion which prompted the 'doing from automated programming' which is doing without awareness or presence, a mere robotic performance.

Now in lock down due to a questionable virus named COVID-19. which I feel is a viral manufactured whatever, certainly catching and a great conspiratorial massaging of the number of deaths as any admission to hospital is put down as the virus and could be the flu which every year takes many to the grave and the governments and the WHO instruct the medics who sign off on the certificate.

Be that as it may many of the world's population were put on lock down and had to work from home and could only go out for food,   the chemist or to help neighbours to get food, an hours exercise, 6 feet distance from people, wear a mask, incessantly wash hands and self isolate the moment one had fever and cough for three weeks or seven days, for old codgers like me three to four months self isolation.

For me it was almost the same as I hardly went far just to a cafe and buy food and occasionally to family, I'd given up all travels of distance since 2002. However for many I heard on the news and from emails, telephone calls and Skype, it was  giving people 'cabin fever' boredom, a survey said Netflix and similar companies supplying endless films for hire on the TV or computer and were inundated with subscribers,  apparently porn sites as well, alcohol sales and deliveries(pubs, cinemas, sports events and so on were cancelled) all these and delivery of food were making fortunes, suicides, loneliness, boredom  and mental  problems were rife.

People were so used to constantly being entertained, and just working off of constant doing and robotic-ally living. Parents having to school children at (nearly all schools closed, churches, mosques, synagogues closed) home, keep them occupied, most places quiet, streets empty, many in shock and seemingly finding  it surreal. It was a lesson for some to examine what their life is; the merry - go- round the daily grind without giving it a thought, perhaps some may see the daily round of chores are not the only reality and there is another deeper mind set and a mind set that does the daily rounds but with the observance that it does it and not just automatically, one can then begin to have breaks of awareness and witness that one does this automatically and so misses the deeper level of witnessing oneself in action.

This incessant constant doing without awareness of the doing is mindless and when one is deprived of this whirligig, one finds oneself outside the known, sometimes panic, confusion, shock and a kind of numbness and mental paralysis can be evident and one can seek the advice of experts and similar to the shock and panic on being diagnosed with a life threatening disease.  

However one can take advantage of this chaotic enforced brake on doing and find by examination that this witnessing of oneself in non action / doing-less, a sort of satisfaction, a feeling of being in charge and that the constant action was draining and living on the highs of excitement and achievement, possessions, success and rewards of material gain. There is a chance to recharge which was formerly done on holiday and that one can return to doing but with awareness and mindfulness.

For me not even going out to shop, talk to others face to face has deepened my appreciation about awareness and for me it is not lonely or boring 'but for me splendid isolation' I would prefer this and it might be apart from shopping when this over I spend even more time in this splendid gift of quietness through lock down and the sense that nature has begun recuperation and will the world of commerce, work, robotic-ally doing return to its frenzy and assault on nature?  

Maybe many would have found themselves which is merely not always doing on automatic pilot but that being which is that unbiased observer that is the witness of themselves doing and realise that witness is them and is the true being in being. 


SHACK


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