SHACK 1020 HURRY

Barking Up The Wrong Tree

Sometimes on odd occasions I get this urge; sometimes when I am just getting out of sleep, read something, saw something or from meditation or just doing mundane chores and really not focussing and just being as it were I get a 'rush' a huge energy, I must write it down, hurry before you forget it, scribble, no type, repeat it just a small seed a flash, you need to expand it, write it down.

It's as if by writing down it will liberate me, break long standing habits and inculcation and it feels so liberating and refreshing and yet tiring as I spend a long time so it seems at the keyboard and my one finger typing and dyslexia make it laborious yet satisfying and fulfilling.

Although at the time it feels so liberating and a feeling of some sort of completion and closure, the old cloud of habit returns and yet there is a subtle difference and the grasp is less powerful and I feel I have a wriggling space and the grip is loosened slightly. I am reminded not to set or anticipate this as the ego will sense a freedom from its grip and send the saboteur in, in such a way as a masked disguised mock up of an old enemy. 

Then there is a hurry or rush to get out shopping or bus ride, it feels so good I can hardly get dressed quickly enough and sometimes ignoring washing or drinking a tea or something and all routines torn aside with great haste and gusto. There is something waiting for me I do not know what and I feel this future event will bring some sort of liberation or synchronicity that will liberate me. 

Going away to a new location or this sense that the future will hold my liberation, it will be there when I arrive can be a subtle trap; for my habits, beliefs and routines, my hang ups travel with me, they are mind bound and of course translate psychosomatically so I only travel as it were physically and to perhaps new surroundings but in mind as it were I have travelled nowhere. 

Perhaps for a while I feel liberated and I may have made a make over and then realise it is a variation on a theme and then the old nostalgia and haunting ghost returns, the old clouds and the old confinements and limits, the old ties that bind. I make new resolutions and resolutions not to make resolutions and I promise I will not plan so much and then do so is there a way to break free?.

Perhaps I only travel in my mind as it were and I have often said as an Astronaut travelling to Mars or Jupiter one only experiences this in ones mind and the vehicle is the body, the experiencer is the witness consciousness and awareness. So the mind emptied of all content, not by repression, suppression or wilful endeavour but a silent awareness of the content with attention without intention, awareness without bias brings one to the 'empty still quiet mind' which devoid of CONTENT IS THE NOW.  

For it is the content of the mind which are thoughts, the internal dialogue, the incessant mind chatter, the day dreams and fantasies, the internal cinema, the cameos and scenarios, the tapestries, the glamour's, the emotional highs and lows that appear to be real and are mere brain washed hand me downs and modified to seemingly be original and creative and at most a new drama and history repeating itself and hoping to fool the self in a deluded attempt at original fresh creative effort. 

No amount of tinkering and juxtaposing, configuring, upgrading and make overs will suffice and bring peace, the opposite may hold some evidence. The past has no solution, it is gone and is a vague impression, the future is usually a remake, a new eversion of the past, so there never is a future, just a rehash and for a while some mere satisfaction and like a new toy, once the novelty is over, the same old, same old returns, the past is gone and is stale, jaded and gone and trying to get hold of the satisfaction of the old joys and drown the sorrows merely take one down memory lane and that will hold one in a grip of emotional bondage and liberation will  be caught in the net of yesterday and tomorrow never arrives because the memories and habits bind one to the yesterday of the past and the future is merely an imaginary one. 

The emotions are summoned up from the memory banks in an effort to feel the emotions, the live raw events of the past and so satisfy the ego and remind it, it is here and always now and yet it knows it lives in a dead theatre with itself as the audience and craves a new bright drama and so a history is created which is a witness to its being and life and yet knowing it is a figment of imaginary experiences and consequences.   

So where do I hurry too; what destination on the Earth or the Universe will ultimately fulfil me, my aching soul wants peace yet the allurement and seduction of new places and exploration beckon me on only to fade when I run out of new places and vistas, like today many look for new thrills, either with drugs, films, sexual encounters, conquering the heights and depths and eventually new places in space, eventually realising these are places of the material of world and are forms that can be beautiful, enchanting and seemingly fulfilling and yet like the art collector who is looking for a new objet d'art soon may run out of acquisitions and content themselves with just looking and admiring and caught in the alluring dream of material fulfilment. 

And when examining the material aspect of things the world may fall apart; all material things decay, their very atomic nature declares the fading and dying and returning to the infinity where they were born, for what is born is bound to death, their very appearance is a brief experience in space and when it arrives in the hologram of space its appearance is marked as time and so time is a material marker of human time and the life of this experience is the life of the form and is a period and epoch and its disappearance a death of the form back to timelessness. The nature of the atom is emptiness and at most an untidy dash of something in the quantum realm and so it for humans and the Universe, a mere dash, a flash of inspiration which says hurry to a new exciting anticipation of the future and then gone and when this is gone only the silent quiet peaceful mind remains and one has found solace in the nothingness of peace and empty space and all is empty and yet fulfilling. 

So what's the rush then?.

SHACK

Life and Whim
Really----what happens when you get there?(SHACK)