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Crazy Frog TV

An energy build up, a sort of pressure inside my head and it can feel very insistent. At first years back I used to feel that my brain and head were being squeezed in a vice or clamp, and then had a tight headband and all sorts of ideas and fears came and went. Was it a brain tumour, high blood pressure, growing or shrinking pains, was it the New Age Ascension symptoms?

My dear late friend Roy Morris often said that if one meditated like with awareness (nowadays referred too as mindfulness) as in distinction to breath watching or mantra and so on and even watching and allowing the sexual energy to be rampant without sexual intercourse or masturbation, then one builds up a measure of pressure and like a pressure cooker ready to let off steam through the pressure valve. He  recommended that one sort of 'holds this pressure' as it were and keeps it there and not to get into sport, workouts or release stuff and to the point where you feel you are going crazy or mad.

Of course one has to be in touch with the body awareness and not damage oneself through a heart or some accident or such like, however it was, he said a way to 'burn through fear, limits and use the energy and this build up to bust out of hang ups and limitations'.

One has to keep an eye out for food binging or too much fasting. The sensations are interesting as are the insights; of course madness and being on the edge are very dominant especially as one gets deeper and longer into the process. Then the worry that one can damage oneself and of course all the doubts and reasons of this sort of thing, is it weird, why do this and yet there is with me this feeling to 'explode' out of this old regime and the not so merry- go- round of mundane routine and living.

Of course this was the idea to bust out of the prison of the 'norm' and go to 'places or no places' in the mind, I had in meditation that 'I was leaving' my my mind / head and it was gentle and I realised I was not going anywhere but my normal 'attentive awareness of everyday day routines and activities awareness' shifted from the 'screen' and this often went past the random thoughts and mind occupation to a 'blank light screen' which was peaceful, calm and light. It was like the  ego slid to the side or somewhere, the programmes and agendas suspended naturally and as if a shutter or slow theatre curtain lifted and the stage was bare but alight and gorgeously serene and peaceful.

 

So why do the build up; it seems at times there is so much going on and especially at world crisis times that I could not get into the meditative process and was restless and distracted and so this way of letting the restlessness be there and let it be restless and sometimes accompanied by sleep difficulties, political intrigue, joint aches, fatigue and difficulty in doing or seeking the choices to alleviate this period of unrest and a sort of chaos which I regard as the 'snake shedding the skin, the crab the carapace, the caterpillar to the butterfly and the Prigogine process I have written about' this chaos is the 'silent reorganisation' to higher form or at least a different form or mind set or lack of mind set, less pedantic or rigid, so I have a feeling that in the depths of the mind which I relate as the unconscious cellar, something is stirring up the caked rusty glutinous debris of impacted old mind patterns and our scouring is needed to loosen and bring this to the surface and be recognised and discarded by the cognition of its sell by date well gone by and it is no longer a use to the present situations.

What then is the scouring agent; perhaps a high pressure hose pipe or a steam pipe might be more appropriate. For me and my early NDE, Koan breakthrough and Quantum realisation, the 1967 writings, I realised there was another dimension to life than the brain washed inculcated life that most people led and this set in motion the QUEST to delve, search, ruminate into the areas of the mind and if possible seek some sort of enlightenment, not a static stuck mind only to get some sort of peace by listening to soft haunting romantic music, chanting endless mantras although these(as long as one does not get addicted to the techniques and make a habit and thereby a false reality and this 'stuck standstill' taken for a sort of peace and compromise for the dynamic peace)these can be steps on the path but needing a natural reminder to not get stuck on a particular nasty step and recoil or fall in love with a very attractive one, always upwards and yonder. 

This natural steam jet is an intelligent energy and is the evolutionary 'urge' to move things on and if it is clouded by or supressed by unevolutionary urges such as brain washing then this can lead to illness and malfunctions of all sorts. However these natural urges facilitate growth of all sorts and it may be that the body grows in its natural form and can be impeded by mind sets that do not compliment its natural growth and this can be the psychosomatic, neuropeptide cascade and the psychoneuroimmunology-ical effect that changes through mind patterns the natural order.

So the main effect I feel more often now is that an real deep urge to let go of all patterns and not just be aware of awareness and I feel like I am expanding, a joy ripples through me as at the time a fear of letting go and being absurdly wild like the crazy frog above, the utter natural letting go without the brakes on, the fear of being mad, crazy and locked up and restrained AND yet I know that because it is natural it is not just unrestrained ego urges just working out their madness's of a power hungry beast that has broken free and needs restraining for the damage it might do to humanity and the planet.

SHACK