I lie in bed wriggling and wonder about a deep and
profound mystery. I know and feel with a deep conviction that there is an
invisible powerful healing and sustaining intelligence at work in me and
everywhere. I also feel and know in the deepest recesses of my being and mind ‘
I just cannot be ill or hurt’ the doubting Thomas in me says ‘no it can’t be’.
It is then I try to analyze what does this
invisible energy awareness look like? Well obviously if it’s invisible it
cannot be seen. What is it made of? If
it’s invisible there isn't any substance, and yet it has always been there.
Yet again if it is invisible and hasn't any substance of tangible form how can
it be anywhere and then again where is where?
How can something which in effect is invisible and doesn't have substance, and no form, and nothing tangible exist? It exists because it is beyond the range of
human flesh body senses, it is like the sounds that dogs hear, the smells bear’s
sense, the eyes of the eagle, they are finer or different in wavelengths and
frequencies to the human scale and range of vibrations.
So this invisible whatever is aware intelligent
and alive in every way. It is super life. It is silent information and informs
by means of codes and signals that are able to be decoded by the human form in
order to function sequentially and bring all the organs, blood, and limbs and
so on together in harmonious coordination in a synchronous symphony necessary
for health and well being.
As this is in me and came to me as a baby before I
was indoctrinated and then conditioned with my own agenda programmes and brain
washing something like carpet covering the floor boards and I live by the carpet rules and stuff and
now I am dismantling the carpet and let the light of the invisible awareness,
the awareness being the light which is bright, vibrant fully alive and present
intelligent and all knowing to become more integrated with the light covered by
the carpet. There is always some light filtering through the carpet otherwise
life in the body would cease to be.
Then I wrack my brains searching for this me I
feel when I relax, I know and feel Its presence, but the carpet persists in
stating ‘I am the real you’ and I know intuitively and instinctively that this is the voice of the ego and is the carpet in this analogy. The carpet is a patchwork of experience and
indoctrination's and if adhered to rigidly becomes ones road map and reality.
I feel it is arrogant, egotistical and
presumptuous to claim that this silent invisible awareness and aliveness is
really me. Can I really let go of the
carpet where all my human earthly fears, doubts, frailties, failures and
successes indeed all my total life experiences, the attack and defence systems
that guard the carpet from wear and tear, fading and holes and the fight against
becoming thread bare with exposure? ‘Can I,
Can I’? Can I really, really trust this
invisible source, after all its me that heals the cut finger. Is it me as an ego I think not it is the
invisible intelligence that heals the cut finger. This invisible source assembled the cells in
differentiation, set up the fetus to the baby and so on, organises the cycles
of the Stars and Planets and takes care of all everywhere.
The carpet has a very tenacious grip, a fierce
bonding glue adhering relentlessly to the floorboards, ‘I will not be torn up or given away, such is the power of habits which are the digital pixels
of belief'.
As I lay in my bed something in my ego, my carpet
will not let me rest and lay on the floorboards so to speak, to rest on the
bare boards of simplicity, the relaxing boards are suddenly seduced by a sneaky
snake like subtle intrusive thought, a fantasy to lure me back to the
carpet. The carpet has many patterns and
inlays and attracts the hungry ego which feeds off of glamour, intrigue,
gossip, lust and craves constant adulation and attention. The temptation is at
times gross, lewd and at other times wafting, charming and gossamer butterfly
soft colourful flight.
Now the ego is being challenged not by pugnacious
effrontery but by the faint call, not in words but in feeling, this is in
deep silent invisible whispering----‘this is me, the silent invisible
awareness’ this is me I cannot go deeper than this, this is the foundation, ground
level, the pillars, zero potential, the field of Universal Consciousness and
being, and there is nowhere to go.
Dare I, Dare I claim it? After all it is who I AM.
SHACK
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