SHACK 765 QUIET

Dr Kevin Gyurina

I can't stand the quiet quiet he shouted at me how can you stand it?

I could not really answer him because when I did it infuriated him

I just said I like it and prefer it.

There were several of us and we had to go away and work and 

share lodgings or caravans, tents or whatever, this was years back.

In the morning many would reach out for a cigarette 

and switch on the radio whilst still in bed

Some would go out to the gym or jog and I do meditation, Kata and Tai chi.

In the evening it was either TV, Cinema, a dance hall or the pub.

I preferred to go into the countryside and do meditation 

or just read.

Some said I was gay, some weird, some just shrugged and laughed

and there were a few said 'let him be we'r all different'.

I truly did understand their way for I had been into all of the

things above and more. Many of the 'professed married men' 

and those committed into relationships were 'unfaithful' 

and I asked some of them if you found out your wife or girl friend 

was ' having  it off' with another person  what would you do?

'I would fucking kill her and him'

So it's OK for you and not them'

'Too true wierdy'.

They would come up to me and threaten and one did punch me but

I did just do a slight  restraining on him that put the rest off.

I did feel it was wrong and it bothered me, then after some time 

reflecting on this I realised that I had been through this in many 

ways and their excuse or reasoning was

'well its different for fellow it means nothing it's just fun, like going to a prostitute, just a relief, the old women at home    

is the one Love'

I realised that it's no use reasoning or discussing for they like me were adamant about our life styles and would lead to serious and threatening confrontation.

I still have trouble getting my head around it because having been cheated on and me cheating in relationships I had the audacity to criticise them and that makes me a hypocrite.

I remember the pain in these incidences and in my childhood with parents and relatives and who knows the pain and memories these fellows have and the brain washing and so on.

I realise now how important it is not too judge and feel pompous

in my life style and feel superior and I am learning through these teachers above not to be picky and arrogant and this is again how I feel about war and injustice. It is a hard lesson to find love in the midst of today's world with the homeless, pollution, war, austerity and yet one can condone behaviour and yet still be forgiving, not just words of forgiveness but a feeling of forgiveness which brings peace and eventually reconciliation. 

SHACK