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What is a nudnik? An obtuse, boring, or bothersome person; a pest.. and dibeck -devil.
My late grandmother who came from Russia in the early 1900's and lived to a 100 years of age had flowing white hair, a straight back and was a real matriarch. I loved her dearly.
She used the Yiddish words above to describe certain people and also when I created havoc as a young boy. But these words became more significant and the phonetic sounds portrayed more than their translation, like some words in other languages set a meaning beyond their literal translation.
My so called problems or now seen opportunities for growth started with my NDE in 1942, this separated me from the reality of my cultural and parental beliefs and world ethos. Although I did not know it at four years of age, I felt different and struggled with the knowledge of what I had experienced and the world at war and so on.
This difference or hiatus caused me to feel lonely as a youngster and caused me to be seen as strange and I was bullied not only for being different but as a Jew.
I was taught Jujitsu at an early age and meditation and going out of the body (OBE- out of body experiences) it was a way of rejoining the (NDE-near death experience). Fortunately I was also taught to ground myself and also severe illness and parental break up and coming back to London and finding Judo and Zen teachers and then becoming an electrician before going into Forensics and Science, also a trial and time with a well known soccer team. Then the traveling for years doing workshops presentations, in a clinic as a therapist, healer and so on. Years of teaching Judo, Kendo, meditation, Aikido and researching and studying for degrees. Then Kungfu, Taichi and Qigong.
AND all this time a rebellion a nudnik and dibeck were growing in me. I could not reconcile the rift between what society called reality and the madnesses of war and crime with the truth I deeply felt as honesty, beauty, love, respect and integrity and a transcendental experience experienced in the NDE / OBE and deep meditation. Perhaps I should have joined a monastery or gone to an Ashram. Yet somehow this felt like running away. Running away from What?
Running away from the mad world I perceived, the pain of clients (3000 in 36 years, the 637 workshop presentations, the horrors of Forensics, the turmoil in me) and yet blinding flashes of clarity and joy. So a kind of separation grew, I knew instinctively I would and could become paranoid or schizophrenic or could become a chronic depressive or a host of other mental aberrations. Yet the awareness that meditation brought to me saved the day. There was growing beside the gene in the bottle the nudnik / dibeck, the witness to the truth I felt was in me as well.
What was the most disturbing was the fact that was the NDE / OBE meditation was only a mind game, a tricky ego, a sublimation for a deeply disturbed person who really needed counseling and therapy.
What saved the day? See SHACK 59, I do not do this to cause readers to come back again, it is done to save me writing and tiring and seeking refreshment and for readers to absorb to much print.
SHACK
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