F-F INFO
As a traveler through life's highways and byways always metaphorically speaking carrying my back pack or the famous Dick Whittington stick and bag and sometimes depicted in the Zen Ten Ox herding or Bull Taming Pictures, with picture ten it shows the stick and bag and returning to the Town in some versions.
Many have commented that I seem vague, listless not in the sense of restlessness, nowhere to settle physically, yet settling mentally. This seems to annoy or fascinate many, for they are hype or just continually doing even if not physically able. They say you have no ambition, you must be depressed, sad, lonely and yet when told this is not so, many shake their head and walk away in disbelief or think me a liar or in denial. Some have attacked me and then said they envy my complacency, to be told this is not complacency but peace of mind.
For me I view them with compassion not in arrogance and oneupmanship or superiority. The noise of the pubs, the music, the incessant TV blurring vision with it's high definition colors. I used to question why parties are not my thing, drinks, noise, hysteria people talking small talk, then rushing off when they are bored with you to someone else. The superficiality of it all. Being important, look at me, getting applause to boost the ego.
This is the point the superficiality, its just temporary and this becomes addictive as it pleases the senses with emotional highs and then there is a clamoring for more to satisfy the beast with dripping jowls of rapacious spittle dribbling from its tongue and fiery eyes for ----more----more, and never satiated. Power and acquisitiveness fed by the technology of the day.
For me perhaps being a misfit it just feels unreal, not lasting, a dream. Even this beautiful flesh body we have been blessed with is ever changing in the midst of times gone bye and to come, ever changing day to day, year by year.
I live somewhat in a daze, bewildered by the madness of pursuit with that which perishes and is here today and gone tomorrow, which because of its frailty and shelf life, breeds the seeds of desire to make it permanent so causes the race and feverishness of the brow and palpitations for more. So desire to satisfy the temporal senses causes a chain reaction, a veritable nuclear reaction for the acquisitiveness to feed on, a self perpetuating hierarchy of consumerism, greed and unsustainable burden on Nature. What happens when it all runs out?
Then the ugly side of humanity might reveal itself as the survival of the fittest, and the wealthiest overpower those less fortunate.
Realizing this not only intellectually and logically which hurts or pricks the conscience and even deeper felt at a heart and essence strata as if the Spirit of nature is calling one, or is one with one, there is a yearning in one to reach out and implore those to stop the madness of selfish hoarding as a means of security. Yes maybe security for a while. Yet too much security breeds inactivity, staleness and boredom. Creativity sometimes needs challenge and uncomfortable situations.
So feeling this other side of Life I wonder about in some sort of half astounding wonder, a kind of unbelievable technical supermarket online world, cell phone and gizmo's galore. Where do I fit in, I am neither here nor there. Noise seems to be the 'thing' to drown out the race towards death and ill health, to distract one from fundamental real facts----who am I-------what is my purpose----too hard --- what holidays are there, what gadgets are new, what's on the telly, what sport is on, and so on. Am I in the fashion.
This yearning sears into me and I become a hermit in the town where I live or in the wild where I sojourn and yet loneliness does not touch the essence of my living although being alone.
Many have commented that I seem vague, listless not in the sense of restlessness, nowhere to settle physically, yet settling mentally. This seems to annoy or fascinate many, for they are hype or just continually doing even if not physically able. They say you have no ambition, you must be depressed, sad, lonely and yet when told this is not so, many shake their head and walk away in disbelief or think me a liar or in denial. Some have attacked me and then said they envy my complacency, to be told this is not complacency but peace of mind.
For me I view them with compassion not in arrogance and oneupmanship or superiority. The noise of the pubs, the music, the incessant TV blurring vision with it's high definition colors. I used to question why parties are not my thing, drinks, noise, hysteria people talking small talk, then rushing off when they are bored with you to someone else. The superficiality of it all. Being important, look at me, getting applause to boost the ego.
This is the point the superficiality, its just temporary and this becomes addictive as it pleases the senses with emotional highs and then there is a clamoring for more to satisfy the beast with dripping jowls of rapacious spittle dribbling from its tongue and fiery eyes for ----more----more, and never satiated. Power and acquisitiveness fed by the technology of the day.
For me perhaps being a misfit it just feels unreal, not lasting, a dream. Even this beautiful flesh body we have been blessed with is ever changing in the midst of times gone bye and to come, ever changing day to day, year by year.
I live somewhat in a daze, bewildered by the madness of pursuit with that which perishes and is here today and gone tomorrow, which because of its frailty and shelf life, breeds the seeds of desire to make it permanent so causes the race and feverishness of the brow and palpitations for more. So desire to satisfy the temporal senses causes a chain reaction, a veritable nuclear reaction for the acquisitiveness to feed on, a self perpetuating hierarchy of consumerism, greed and unsustainable burden on Nature. What happens when it all runs out?
Then the ugly side of humanity might reveal itself as the survival of the fittest, and the wealthiest overpower those less fortunate.
Realizing this not only intellectually and logically which hurts or pricks the conscience and even deeper felt at a heart and essence strata as if the Spirit of nature is calling one, or is one with one, there is a yearning in one to reach out and implore those to stop the madness of selfish hoarding as a means of security. Yes maybe security for a while. Yet too much security breeds inactivity, staleness and boredom. Creativity sometimes needs challenge and uncomfortable situations.
So feeling this other side of Life I wonder about in some sort of half astounding wonder, a kind of unbelievable technical supermarket online world, cell phone and gizmo's galore. Where do I fit in, I am neither here nor there. Noise seems to be the 'thing' to drown out the race towards death and ill health, to distract one from fundamental real facts----who am I-------what is my purpose----too hard --- what holidays are there, what gadgets are new, what's on the telly, what sport is on, and so on. Am I in the fashion.
This yearning sears into me and I become a hermit in the town where I live or in the wild where I sojourn and yet loneliness does not touch the essence of my living although being alone.
SHACK
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