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While I was in a romantic fantasy I felt the feeling as it were and then detached it from the fantasy scenario. This was highly significant because sometimes my inner peace is spontaneously shattered or appeased for the ego's sake and my awareness and relaxed peace is exited and I am led away into distraction.
It was nice to feel without imagery. The imagery somewhat dilutes the feeling and the satisfaction of the feeling looses its original intent or power. The imagery is a previous life experience or an ego unfulfilled accomplishment and really living in the past, the feeling with emotion as it were is just a feeling and the imagery embellishes and flares it up into sometimes a 'shark like eating frenzy' and makes the distraction from the reality of the now into a drama that can be lengthy. The ego feeds on drama and the history of itself.
It as if the ego was dragging the awareness of the now into the past and draining vital energy and the years gone by and the sadness of the imagery not being tangible in human form and not just memory. There is a definite ache 'for loves lost' by the fact of yearning to have a wife, kids and a loving extended family and one the fantasy is that I have all these and I am an orphan or have no parents and my in-laws are loving and or I am the super hero, always there is a tinge of sadness of what might have been and yet realising that clinging to them only brings loss when death pays a visit, only to resist it at the death bed.
Yet I have this deep sense that as appealing as the scenarios are the end is sadness as death, old age and senility and feebleness take their toll in their role and journey that is human life. I have deep compassion for those pursuing at the very end a dream and that's all it really was and wishing they had more years and it was too late, perhaps the wish for reincarnation.
One could say that I could have enjoyed these realising as I do the impermanence of human fragility and achievement and the loss of of once held cherished possessions, relationships and love of another and just enjoyed the time they lasted, yet there is always the danger that one can be seduced and become enmeshed and trapped and that the impermanence and transitory nature of the Earthly human existence if fully submerged in, can bring the loss and then the sadness and can bring about the death, the urge so powerful to reincarnate not for only forgiveness about unfinished business but the actual pleasure to be revisited. The idea of reincarnation and regurgitation as it were from a spiritual, if you like point of view, is that in one of these revisits one tires not through boredom or loss of sensation but through the realisation these are just interludes, the same old, same old and they do not hold their lure and indeed one may realise that they are illusionary and delusionary and only the coming and going promotes this sadness at their loss and ever running after new variations, new makeovers, new and creative themes to the old car repainted and updated, reconfigured and all else.
Furthermore by the desire of these wordily accomplishments and the applause and ego boosting thrill of importance and power this can be addictive or lead to addiction and habits that are difficult to break or indeed one may wish to break or so lost this becomes an embedded reality and no other is wanted, needed or even crosses the the mind as a possibility and the concrete nature of this embedded reality even if a disaster shakes one up may not be enough to shatter the dream of permanence and immortality. One comes back from the brink and resumes the old that may have been the cause of the disaster.
So I felt deeply this feeling of impermanence, ever since my NDE in 1942, it has grown from not wanting to come to this ball I saw till even now in my 83 year in September 2022 awaiting November 7 2022 and 84.
This feeling as I grew urged me on and now I understand in hindsight why I never could do what other kids did, yes I did these things but somehow they were always sour. I did not why? As a psychotherapist and counsellor I can say all the usual childhood stuff which I have written in Shacks gone by, yet this seemed hollow now as I realised my intellectual understanding through quantum stuff, Buddhist and yes Christian with Eastern philosophy especially the sayings of Buddha and Jesus not the religious dogma and the Jewish faith I was taught and said to be born into as I feel we are naked of everything at immediate birth and in the womb apart from latent impressions from previous incarnations or just mothers and environmental impressions imprinted into the nervous system of the embryo, I feel we are taught to be who we are, in fact brain washed, inculcated and so we dream some else's idea and life styles until we wake up or not and that can be such a jolt as to loosen the bonds, ties and ligaments and cracks appear in the concrete facade.
Now I can see how over the years my apparent shyness, not wanting romantic or sexual entanglement and yet pursuing these at times left something out, also when driving through beautiful places such as mountains, forest, beaches and the like I could not drool over these or fully imbibe these feelings as many did, there was always a tinge of sadness and regret and now I realised these were all impermanent, transitory and they lacked the joy of enjoyment without attachment and one day all of us would have to leave this behind and go for some pastures new and for other a return to the former realities of permanence which really does not exist.
Furthermore I realise that my soul my inner being that resides everywhere and in an encapsulated cocoon in this fleshly wonder which in itself depicts the decay and impermanence and those through cyborgism, eugenics and transhumanism with technocracy and genetic manipulation wish to promote and encourage the same 'me and you' into a robot brain and cyborg body, us walking about in a synthetic body, organs and limbs and our minds as it were and going on for a vast number of years and there by enjoying the bounties of human life forever so it would seem.
However as I type this and in consideration as to the above I have another sense or 'peeping' feeling; I feel especially at this moment that certain aspects about the SHACK writings have been an unfolding.
The last three years have been such mementoes occasions, events and a complete upheaval and overwhelming as to some depression, madness and suicidal with monstrous crimes and wars and space flights to the ISS and companies building space craft also a bunch of people I call the cabal that want to rebuild the world and indeed shape the world's ethos into their liking and challenging them is not allowed and the media have been captured and manipulated and by the brain washing and inculcation ( I feel the dictionary explanation is definitive ' the act of inculcating, or teaching or influencing persistently and repeatedly so as to implant or instill an idea, theory, attitude, etc.') this is accomplished through the change in education with things like 'woke, transhumanism, cancel culture, political correctness and the like and a swing to anything goes as long as it is in the parameters of the aforesaid. There is a sort 'mind battle' some persons of extreme wealth have put forward their idea of a new world order such as at this time, Elon Musk and brain Implants and technology in space, Bill Gates with meatless meat and vaccinations, World Economic Forum and Klaus Swab and then various others, plus Russia and China and the BRICS pulling the other way and many more clique's, coteries and factions all vying for their pitch.
Perhaps this presenting on the surface so to speak, like a rash or disease with an underlying cause psychosomatic psychological emotional aberration that the actual Cosmic Evolutionary Plan as it were, the Unconscious Universal Psyche, the Divine Will played out as evolution and the records of the Five Mass Extinctions, is sending these silent signals and information through the unconscious consciousness deep within the human psyche and buried deep through inculcation and gently seeping through the cracks in the egos armour and many feeling this stirring and putting them on alert 'that something is not quite right and out of alignment' and wanting things to go back to 'normal' and having seen the world 'breaking down' religiously, politically, climatically and a ferocious breakdown in law and order and political uprising protests and bloody encounters. Many are walking about and living with a quiet tenseness and unease.
Is this the Universe silently saying to all;these old patterns of dominance and thinking, selfish attitudes, material possessions which mould and decay, the impermanence of materialism, the sell by date is long past and the food after this date will rot and stink. Is the human form needing a upgrade not by cyborgs, robots, synthetics but by nature. Fighting this and reluctance to change naturally will bring more pain and disillusionment. There is no going back and human endeavour to bring about a new world order will bring doom and dismay and chaos.
So maybe Woke, Cancel Culture are the outward signs of restlessness and discontent and the limited human minds attempt at reform and reconfiguration and a protest at the limits the mind feels and attempts by logic and academic forays into seeking the meaning of Life and getting so off target. Technology will only produce the product of technology and not reveal the will or evolutionary plan only their limited view of it all.
So, I have this feeling of a stirring and upheaval in me, my limited concepts, my outbursts of impatience at the lack of foresight and my burning vision of a spiritual awakening which will herald in a new human upgraded by nature, a harbinger of world peace. Yes I feel these things and the precursor to this was my NDE and the '1967' writings which my blogs www.geofffreedarchives.blogspot.com www.geofffreed.com (online and of course this site www.shackisback.blogspot.com (co.uk -online).
I now await what years I have left if indeed I even reach two months from now. The New Way will arrive be it 2075 or 3075, nature is patient and research will show that Nature although seemingly wiped out will regrow Itself and no number of mass extinctions be it Human made or natures will, will stop it, indeed it will only promote the luxury of a New Way and its glory.
SHACK
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