SHACK 919 ONCE UPON A TIME

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Once upon a time, in fact one upon many times I walked, drove and meandered down many paths and they led me to wondrous places and some with unexpected disastrous consequences. The expectancy of the view, the meeting of who knows what, the place that will solve all life's questions and answers, the perfect place to live.

And yet I have done the journey's and expeditions and as much joy at the time and partial fulfilment there was a nostalgia, a nebulous irking irritation, this is not it, its lovely, satisfying to a point, to a degree , but no.

What is it that irks me so; the wonders of technology, space travel, amazing beauty of women, the prowess of men, the elasticity of youth, the wonders of historical grandeur, the happiness of family and children, the grace of animals the endless pursuits of orbits and planets the endless forms in creation to be admired and bring gladness to the senses. All this I have experienced and to some extent there is and was a sadness, all this is impermanent, transient and holding onto them and seeing them fade and lose their charm and the endless lust to recapture or make them and myself 'stand still' in the endless stream of coming and going, trying in vain to hold and freeze this moment forever and become an immortal stone statue in flesh and hold these past moments as ever present fresh rejuvenated 'nows'.

This sadness was twofold; it was not completely satisfying because of something missing and the search for what it is and was that, that was missing. It came to me that as everything was fading and dying, dissolving and recycling as the seasons and planets the merry go round in the playground of the Cosmos and its possible plan, that I alone remained as the witness and experiencer and that my consciousness was permanent, I am Awareness, I merely look, enjoy and let go, 'as my mentor said so many times "only necessary to enjoy", if I identified with form whether memory or a more tangible phenomena, then I lost my awareness and became into 'one day I will rot and decay, I will fade like that which I identify with' when I am the witness enjoying what is and not identified with the experience but merely witnessing it, a sort detachment without trying, I feel content, whole, at peace and a feeling I am not subject to death and decay.

This then is the missing bit that brings fulfilment to the decaying form and the consciousness of it, the witness lets the form be and does not question the magic that brought it forth and merely enjoys the magicians performance knowing this is life's magic and so to enjoy it and let it go for the witness senses in its intuitive essence it is the witness to Itself and that is the essence of happiness.

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