SHACK 53 HOMESICK

La Barbuda

Going away from the country where I was born and raised to say the least was traumatic.  In this foreign land where the language was so difficult and also in the wilds of nature and  far from a town, nay a village away from the noise of traffic.  It was shattering and frightening, the sounds of nature kept me awake and on guard.

How I longed for the companionship and sharing of friends and family, familiarity and safe.  After several weeks of deep meditation and packing my bags to come home several times, I walked down a familiar path where at the end of the path was a solitary gate not doing anything, just a gate stuck in the middle of nowhere, supposedly was a field and had a fence attached to it as well.

This gate was like me alone and not attached. Staring out across the field that once was, hearing the sea and the dusk arriving and just about making out a mainland, for this was an Island, a great pressure came to me, I felt I was exploding, my head bursting and then out into a clarity and now I was not alone.

The barrier of separation and longing had gone and I realized the patterns of my old home, back where I was raised was just a 'mind thing'.

I returned for a while to the land of my birth and my friends and family, it was not the same, they said I had changed, I didn't yearn for the other place. I was place-less, it was a different mind set, somehow everywhere was home, given time to acclimatise to climate, food and language. 

However during the sojourn in the first wilderness abroad and in those starry nights and silence, pure air, warm climate and simple food, some other 'home' was birthing, a beautiful tranquil mind, deep and cool, refreshing and beautiful.

However the vicissitudes of Life and the traumas that followed such as finance, health duty to family, relationships, work sometimes took me away from sensing or feeling or being aware of this 'real 'me and I felt more homesick for this 'home' of my Life Being than any Earthly abode or person(s).

The awesome truth hit home, hard and fast as long as I was in a body and had a 'mind of my own' I could not truly be at Home with the source of My Being.

So a pain far greater than anything physical or mental is always with me and a nausea at times stalks me as the homesickness is for the love of my heart an unknown unseen energy source of such great warmth and compassion that it brings me to tears.  Tears of joy at the feeling of all is very, very well and tears of sadness that a complete union and joining has not come about yet.

So my days are spent between the dream of the world which I see as expedient, transient and somewhat illusionary in a dream Disney World and the truth of the everlasting bliss that awaits patiently for my complete surrender.

SHACK

Shack met a friend who exactly felt the same and dedicates this to J.D Kemp who went to his bliss sometime back when.  Shack has met several persons who was felt to be 'soul' mates in the spirit so to speak. 

Shack. This image of ET is wonderful, his land is not of Earth, nor mine so to say, he is simple and child like, and the person who created him, made him was La Bar --buda, perhaps a play on words!