When I pray to Father / Mother God, The source of Life, Cosmic Creator and many other kind of pseudonyms, only because I cannot adequately get my head around a proper name or address to the divine being, I feel the Divine Being does not have a name as such or physical form and is not any characteristically in any sexual denomination and is gender-less.
I feel great love when I pray to the Divine in gratitude and it maybe is self deluding and self generated from my upbringing, however I feel gratitude. I feel embarrassed that I am having a love affair with God the Father or just Father so to speak and I feel I am acting out of my male gender heterosexual attitude and emotions and how can I say to the Father I love you with such tender overwhelming feelings and of course my ignorance and brain washing says 'are you sure you are hetro?, maybe you are gay and have not come out' then if I have the same feelings for the Divine Mother am I in an incest mode of behaviour.
So realising these are human expressions and programs and going into the quiet mind and that 'peace of God that passes all understanding' I begin to come away from the everyday conditioning of sexuality and not identify it with the flesh body and it's desires and realise I am in a different space and beingness, I am not my body in this space of consciousness but a consciousness temporarily residing in this physical form and so there is no embarrassment because I am relating to the Divine and feel at one at times with the Divine and so in a way loving myself,consciousness loving being conscious and alive and awareness being aware of its awareness and it becomes something wonderful and unfortunately not explainable or seemingly rational.
Probably some might say well this self induced and hyped up and just a psychological hormonal endorphin rush and just a mental manufactured facet that kicks in when one is in need of succour and has a bad day and feels rejected and is nothing more than a mind trick and fix.
Be that as it may whether or not it is self duping and a masterly ego survival ploy I stick stubbornly to my guns and say it is not mental masturbation or compensation for a lonely life and none of this will convince me that what I feel with everything I have that this is beyond the mind and is Divine Consciousness and as such is not in the realm of egoistic and brain washed conditioned explanation.
So realising these are human expressions and programs and going into the quiet mind and that 'peace of God that passes all understanding' I begin to come away from the everyday conditioning of sexuality and not identify it with the flesh body and it's desires and realise I am in a different space and beingness, I am not my body in this space of consciousness but a consciousness temporarily residing in this physical form and so there is no embarrassment because I am relating to the Divine and feel at one at times with the Divine and so in a way loving myself,consciousness loving being conscious and alive and awareness being aware of its awareness and it becomes something wonderful and unfortunately not explainable or seemingly rational.
Probably some might say well this self induced and hyped up and just a psychological hormonal endorphin rush and just a mental manufactured facet that kicks in when one is in need of succour and has a bad day and feels rejected and is nothing more than a mind trick and fix.
Be that as it may whether or not it is self duping and a masterly ego survival ploy I stick stubbornly to my guns and say it is not mental masturbation or compensation for a lonely life and none of this will convince me that what I feel with everything I have that this is beyond the mind and is Divine Consciousness and as such is not in the realm of egoistic and brain washed conditioned explanation.
SHACK
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