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Guilt is the ego's employment tactics in order to keep itself intact and thriving. The ego is no more than a brainwashed, inculcated conditioned set of programmes and agendas which have become our reality, truth and indisputable God and Ten Commandments. One thinks this is me and so real is the delusion one just goes about one's business and probably never deeply questions who is this me. Who am I?
As a child most of us are told that to get love and approval we have to be 'good little children and be seen and not heard' if not you get a smack, stern look, no rewards, go to your room and stay there or some such other thing' one has to win approval in order to validate who we are, I have to conform to these commandments or approval is not forthcoming. We are not loved for ourselves but for our compliance.
Guilt then becomes a means to control because if I do not obey I do not get approval and then if I do not get approval there must be something wrong with me, I am not worthy to be loved, I am not obeying after all my parents, peers, family and friends know best and so the seeds of self doubt, lack of self worth and confidence are shaken and planted and of course we are taught to not be selfish and think of others and not yourself and so not doing one's duty as a child, or friend causes this lack of self worth to deepen with a further erosion of self esteem, we then become a victim because if we do not feel guilty we are not obeying and doing our duty.
Guilt is the replay button on the record player, guilt always locks one into the past, so the future is always a rehash or a make over, a variation on a theme of the past, there is no future and that is why the same old mistakes and hang ups keep repeating themselves like the saboteur, the hidden fear lurking in the dark alley ready to stab one in the back. I must obey or punishment will ensue.
When one is born and even in the womb the foetus picks up feelings which it is not able to process or discern it is indelibly imprinted in the psyche and then on birth the inculcation and brain washing progresses and usually one just carries on with the traditions, culture, social status, religion, politics and one dares not to stray too much or it feels dangerous and so fear creeps in which is the superglue that keeps the ego together and guilt makes sure that 'you do your duty or else punishment of some sort ensues and guilt makes one obey the ego'.
One can take for granted and never question ones culture, religion and way of life, one may vaguely question and not go to deep as the TV, work, marriage, relationships, success, failure seem so natural and illness, joy, failure and the gamut of life seems generally with a few modifications in other countries and traditions a sort of a general rule of thumb and of course fear, doubt and guilt play their role in an accepted human condition.
Something may happen to awaken the reality as one perceives it; I may realise that I follow my parents or other authorities ideas and constructs and others follow different values and traditions. I begin to realise I am a set of mind constructs that have been handed down to me, I am not me but someone else's ideas, I have been taught to be me, I am someone else's second hand clothes, I am brainwashed, so who am I really?.
Then the real shock kicks in; then what is reality? I begin to realise that mind ideas and constructs form my beliefs and these beliefs are hand me downs like genetics, so what is reality?. It seems reality is swappable, it is a moving event and experience, a moving pavement and the only thing that keeps me to this set of beliefs, concepts and ideas is guilt and fear. Guilt glues me to the past and the past is the ego and the known. If I break with the known, the past, my ego and then ego takes the role of parents and life, it is God, I feel fearful and must obey and do my duty, I am leaving the known and safety and this I will be punished for as I am a naughty person and not complying to the fastidious rigid rule of self imposed discipline and the imagined me. If I do not put others before me I am selfish and not a good person, who will love me and give me the approval that I seek, the safety of feeling loved but 'hang on a minute' is approval love'?
The ego which is at best actually not real in the sense it is a conglomerate, a cake mix, a coalescing of ideas, concepts and idioms and are not real as such but are mere figments of mind which by inculcation can be upgraded reconfigured and be a completely different mind set, the ego MUST always be right even if it is to punish itself for it has learnt that from birth it must comply and if not approval and love will not be forthcoming and realising in later life it has expected to be punished by feeling guilty and other punitive measures and lack of self esteem and worth are natural and this is what it expects and lives for because the known is safe no matter how abject it maybe or the opposite. The ego which is a bundle of ideas held together by fear and guilt is the known and therefore the assumed reality.
Then what is reality?; who is this 'I if this I' is only a set of beliefs and ideas hand me downs, inherited thought. Is there indeed any such thing as reality? Who am I when all concepts have gone, not repressed, judged made excuses for not being 'there' can I live with this nakedness, this presumed emptiness, this emptiness the Buddha and Eastern philosophy talks about. Zen asks 'Who was I before I was born? 'Show me your original Face' ' What is the sound of one hand clapping?, then to the now and the fact that atoms are 99.99% empty and the madness and trauma the early physicists went through when they witnessed reality is not there and we are not either at a deep level, in the observer effect they found that consciousness influenced matter and if it is all an illusion and the magicians trick is deception and illusion then there is no reality and when one feels this where is guilt and fear then? However guilt and fear will seduce and lure one back to the old safe known.
Then the wheel falls off so to speak; If there is no such thing as reality how come I am here and the Universe? The creator of the Universe is invisible and is consciousness without form and like the ego needs to affirm itself and say to itself I am here, I AM, so it creates a Universe in form, so called tangible, so by its creation, like the potter and the pot, so the potters affirms their reality by the pot, I made this this, therefore I exist. God made the Universe and by God's creation finds Itself in form. The ego (religions tell us we are built in God's image) so likewise the ego makes its pot through tradition and brain washing and this is GOD to us, we make a false GOD through brainwashed hand me downs, taught to be religious, pious or otherwise and we make our commandments and feel guilty if we break our own self imposed rules.
When we see the nature of reality is really a mind imagined conjured up set of mind constructs as the quantum realm depicts we are left at first in dilemma; we feel the magnetic pull of the known a mind construct safety zone and foundation and at the same time know it is literally 'all in the mind' and all that is the mind can be swapped and reconfigured, yet the habit and conditioning over the years has so convinced us that this is reality, solid and forever, that we feel guilty to abandon ship and save ourselves and put others in the life raft first because we are nasty little non caring people, where's your compassion, give your seat up to the old person on the bus, what!!! you took the last piece of cake, you should be ashamed of yourself, I hope you can live with that and so on, you must be like me, I know what's best for you(my way of life is right and proper, the right foods, prayers and life style, follow me says the priest, the chief medical officer, the guru, the health professional with herbs and so on) and the more you fight the ego with meditation, self growth techniques, suppression, repression so the battle commences and these bring up the hidden deep unconscious automatic reactions, the guilt, the fear the justification, the justification which affirms the very core of the ego that will defend itself even to death and then the remorse and then the self loathing and then to run way into distraction with TV, sex, alcohol, drugs anything in order to get away from this feeling of not being approved of and how dare they do this to me or disagree with me and who is this me anyway?
Is there a way out of this whirligig, this hamsters wheel, this merry go round, this wheel of dharma; just stay with what comes up and not give it energy by examining it and analysing it, know that one feels it and watch and wait; attention without intention, looking without bias, viewing without opinion, letting go naturally, not doing, not anything and if one is able to do this like a cat at a mousehole, a driver on a winding narrow country road and unable to see an approaching vehicle, one feels alive, aware, there in the moment, an anticipation of nothing but everything, then the mind realises that it has gone quiet and not asleep and thoughts and feelings have subsided naturally and there is quietness, peace and the one realises all this guilt and anxiety were mere thoughts that evoked emotions which were never really real and were just that and have no real power over me and were just fleeting clouds that obscured the real Self which has no reality or description and yet!!!!!!?
SHACK
Even just reminding oneself to witness in way is routine and mind games, yet with the fullness of time(time is measured between thoughts and forms) this will become natural and not need effort as one realises I am the witness not the experience, I am the watcher of the TV programme and the programmes are ego constructs. Should I get involved with the TV?(SHACK)
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