SHACK 57 THE POOL

buzzle

I have been wrestling with something, it feels deep inside and wants to get out, it feels like deep significant almost life threatening change.

The physical symptoms are congestion, mucous, bloating, a stiff neck and shoulder, burning left ear, restlessness staying up late and watching TV as a distraction.  One part of me wanting to go to bed early and fighting tiredness and the other parts divided between a poor diet, wanting to juice and do exercise, the other side let go it's all illusion, fantasies of years gone by and the repetition of them, or a variation on a theme.  Massive incessant internal dialogue, resisting meditation.

Yet there is this small voice, not a voice, a deep inner whisper and I run from it for it says and tells what I must do.

I have had several episodes similar to this with different symptoms but all heralding deep strata cellular foundational fundamental change, a deep kind of crisis, itching and stiff painful joints which are trying to lock me into the past.   

In the past I have not known what they were and left to travel, get sick and roam as an excuse not to go to work.  Distract myself to the utter limit and then beat myself up for doing it.  SHACK 58 will go into this.

Now I know what it is; I have to give up Geofffreed online, give up commentating and reporting on politics, science and not be the psychotherapist, the healer, the workshop presenter, counselor, the PH.D.  Why so?

I'll leave it to SHACK 58 as it gets too long to read and write.

Suffice it to say its adds to the pool of dross in the collective.

SHACK