Some
nights as I go to sleep my ego automatically turns on like a cue from a stage
prompt script. I acquire a control not
by force but by relaxing and go into the stillness, my awareness scanning my
body and relaxing with the breath. I
then feel a fantasy and an attempt to bully me out of the quietness. No way are you going into that stillness,
you’re not getting me evicted.
On
the nights when I am moderately quiet and concentrating on my breath in the
dantien and hara and then fall asleep and on waking the ego assaults me like a
demented villain or makes me feel ill, tense and frightened or a sense of
foreboding a sort of precursor to a tragedy, with me a serious or niggling
health issue, a financial deficit or hiccup and maybe a massive distraction.
Lord
how the great sages must have battled. It reminds me of the barrage that Buddha
faced under the tree and the temptation of Jesus in the Temples Nara
This is the final battle to take over the awareness and rob one of ‘be still and
know I am God within’ to cloud over the peace and tranquillity and the joy of Union with the One.
Fight
the good Fight is often quoted, however if one battles the bombardment the ego
bully one gives a back handed compliment, recognising its power and
antagonising it, if one ignores it, it fights for attention like a jealous child, so what to do?
If
possible endeavor to watch and breath, attention without intention, looking
without opinion, knowing these are but soft ware programme's and mere thoughts
and not the real you, ‘I am that, not that’ So what is that? It isn't anything of thought,
subtle feeling, and pain or suffering, it isn't a dogma or a set of rules, a
life style or a religion, cult or role model Guru---oh come on what is there
then? If there is an answer----it isn't
that either.
SHACK
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