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| Mental and Logical |
There has to be a reason many say? Does there have to be a reason and logical explanation? To always have a reason, an explanation, an answer may provide an agreed reality and safety. To have no reason can lead one to be unsafe, unsure and have an extremely pliable and flexible identity which many may feel lost and on no safe ground.
Surely to have reason and logic in the day to day functions of modern life will be of use and ensure the smooth every day to day life in the world of the technical, scientific digital age. However just to dwell and live in technocracy and mechanical logic is to my mind only living life at a series of equations and a mathematical existence. However this may lead to an unemotional life, because emotions may not be logical and sometimes a runaway emotional life maybe as stifling as a super bound logical computer logical and ring fenced mind.
To some scientists the emotions, psychic abilities and the free mind are anathema and are like chasing rainbows. To know logically where you are, to know that you know say about academic modalities, orthodox religion, medical procedures and medicine, political agendas and the accepted perimeters of each is seemingly safe and secure and then can imprison and stultify the mind and encapsulate the mind in such a way that breeds fear of stepping to far out of its boundaries, which are its comfort zone.
Now to those on the path of mental emancipation or to seek enlightenment this imprisonment is horrific and yet even the spiritual quest of or in the mind has to live partially in the world and unless in a monastery or ashram, cave or being a hermit and off grid needs a tinge of logic and reason just for survival. The ashram and monastery have their basic routines which afford some safe physical and sustenance and the seemingly weary drudgery of every day prayers and so on may seem to some as the drudgery and weariness of the commuter, daily office and work grind.
Yet there maybe a marriage of the above; Some may through meditation and spiritual discipline and practices find themselves feeling and experiencing some sort of joy and freedom in these mundane situations either the office or monastery AND the very seemingly wearisome routines of both office and ashram provide the fuel to examine their existence in these modes of life. Why am I bound and imprisoned and feel hemmed in, after all I am earning a living although boring or even creative, why am I in this ashram, this cave, this discipline? Is there something other than this religion, this atheism, this daily grind and plod, this endless seeking for a God that is invisible, this moksha, this ananda, this satori, this samadhi, this oneness with oneness.
The dead end of retirement from work, the hobby after work or just depression and the work became the reason to live and realising the safety net of employment of money and status now ended, OK I have the money I can travel, do cruises and then wait for death either disabled with old age or can afford a nice care home or retirement home, all of these seem a finality and for what, I now realise there is no permanency. I exist in this ashram doing the endless routines or at home which is my ashram doing my meditation, reading spiritual books, endless seminars on Zoom and webinars, doing Pilates, yoga, Tai chi, Qi Gong and eating only a recommended diet with do's and don'ts the same as the boss at work would impose or some doctor or guru, where am I in all this the same drudgery and endless quest in a somewhat nebulous future and as long as the future holds the key, the promise of Satori, mental emancipation without madness and or Alzheimer's, suicide, depression and old age and its seeming limitations. Live in the now they shout and say, this moment, feel the presence, relax and breathe, Oh God what a lot of crap and shit.
So I have a reason to live, there must be a reason, isn't it? When one has a reason and wants, desires a reason, there begins a series of thoughts to establish a reason based on an assumption that that is how life is, one must have a reason to live, must we? These thoughts lead to a compilation, a logical thought train as why I live and the Universe created, this compilation becomes a identity and a reason to preserve this identity, I am a male, I have a body, I somehow was born into my parents family, took their religion, their culture and then went to be educated and I had no choice or very little, putting aside reincarnation and all that and that maybe in my parents heritage as well or some other faith or atheistic upbringing. So my identity becomes as a series of thoughts preserved as beliefs and I automatically become the champion and defender of those and reason says we all have this as human beings and so the formation of the bundle, the compact library and the name of the bundle is EGO. This bundle then aggregates and becomes one's world and reality.
Then one may feel the constriction about the above aggregates and begins to question, at first just an inexplicable unease, maybe brought about by the horror of the news, an illness a loss of job, shock or something else and one's reality becomes challenged, there can follow some sort of neurosis and this can lead to depression and this could lead to an addiction of some sort. To some this could be the stirring of the 'spirit' the soul, this could be beginning of the quest to others well this is life and one either becomes addicted and runs away from the unrest, the house that begins to feel the quake, the early rumblings of discontent.
To those that cover up this discontent with addiction or running away from this uncomfortable feeling and fear of madness, illness, suicide, depression and manufacture an illness to get the attention away from the feeling and form a reason to preserve the shambles caused by the quake, gather the remnants and rebuild the logic into some sort of former reality and beliefs, the beliefs of better to have something than nothing.
So one may realise that it takes an experiencer, a sort of witness to have woken up to this, I witness my childhood, my growing up and so on, there must have been an experiencer as a baby, me knowing I am watching TV, Life and now I realise I am an awareness, a consciousness the beliefs and all that are someone else's thoughts and ideas, I was too young to have known this, so I took them on board and now realise I was inculcated and brain washed, so the reason to have a system, a logical series in a bundle which has its own system of logic and reason to exist and defend and manipulate in extraordinary twists, configurations, denials, subtle and gross impositions on oneself and others is seen and yet so deeply embedded, so buried in the mind so as to be almost godlike and is indeed one's god and will act spontaneously and automatically react to a challenge or to Life's highways and byways without a thought, a reflex, a well trained ego response to life and its presentations.
I have seen all of this and written copiously about this and yet so deeply buried and 'logically' 'reasoned' that the challenge still brings about a loss of awareness at times and I punish myself, 'see I reacted and I should have been aware and feel guilty, I have let myself down and I start the preamble of the logic and therefore I begin a subtle identity of do's and don'ts about the identity of no identity and living in the presence of awareness becomes a reality just a nebulous as any other. This indeed is a very cunning and subtle trap.
Who said I should be in awareness, the presence and empty mind? Some fat old Buddha Monk, some old cranky Guru or because I feel free, joyous and alive when I 'touch and feel' the emptiness and impermanence of the fleeting haranguing of the invading pressure of reactive HABITUAL thoughts that seem to have a mind of their own. Indeed they do they have their energy source from the bundle, the collective beliefs and support systems that form the ego, the government and all the offices with military that ego surrounds itself and the strange thing this identity actually does not have a central core, a solid organic corporeal one, it merely hijacks the brain and the organic flesh body it has been established in by inculcation and brain washing, it is reality a mind of its own making, correction a mind of borrowed and inherited hand me downs, some generations of solid beliefs which are not solid and humanity was duped into thinking they were and so these layers of hand-me-downs of brainwashed inculcated generations are like mountains of impacted dense layers they seem impregnable and stand steadfast and stand mighty and proud against any onslaught.
Deep in itself the ego senses its frailty and vulnerability and so constantly is aware of this and quickly acts to repair any weakness or chinks in its armour, it leaps to patch and plug a leak in the dam or broken tiles, in some cases cause death of the organic host it usurped and does this by psychosomatic invasion.
What is the reason to form another reason?
SHACK
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