SHACK 1020 HURRY

Barking Up The Wrong Tree

Sometimes on odd occasions I get this urge; sometimes when I am just getting out of sleep, read something, saw something or from meditation or just doing mundane chores and really not focussing and just being as it were I get a 'rush' a huge energy, I must write it down, hurry before you forget it, scribble, no type, repeat it just a small seed a flash, you need to expand it, write it down.

It's as if by writing down it will liberate me, break long standing habits and inculcation and it feels so liberating and refreshing and yet tiring as I spend a long time so it seems at the keyboard and my one finger typing and dyslexia make it laborious yet satisfying and fulfilling.

Although at the time it feels so liberating and a feeling of some sort of completion and closure, the old cloud of habit returns and yet there is a subtle difference and the grasp is less powerful and I feel I have a wriggling space and the grip is loosened slightly. I am reminded not to set or anticipate this as the ego will sense a freedom from its grip and send the saboteur in, in such a way as a masked disguised mock up of an old enemy. 

Then there is a hurry or rush to get out shopping or bus ride, it feels so good I can hardly get dressed quickly enough and sometimes ignoring washing or drinking a tea or something and all routines torn aside with great haste and gusto. There is something waiting for me I do not know what and I feel this future event will bring some sort of liberation or synchronicity that will liberate me. 

Going away to a new location or this sense that the future will hold my liberation, it will be there when I arrive can be a subtle trap; for my habits, beliefs and routines, my hang ups travel with me, they are mind bound and of course translate psychosomatically so I only travel as it were physically and to perhaps new surroundings but in mind as it were I have travelled nowhere. 

Perhaps for a while I feel liberated and I may have made a make over and then realise it is a variation on a theme and then the old nostalgia and haunting ghost returns, the old clouds and the old confinements and limits, the old ties that bind. I make new resolutions and resolutions not to make resolutions and I promise I will not plan so much and then do so is there a way to break free?.

Perhaps I only travel in my mind as it were and I have often said as an Astronaut travelling to Mars or Jupiter one only experiences this in ones mind and the vehicle is the body, the experiencer is the witness consciousness and awareness. So the mind emptied of all content, not by repression, suppression or wilful endeavour but a silent awareness of the content with attention without intention, awareness without bias brings one to the 'empty still quiet mind' which devoid of CONTENT IS THE NOW.  

For it is the content of the mind which are thoughts, the internal dialogue, the incessant mind chatter, the day dreams and fantasies, the internal cinema, the cameos and scenarios, the tapestries, the glamour's, the emotional highs and lows that appear to be real and are mere brain washed hand me downs and modified to seemingly be original and creative and at most a new drama and history repeating itself and hoping to fool the self in a deluded attempt at original fresh creative effort. 

No amount of tinkering and juxtaposing, configuring, upgrading and make overs will suffice and bring peace, the opposite may hold some evidence. The past has no solution, it is gone and is a vague impression, the future is usually a remake, a new eversion of the past, so there never is a future, just a rehash and for a while some mere satisfaction and like a new toy, once the novelty is over, the same old, same old returns, the past is gone and is stale, jaded and gone and trying to get hold of the satisfaction of the old joys and drown the sorrows merely take one down memory lane and that will hold one in a grip of emotional bondage and liberation will  be caught in the net of yesterday and tomorrow never arrives because the memories and habits bind one to the yesterday of the past and the future is merely an imaginary one. 

The emotions are summoned up from the memory banks in an effort to feel the emotions, the live raw events of the past and so satisfy the ego and remind it, it is here and always now and yet it knows it lives in a dead theatre with itself as the audience and craves a new bright drama and so a history is created which is a witness to its being and life and yet knowing it is a figment of imaginary experiences and consequences.   

So where do I hurry too; what destination on the Earth or the Universe will ultimately fulfil me, my aching soul wants peace yet the allurement and seduction of new places and exploration beckon me on only to fade when I run out of new places and vistas, like today many look for new thrills, either with drugs, films, sexual encounters, conquering the heights and depths and eventually new places in space, eventually realising these are places of the material of world and are forms that can be beautiful, enchanting and seemingly fulfilling and yet like the art collector who is looking for a new objet d'art soon may run out of acquisitions and content themselves with just looking and admiring and caught in the alluring dream of material fulfilment. 

And when examining the material aspect of things the world may fall apart; all material things decay, their very atomic nature declares the fading and dying and returning to the infinity where they were born, for what is born is bound to death, their very appearance is a brief experience in space and when it arrives in the hologram of space its appearance is marked as time and so time is a material marker of human time and the life of this experience is the life of the form and is a period and epoch and its disappearance a death of the form back to timelessness. The nature of the atom is emptiness and at most an untidy dash of something in the quantum realm and so it for humans and the Universe, a mere dash, a flash of inspiration which says hurry to a new exciting anticipation of the future and then gone and when this is gone only the silent quiet peaceful mind remains and one has found solace in the nothingness of peace and empty space and all is empty and yet fulfilling. 

So what's the rush then?.

SHACK

Life and Whim
Really----what happens when you get there?(SHACK)

SHACK 1019 PRISON BARS

ADOBE STOCK

Sometimes I feel trapped in an invisible yet tangible confinement a sort of pressure in my neck and 'squeezed'  brain as if a trapped entity is bursting to get out.

This entity is like trapped air or water and gets stagnant if encapsulated for long periods. Yet occasionally an escape valve like on a pressure cooker releases and then closes. Various distractions can cause a temporary release. 

This confinement is a psychological one in the sense I feel trapped by old patterns and routines, I have a sense they cover the real whoever I am and yet by inculcation they form so hard a habit and that habit becomes reality and yet knowing this and occasionally breaking free it still regrows and the shutters come down and here I am again, the false illusionary 'I am'.

Like stalactites and stalagmites the years of repetitive 'dripping' of water to form over years the stalactite and so the habit grows by conditioned beliefs and concepts to be stalactites of the mind, rock ones being seen and tangible mind ones being invisible and yet tangible through emotions and feelings, the so called psychosomatic interface. The grounding and believing these are real and reality are embedded as the foundation and become the stalagmite.     

SHACK

SHACK 1018 COAT HOOK

Mens Health

                                         Coat Hook Broken

Coat drops 

Heavy thoughts

Drop 

Them

SHACK

 

SHACK 1017 ASSUMED REALITY

Pocketsizetheatre

Assumed reality; when one decides to look into reality and delve into the mystery of reality one can then arrive at sort of conclusion that reality is based mostly on beliefs and beliefs are in part made up of ideas either learnt or modified and ideas are thought processes so then it follows maybe everything I have presumed is real and there in front of my eyes or in my minds eye is reality. This reality takes on the role of ones world and the known and gives a sense of security even if the world of the known is chaotic; it is still the known and held together by ones sense of reality as such.

It maybe uncomfortable to realise and feel and I use the word feel that at most 'I am an idea'. How did this idea of me come about; well apart from my parents union and me born from the womb and egg and  sperm, I was an awareness without thought and discernment.

The coalescing of ideas by inculcation which is a process of repetition and so compacting layers of thoughts so that they form a seeming strata of levels which then bind together like the stories in a tower block and so by compacting and stratifying them they appear to be solid and so the mind determines that they are real and solid.

However on close inspection and taking courage to look into these layers, one may come to realise that the mind has constructed these scaffolds, these strata and by courageously picking apart, disassembling the layers which are the very nuts and bolts of the scaffolding which maybe terrifying as the former seemingly solid foundation and security, the known or so called norm, the very cornerstone of generally agreed with modifications due to culture and religion are an a contract of agreement and used in law and religion and when these are seen as mind constructs and mere ideas formed into beliefs then the watertight foundations and securities begin to crumble. 

The question then may arise why does the mind need to form these constructs and make beliefs seem so solid and in your face so to speak?; in looking and inspecting the nature of mind, one may realise that mind is an awareness, an intelligent conscious entity, a being that is aware of itself and is especially aware of itself when it breaks the illusion and spell of just being an automatic reaction to life through learnt strategies and never really questioning anything about why one acts so robotically and of course that is what athletes need and cultivate yet the average person does so by work and toil, one may realise one is a programmed organic robotic entity and runs on planned inculcated algorithms which have been handed down for many generations and so the world has a field of stored thought patterns contained in a magnetic containment field known as the collective unconscious. It is UNCONSCIOUS because it acts seemingly spontaneously and without realising and is a reaction to life circumstances, it the unconscious reaction which most people have in common.   

Suddenly and perhaps by chance, maybe a shock or something else jerks the unconscious out of its reverie and musing and one may become aware of ones automatic responses and reactions. The psychiatric tests of word associations and should they not match it means one may have a problem, be an outsider and disturbs the 'norm 'and could be a potential problem in society and in this pandemic and the fear and psychological inculcation by censoring any threat to the narrative of governmental demands then by media and medical constant reminder of the threat and variant virus the inculcation process takes place and the 'new normal' is established and through fear which is the superglue of the ego a new energy enters the collective unconscious and a new reactive set of responses ensue.

The mind being an awareness without a physical attribute and physical tangibility begins to think and ideas emerge and it wants to experience itself as a form, to be tangible, so it begins to create ideas and then begins to layer them and really believes them to come into physical manifestation, I want my ideas to become solid so I can affirm myself as a live being and not just a thought form, a dream, an illusion which dies or withers in front of my eyes, I am here, solid and tangible and so be it.

However this is the delusion; the mind has convinced itself that its constructs are real and tangible AND IS so enamoured, charmed and seduced and gives endless power and energy to its ideas and constructs that IT BELIEVES it is real, here, moving, feeling living and it fools itself, a sort of self deception and feeling the delights of the flesh, the loveliness of nature, the awesomeness of the Universe, the trillions of stars and galaxies, the billions and trillions of cells and atoms that the glory of the creation of the flesh and nature enrapture the awareness and the consciousness goes full throttle into the dream and constructs and to the mind its is real, here and forever.  

Then the paradox, the koan, the awakening; hold on what do you mean forever? A shock of some sort, something breaks the dream, the web that the magic spider spun. What is this world of tangible forever?; the solid billiard ball of Sir Isaac Newton suddenly was not so tangible, they discovered atoms, dream like 'bits' and then particles and then the observer effect and the so called tangibility began to lose its effect. The Zen fraternity knew this as they silently watched their thoughts and they began to dismantle their beliefs and some came to the empty mind and some realised the similarity to the 'nothingness of the empty atom', the scientist through particle physics and Zen through meditation and asked what is the nature of reality? 

A STARK glaring fact emerges 'there is no such thing as a tangible REALITY, it is the mind desiring and yearning to be visible, the fact that the mind, awareness, consciousness is invisible so to speak it wants to prove itself of itself and to itself 'I AM HERE I EXIST 'and wrestles with itself when it realises it is by dominating inculcation and blindly pounding, brain thumping that I believe I am tangible and goes on believing this until the forms around it wither and die and the tangible body so thought of as solid and living, shrivels and withers, gets frail and illness and disease may assail one at times that one begins to glimpse at the so called fragility of life, the very precariousness and indeterminate of life on Earth and the Universe and so impermanency and the transitory nature of nature and life becomes apparent and so more effort may ensue to shore up that dwindling tangible form and yet death will prevail in the end.

Should one be brave enough and go into this dwindling crumbling form this seeming deterioration then one can let go of the past concretised constructs and perceived realities and let them fall naturally as the waves rise and fall from the ocean as the seasons come and go and realise as they fade and dwindle as concepts as one may realise I am alive with or without these binding beliefs that limit me and so while alive in the body and still vigorous or elderly and fading one HAS DIED not necessarily as an organic entity but to ones former beliefs. ONE realises that the life so far led has been a mind construct and only that; it has literally been all in the mind. 

One then realises that one is free to be just mind; mind being awareness and consciousness and is free of beliefs but can live freely without the restrictions of mind constructs that bind one to a path of rigid adherence and then enjoy the temporary illusionary flesh body and realise in intuitive flashes 'I AM MIND, I AM CONSCIOUSNESS, MY TRUE NATURE IS AWARENESS' I can live without form and I can create form knowing it is I that created it and it is not my true nature. I AM THAT and that is reality.

SHACK

SHACK 1016 OOH ---THAT MIRROR

Science of Non Duality

When I reflect and examine my thoughts and feelings as they spontaneously 'arrive' in awareness without prejudice and opinion I begin to realise that they are merely floating clouds and mostly meaningless and that they are not important and as I look into this mind mirror I begin to understand my relationship with them.

The importance seems to be related to their significance in my life and survival to living. Most of the thoughts provoke emotions that would be satisfying and make me feel safe and the more I acquire not only in form like material objects the objects seem to be a sort of barricade, a sort of fortress and I realise they are mind safety devices and at most a false comfort, they like most acquisitions are 'mind stuff' and  on deep reflection they are in the mirror of relationships and will fade if not because of something better to replace them or make me feel like a new toy more secure or on death.

However when I observe my relationship with people and pets rather than mere material forms that are so called non organic, then in many relations I have been looking for approval which can be a substitute for love or a need. If it is for need then I am holding fast to this relationship and when it is broken and pain and bitterness follows and a hollow sinking fear and feeling lonely and derelict and seek solace in some other distraction or person.

A realisation comes to me all relationships can fade in the fullness of time. What lasts forever? Is there a relationship that is lasting? Yes, when all relationships fade and it is seen and felt that all things organic or non organic are impermanent, transient and should one realise like holding a cube of ice that all forms in the mirror of relationships melt and dissolve as ones body does and should one discover that all is transient, impermanent and only slip by like the clouds, then life becomes less serious and one can find that this so called emptiness of loss of grasping the ice cube and let it melt AND not freak out at the Nothingness that may feel barren and foreboding and not run and let oneself abide in that 'void' there is a joy and light that is the relationship to oneself and does not fade and one perceives that all forms are illusionary and like the ice cub promise solidarity and security but like all so solid forms are the delusion of a solid foundation.

There is no dependency on mirror reflections, they are phantoms that cross the mind and even when love is found in a partner this may fade as need is gradually lessened and that persons or persons have moved on or one might have moved on when one realises the 'catch and trap' of dependency and that dependency not only keeps one entrapped but in fear of the loss and 'oh God what happens when---!!?.

Living with loss can be a great teacher; should one stay with loss and realise life in a flesh body from birth to death is loss and no matter what one does the 'grim reaper' will get one some day and running from the inevitable causes more fear and that seeking distraction through addiction will only put off the threat of death. So in the mirror of relationships, be it with ones emotions, body, people, animals, culture, politics, God or the Universe it is a great teacher to look and not be afraid and question 'what are my relationships to these and other items in my life, how much do I depend on them and what do I feel when they are abundant or deprived in my Life'.

What one may find is that as one relaxes and let these fears and feeling subside and not run, relax, breathe and let go of the tension and when one can let go of them when they arise and then spot the triggers that cause the fear, then one can go into relationships realising they are not of one and can be like a fun thing to enjoy and not cling and depend and realise that me and my body will end one day, however one having learnt and is reconciled to the fact that even the body is not to be clung too as security and is a process in life and will end as well and in a way is only temporary and impermanent and having discovered in oneself that there is an awareness that is conscious of all temporary forms and is the mirror that allows forms to appear and fade, that mirror is Life, it is Consciousness into which all forms arise and dissolve and so the reflections like cloud passing by are mere passages of transient impermanent illusions and like reflections in the mirror are just that. You are free and be the mirror and from 'Zen--be the mirror bright and make sure no dust alight' 'Look at the light not the lampshade'

SHACK 

  The light and lampshade are not from Zen but could be---The light is consciousness or and is consciousness. The lampshade can be smudged or stained with dependency and trauma and so ones awareness is reflected and refracted through the stains and so awareness is dimmed and life which is the light is not guiding one but ones programmes and agendas which are the addictions, pains and false securities, cleaning the lampshade is the process of realisation that the light is more secure than the shade which can be examined and realised for it is a dependency and impermanent and a illusion and turn to the light and consciousness which leads ones life and is abiding. (SHACK) 

SHACK 1015 THAT AND THAT

Shuffle Card Games

NO NOT THAT

I AM THAT

SHACK

I could be anyone of the cards or none at all!!!? SHACK

SHACK 1014 ANOTHER SHIFT

 

HR. Daily Community

In my life from November 7th 1938 till now APRIL 13th 2021 there had been key points not only of physical illness and severe unease due to circumstances causing stress and panic attacks. However there are another series that I name as significant shifts in my world view.

The first of these was a NDE in 1944 and puzzled me for many years and I remember the Being in the scenario and the light and the ball that was the Earth and not wanting to come to this ball. Over the years I thought that the Being maybe my twin that never survived, I was told this by my Aunt Milly, or was it a past life being or a spiritual guide or part of a twin identical soul. Then as I got the 1967 writings I felt I was born to a mission and on teaching Judo, Kendo and Meditation and later Tai Chi and Qi Gong, presenting workshops, healing sessions and clinics I felt this might be and then just before all this which may have had a huge influence in my life and the first radical shift. I feel now that the NDE was simply to overcome those aspects of my persona as in later paragraphs. 

I was given a Koan and I have relayed this many times; the effect was startling when it came to its climax; the Koan tormented me and on that morning when the 'intuitive spontaneous' flash arrive in a nano,nano instant it shattered my known world view, I cannot go further than that, something blasted and altered my neuronal pathways and connections. Although I had to go to work as an apprentice Electrician I could not relate to anything worldly and I did not fit in with my colleagues or anybody else.  This caused all sorts of problems; I could not relate to girlfriends, sex, money, war, evil and darkness of spirit, I was a misfit and along with childhood and parents splitting up and so on it was a very unhappy time and dilemma. 

I then took to very earnest meditation as there was a void and discrepancy between the 'normal world agreed world ethos' and my view and another shattering event was the breaking of the oak, the Maharishi, Sensei and Sifu who guided me spiritually from the astral to the real deal. All these related in earlier articles.

Then a sort of doom and chaos set in and I could not deal with this void and stopped meditation and tried to form and fill the gap with my own will and agendas and then out of the blue I gave up all and everything and moved to Minorca and the wild and emptiness and nearly went crazy with the lack of everything and the primitive conditions. 

The next episode was three visits to Samye Ling(on the third visit I got to the gate and like a large invisible hand that was on my hand blocked me and I could not even open the gate and I realised this was like the Judo and so on.  It was an end to that energy and like all the others I never missed it or went back, it had been erased from my mind, there seemed to be even a complete erasure. There were three to Findhorn and the three sabbaticals from work and the transition to Forensics. What really was behind these drastic changes?; mostly the minor transits were changes of job and locations with homes, they were dramatic but not a shift in consciousness. Findhorn, Samye Ling, Minorca, Canada and travelling UK and Europe, the workshops and all m relationships with Jean Joseph, Susan Joseph, Gilly Wells, Samantha Horrocks, Geraldine Roseaux, Carol Elvy and minor ones with Greta. Friendships and teacher to Roger Russell, Richard Torns, Arnold Pezarro the friend who took over all my Judo David Macintosh, My Mentors Doreen and Roy Morris, Kenshiro Abbe 8th Dan, Gunji Koizumi 8th Dan, Matsuro Otani 7th Dan Tomio Otani 3rd Dan Kendo were definitely high lights but none shitted my 'reality' as did the NDE which has caused me to ponder that 'other reality as distinct from Earth and its apparent solidity and I disliked and hated the the concrete 'thickness' of Earth as is in distinction to the etheric dreamlike NDE and wanting to go back there and not afraid of death but more afraid of being bound forever in this cocoon of the flesh body and its seemingly inescapable hold and its limited form. Oh the relief in meditation and some fantasies.  

The sudden realisation of 'walking away from Judo' and the Giving up of all workshops, healings, the stopping of teaching meditation, teaching Tai Chi and Qi Gong, all left a hiatus and this latest one the blogs and even a reluctance to this writing.

All of the significant shift events that caused the shifts were; NDE, Koan and now the latest The Quantum Stuff. The NDE an ongoing scenario and caused doubt over this incarnation, bollocked by NDE, Shattered by the KOAN and Fucked by the Quantum Stuff.

When the three events occurred there was a period of chaos as distinct from fear and anxiety and panic. There was a void, a blank and sense of just not trying to put things together and make sense using my will to do a psychotherapy on me which I had done on the lesser events although traumatic did not bring in this intuitive sense leave it ALONE, DON'T interfere there is some thing deeper as it were going on.  

There is a theory by a scientist Ilya Prigogine which I have cheekily adapted to my view; when an organic being lives, it eats food, ingests ideas and excretes waste, breath exchange, there is an exchange with the environment, if this exchange works well according to the natural laws that guide life at this level, there comes a time when the organism gets full  to its capacity and needs to enlarge itself; a snake to shed its skin, a crab its carapace, a caterpillar to the chrysalis and then butterfly, the human and animals, plants and so on, have this urge to grow in incremental stages. Now at the point where the snake sheds its skin, the crab its carapace and the caterpillar enters its chrysalis there is a suspension of the previous form and as it goes through its transition it is vulnerable and in chaos until the new form which should be larger and exchange more with the environment takes place, it is IMPORTANT for nature to implement the change and not the human will. Nature does it naturally if there is no interference from human humans or a natural disaster.  It is here that humans differ or domesticated animals and plant life. By human inculcation we humans feel and think we may know better than nature, especially among some academics who get into Darwinism, Creative Design, Intelligent Design, Creationism and God.

A bible saying 'I of myself am nothing, It is God that doeth the works' The Kingdom of Heaven is within, first seek this Kingdom and all will done for you' Consider the Lilies of the field they toil not neither do they spin' The Monk story I tell about the migrations and when returning 'I did nothing to make it happen'.

Should one be able to naturally suspend the tendency to interfere with a natural process and I feel the five extinctions and the feeling of an imminent sixth because the Earth and its habitants are full of old patterns and accumulated dross and many have not exchanged wisely with the environment and in this period of the so called Covid -19 Pandemic when all forms of life seem outdated and stagnant the world Authorities' want to RESET and probably deliberately want this and PROMOTE there NEW WORLD ODER which by technocracy, eugenics, transhumanism, cyborgism and dystopia is ignoring the natural function OR are they? Because this latest SHIFT in me and my own chaos has brought about by the ongoing crisis that I feel I am right doing the blogs and exposing their complicity and I am imposing my will and saying they are greedy, paranoiac, psychopaths, sociopaths and immoral tyrants and so on and I am questioning my blogs www.geofffreed.com (online) and I find I am just as judgemental, hypocritical and although I have known this all along it has shifted from an intellectual understanding and some denial to full awakening 'I am just like them' and I am causing a them and us and maybe this is the way the world needs to go and so on.

The Quantum Stuff is still percolating; The empty atom and here am I, the brainwashing and inculcation and there is no reality in brain washed mental constructs, there is no reality only what your beliefs dictate, beliefs are interchangeable and swappable, many are fixed and cannot see any alternatives or rather fear change about them and brings insecurity and yet at BASE so to speak there is 10% of fuck all, if that. So what have I now? Nothing but the seeming chaos of having nothing and fading fast and emptying the larder and attic, the jigsaw picture of my so call perceived reality tumbling fast, causing  instability, uncertainty and KNOWING DEEPLY let it alone let it do its thing. Let Go live and accept chaos and hopefully but and not even hoping just an innate knowing that I am a creation, a child of the Universe and chaos is meant to be and is indeed a staging post, a respite although more a suspension of the 'norm' indeed a breakdown of the norm if there is ever a norm, perhaps the norm is based on conditioned brain washed beliefs which are just hand me downs, yesterdays clothing in charity shops and exist only as mind constructs but have no reality only an imagined one. After all there the so called elite are falling into the trap that are real and forever, all systems, epochs, dominions come and go and will decay and fall into disarray and chaos, so chaos is the matrix of birth and death, in fact no birth or death just a recycling of the old outworn to a newer larger or finer smaller update and reconfiguration. The apoptosis and to autophagy, then the  sort of dead cell debris as it were as fertiliser and the mitophagy. auto mitophagy and so on.

So being fucked by the Quantum Stuff and there aint no reality nothing at all, what's all the bother about then?.

SHACK

SHACK IO13 UPTIGHT

Susan David PH.D 

Shoulders hunched and neck hard down in the shoulder pouch constricting the throat this is an unconscious fear that I have noticed, eyes staring ahead or nervous glances to the side and I wary of going out or down stairs to the communal lounge.

The more I hunch I can feel the fear, the tight trapezius and constricted short breaths, the tightened abdomen and then shallow chest breathing and yet I do not consciously know what I am anxious about.

The tension forces me to stop relax and examine the fear which is just at this movement an ominous baleful kind of premonition and yet nothing tangible or as yet known.  

It is just a sensation and a darkness that seems to stop the mind and paralyse the thinking and just trickles into the mix of an unknown unwarranted excursion and uninvited intrusion that fogs my awareness and panic or unease being the result.

Then stopping and observing the process and gradually releasing the shoulders then freeing the tight waist and abdomen and the dropping shoulders encourage a deeper breath suddenly I become aware that the tension 'trapped' the actual thoughts or understanding to my conscious mind, all the tension was a reaction to some sort of supressed event and dread which was triggered by some aroma, smell, sound, sensation or just its time for doing it or perhaps a routine action I have been doing for years and became a seemingly spontaneous natural act. However this was not.

I became aware of some of these 'unheard words like pictures in the mind, a mind video'; Be careful out there, its not safe, wrap up warm, try not to exert yourself you are weak and a coward, remember you are not as strong as other kids, they will always trick you and rob you, you do not realise how clever and wise, strong and clever and they are jealous of you, there are terrible painful things lurking in the shadows and will jump out and consume you, molest you and harm and make you a cripple you and many are just shadows that lurk and haunt me and so on the list is endless and also remember when you lose your temper you are powerful and have hurt and caused grief, so hold it down and realise you are a danger, All people are not nice and they want to lure you in and seduce you and trick you, so always be suspicious and on guard for the wolf in sheep's clothing.

Wow and that's just the half of it. These are some of the contents of the ego's and false reality. When I see this in terms of observing and letting the content spew forth and roll out I feel they are not so sinister and foreboding these perturbations are programmes and agendas that are the inculcations that were rhetorically drummed into me and reinforced by well meaning caring as they felt and thought parents and peers.

This is what and similar to the cold showering and the messages; wrap up, your mad, you'll get pneumonia, you'll get a death a cold, oh god this is insane and especially at your age and heart condition and so I have to face these things and really listen and observe for some of these observations may truly say 'no not yet or my body really says no', to be foolhardy is not the name of the game.

SHACK

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SHACK 1012 OPEN CHANNEL

Divine Cosmos

The marvel of a seed or an egg; when seed falls to the ground or is planted this small entity contains the information that with the right conditions will allow it dissolve or die to its original seed self and from its seemingly demise it begins to unfold and unfurl in if you will in incremental segments.

The information therein translates itself into a form and recognisable entity.  

Similarly when we are born and come from the seed of our parents we carry in our DNA a blueprint of our organs and frame and yet our brain is a relatively empty neurone memory bank or as I feel magnetic fields which hold or contain our memories and experiences, this as yet is not generally accepted, although the holographic brain postulated by Karl Pribram was a 'touch on this' any road as they say I feel the brain is a decoder and switch and like a remote control through the actions of firing synaptic pathways form routes and 'a kind of or WI FI' that enables the 'memory field to activate and access their data'. 

These fields build up information and form beliefs of which many of them are stored and inserted within the early years to adolescence are just taken in through inculcation and so are accepted without question.

There is probably very little questioning or reasoning as to their role models and peers 'sing the same tune'. So these fields build up a sense of a collective and a foundation for beliefs which are accessed and then explored as in agreement or rejected, so the fields become the motivation and judgement and references to all we do, later on we may slightly modify or refresh and we may think they are original and creative yet on close examination find they are a make over or a variation of a theme.

These fields are in tandem and form a cooperative which become the ego or one's own identity and becomes one's reality and sometimes never really questioned. Questioning too inquisitively is not generally not encouraged especially about faith and belief and is often explained away as ' For generations and generations our forefathers believed this and this is our faith and we honour them and we, if need be will defend and die for them'. Some are fanatical this way and some are tolerant but feel slightly guilty if due duty in some way is not performed and paid tribute too.

A seed in nature follows its information naturally and the intelligence and information of this blueprint nature handles 'instinctively or in a manner that is 'understood' in nature's language, some have suggested that is prompted by the Moon and Sun and the electromagnetic pulses which are carrier waves and frequencies with signals and prompts to activate the 'circuitry' within the seed and so on and since the Universe is an energetic vibrational being it is a seamless and an interdependent interrelated symbiotic process. There is a direct and open channel between the seeds, nature and Source.  

In fact I would say there is not only  a directness or connectiveness but a oneness of an Invisible Energy Intelligence expressing Itself in a visible form through the media of the seed.  

Now the human to be a 'seed' in adult form and be an open channel for the Source, the human has to dissolve or become aware of the beliefs that guide them and realise 'are they of nature' or are they of human inculcated conditioned source, if they are like brainwashed inherited hand me downs, are they my original thoughts before I was taught them, in fact I am not original in a way I am a second hand thought form and a charity shop of old worn out clothes dressed as thoughts as it were. 

On contemplating the above one may by just contemplation come to an intellectual understanding that 'oh wow I am not who I thought I was I am only someone else's ideas and my reality is only based on rhetorical stylistic oratorical magniloquence and is a cover or shroud over the open channel of direct connectivity with source'.

 Is there a way to be in oneness as the seed?; yes by realisation and gently or severing the roots not by suppression or force but by becoming aware through awareness, a sort conscious recognition of the 'not me' and strangely enough to becoming less full of thoughts and becoming more still but dynamic and realising that as thoughts become intrusive as to the point of no use only as a noise then the empty mind goes back to its original 'baby form' as an empty curious being doing naturally what Source has in mind for one. This is enlightenment; a mind cleared of rhetorical brainwashing and has become an open channel and the only information left in the fields are enough for the human form to sustain itself.

At first the 'old energy fields of the past' will try and get hold of the space as it has fine residues of generations of built up deposits and it may take many incarnations to become one with Source and say 'The Source and I one'. 

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SHACK 1011 SUPER VIBES

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LIFE IS ABOUT FRQENCIES 

AND 

VIBRATIONS

THEREFORE THERE IS NO DEATH

JUST A CHANGE OF VIBES

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