This
puzzle of who am I? I discovered that when I realise beyond my beliefs,
conditioning, programmes, agendas and many lifetimes of personal and impersonal
thoughts and fantasies assail me and travel across the screen of mind, I also
realise I am the witness, the awareness which is the space where it arises or
more like magically appears, so much like the Earth. Stars and planets
suspended in space and a silent witness marvelling at it all. Could it be that is why humans are so
fascinated by space, how it and the forms therein arose and space itself and
its dynamic nature of potential and apparent nothingness so to speak.
So
I am space and an invisible something, and so not being tangible to human
bodily senses, what does the witness awareness feel like; love, compassion,
sharing, freedom, joy, and yet a strange comfortable kind of emptiness and not
having any definable quality or sense of human senses, and yet it feels all and
is not aligned or connected to any forms. It feels and is sentient in its own right
and yet feels this is the source, the foundation, a sort of base and yet not a definable structure and further more there remains the mystery of how am I aware
of my awareness and as there is nothing more to probe, quest, search and there
seems to be no solution or answer as to my origin and it seems when I cease to
fathom myself and accept myself as a being without explanation, I rest in the
search for myself as a being without explanation and kind of rest in the
feeling of not investigating further, for this seems to be the end of the road,
and when the restless mind exhausts itself of the mystery of itself, then
ambition, technology, acquisition and power subsides, then one can rest in
oneself, which is the sense of being, being aware of itself as being and is
content to exist without explanation and accept the paradox, the koan and
riddle of god, big bang, creation and rest in ‘I am that and that is who and
what I am’
SHACK
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