SHACK 183 ONLY THOUGHT

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You know that feeling when you have a disturbing dream and you cannot remember it or only part of it.  Well some thoughts can have a similar haunting residue.

I used to have a repeating voice at certain bodily sensations that said 'cancer' or a reoccurring fantasy about a family I deserted. I did have suspected cancer of the lungs and caught it in time and did natural remedies and healing, that was in 1999 and then followed with prostate suspect cancer and followed the same protocol as the lung one. 

The saboteur  voice is the voice of a very negative 'pocket' that runs through my family which my late mother and brother and now my nephew calls the Freed Curse.

I do not blame them for blame is denial and I do not blame myself although the cloud of fear sometimes 'bugs' me, especially when I am tired and stressed or if my energy levels are down due to chemtrails and a bad few days diet.  Since I have been on my 'fast' routine it has cleansed a lot of toxins from me and my senses are sharper than they have been for a long while, so if I take too much food or any additives and preservatives I get really 'off' and my body muscle and fascia memory with cellular memory click in and I am noticing that they rebel very easily if they do not get their 'fix' not to be taken for recreational drugs, I have never done them, I used to smoke cigars, roll up cigarettes and  a pipe some forty years back for about two years. So when I get knocked back by overeating as in the fast I tend to overeat when the first meal was due now I am eating even less and feel fine.  Its mainly psychological that I  have to eat more when the fast is over.

However, dealing with the cloud or fog that persists I find that meditation even when on the bus or train, washing up and so on, just letting the thoughts arise and the bodily symptoms that accompany no matter what horrors they bring 'you'll be back in hospital' 'You haven't the strength to go all through that again' ' You are not a victim of your family ethos, the world media writing about 'have you this and that symptom---it could be a sign of 'xxxx' 'Men are more reluctant to go for help---check with your GP before its too late' 'Prevention is better than cure that is if it can be cured'

So watching not letting the fear arise, be careful not to suppress, judge, analyze, push away or manipulate and you might find the mind slowly or suddenly clears and there is a softness and sometimes a joy and one realises 'oh its only a thought'.

A really persistent thought brings the worry and anxiety I am manifesting this by its constant bantering and mockery of me, is it real or is the ego just trying to regain its foothold on the slippery slope of its demise?

A test is the real you is not an anxious being and does not get disturbed-----so its up to me and you to do something about it and that mainly is nothing.

SHACK