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In my life from November 7th 1938 till now APRIL 13th 2021 there had been key points not only of physical illness and severe unease due to circumstances causing stress and panic attacks. However there are another series that I name as significant shifts in my world view.
The first of these was a NDE in 1944 and puzzled me for many years and I remember the Being in the scenario and the light and the ball that was the Earth and not wanting to come to this ball. Over the years I thought that the Being maybe my twin that never survived, I was told this by my Aunt Milly, or was it a past life being or a spiritual guide or part of a twin identical soul. Then as I got the 1967 writings I felt I was born to a mission and on teaching Judo, Kendo and Meditation and later Tai Chi and Qi Gong, presenting workshops, healing sessions and clinics I felt this might be and then just before all this which may have had a huge influence in my life and the first radical shift. I feel now that the NDE was simply to overcome those aspects of my persona as in later paragraphs.
I was given a Koan and I have relayed this many times; the effect was startling when it came to its climax; the Koan tormented me and on that morning when the 'intuitive spontaneous' flash arrive in a nano,nano instant it shattered my known world view, I cannot go further than that, something blasted and altered my neuronal pathways and connections. Although I had to go to work as an apprentice Electrician I could not relate to anything worldly and I did not fit in with my colleagues or anybody else. This caused all sorts of problems; I could not relate to girlfriends, sex, money, war, evil and darkness of spirit, I was a misfit and along with childhood and parents splitting up and so on it was a very unhappy time and dilemma.
I then took to very earnest meditation as there was a void and discrepancy between the 'normal world agreed world ethos' and my view and another shattering event was the breaking of the oak, the Maharishi, Sensei and Sifu who guided me spiritually from the astral to the real deal. All these related in earlier articles.
Then a sort of doom and chaos set in and I could not deal with this void and stopped meditation and tried to form and fill the gap with my own will and agendas and then out of the blue I gave up all and everything and moved to Minorca and the wild and emptiness and nearly went crazy with the lack of everything and the primitive conditions.
The next episode was three
visits to Samye Ling(on the third visit I got to the gate and like a large invisible hand that was on my hand blocked me and I could not even open the gate and I realised this was like the Judo and so on. It was an end to that energy and like all the others I never missed it or went back, it had been erased from my mind, there seemed to be even a complete erasure. There were three to Findhorn and the three sabbaticals from work
and the transition to Forensics. What really was behind these drastic changes?;
mostly the minor transits were changes of job and locations with homes, they
were dramatic but not a shift in consciousness. Findhorn, Samye Ling, Minorca,
Canada and travelling UK and Europe, the workshops and all m relationships
with Jean Joseph, Susan Joseph, Gilly Wells, Samantha Horrocks, Geraldine Roseaux, Carol Elvy and minor ones with Greta. Friendships and teacher to Roger
Russell, Richard Torns, Arnold Pezarro the friend who took over all my Judo
David Macintosh, My Mentors Doreen and Roy Morris, Kenshiro Abbe 8th Dan, Gunji
Koizumi 8th Dan, Matsuro Otani 7th Dan Tomio Otani 3rd Dan Kendo were definitely high lights but none
shitted my 'reality' as did the NDE which has caused me to ponder that 'other
reality as distinct from Earth and its apparent solidity and I disliked and
hated the the concrete 'thickness' of Earth as is in distinction to the etheric
dreamlike NDE and wanting to go back there and not afraid of death but more
afraid of being bound forever in this cocoon of the flesh body and its
seemingly inescapable hold and its limited form. Oh the relief in meditation
and some fantasies.
The sudden realisation of 'walking away from Judo' and the Giving up of all workshops, healings, the stopping of teaching meditation, teaching Tai Chi and Qi Gong, all left a hiatus and this latest one the blogs and even a reluctance to this writing.
All of the significant shift events that caused the shifts were; NDE, Koan and now the latest The Quantum Stuff. The NDE an ongoing scenario and caused doubt over this incarnation, bollocked by NDE, Shattered by the KOAN and Fucked by the Quantum Stuff.
When the three events occurred there was a period of chaos as distinct from fear and anxiety and panic. There was a void, a blank and sense of just not trying to put things together and make sense using my will to do a psychotherapy on me which I had done on the lesser events although traumatic did not bring in this intuitive sense leave it ALONE, DON'T interfere there is some thing deeper as it were going on.
There is a theory by a scientist Ilya Prigogine which I have cheekily adapted to my view; when an organic being lives, it eats food, ingests ideas and excretes waste, breath exchange, there is an exchange with the environment, if this exchange works well according to the natural laws that guide life at this level, there comes a time when the organism gets full to its capacity and needs to enlarge itself; a snake to shed its skin, a crab its carapace, a caterpillar to the chrysalis and then butterfly, the human and animals, plants and so on, have this urge to grow in incremental stages. Now at the point where the snake sheds its skin, the crab its carapace and the caterpillar enters its chrysalis there is a suspension of the previous form and as it goes through its transition it is vulnerable and in chaos until the new form which should be larger and exchange more with the environment takes place, it is IMPORTANT for nature to implement the change and not the human will. Nature does it naturally if there is no interference from human humans or a natural disaster. It is here that humans differ or domesticated animals and plant life. By human inculcation we humans feel and think we may know better than nature, especially among some academics who get into Darwinism, Creative Design, Intelligent Design, Creationism and God.
A bible saying 'I of myself am nothing, It is God that doeth the works' The Kingdom of Heaven is within, first seek this Kingdom and all will done for you' Consider the Lilies of the field they toil not neither do they spin' The Monk story I tell about the migrations and when returning 'I did nothing to make it happen'.
Should one be able to naturally suspend the tendency to interfere with a natural process and I feel the five extinctions and the feeling of an imminent sixth because the Earth and its habitants are full of old patterns and accumulated dross and many have not exchanged wisely with the environment and in this period of the so called Covid -19 Pandemic when all forms of life seem outdated and stagnant the world Authorities' want to RESET and probably deliberately want this and PROMOTE there NEW WORLD ODER which by technocracy, eugenics, transhumanism, cyborgism and dystopia is ignoring the natural function OR are they? Because this latest SHIFT in me and my own chaos has brought about by the ongoing crisis that I feel I am right doing the blogs and exposing their complicity and I am imposing my will and saying they are greedy, paranoiac, psychopaths, sociopaths and immoral tyrants and so on and I am questioning my blogs www.geofffreed.com (online) and I find I am just as judgemental, hypocritical and although I have known this all along it has shifted from an intellectual understanding and some denial to full awakening 'I am just like them' and I am causing a them and us and maybe this is the way the world needs to go and so on.
The Quantum Stuff is still percolating; The empty atom and here am I, the brainwashing and inculcation and there is no reality in brain washed mental constructs, there is no reality only what your beliefs dictate, beliefs are interchangeable and swappable, many are fixed and cannot see any alternatives or rather fear change about them and brings insecurity and yet at BASE so to speak there is 10% of fuck all, if that. So what have I now? Nothing but the seeming chaos of having nothing and fading fast and emptying the larder and attic, the jigsaw picture of my so call perceived reality tumbling fast, causing instability, uncertainty and KNOWING DEEPLY let it alone let it do its thing. Let Go live and accept chaos and hopefully but and not even hoping just an innate knowing that I am a creation, a child of the Universe and chaos is meant to be and is indeed a staging post, a respite although more a suspension of the 'norm' indeed a breakdown of the norm if there is ever a norm, perhaps the norm is based on conditioned brain washed beliefs which are just hand me downs, yesterdays clothing in charity shops and exist only as mind constructs but have no reality only an imagined one. After all there the so called elite are falling into the trap that are real and forever, all systems, epochs, dominions come and go and will decay and fall into disarray and chaos, so chaos is the matrix of birth and death, in fact no birth or death just a recycling of the old outworn to a newer larger or finer smaller update and reconfiguration. The apoptosis and to autophagy, then the sort of dead cell debris as it were as fertiliser and the mitophagy. auto mitophagy and so on.
So being fucked by the Quantum Stuff and there aint no reality nothing at all, what's all the bother about then?.
SHACK
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