SHACK 1052 TEACHERS

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Many years back some phrases stuck and an these are some; teachers arrive in many disguise's, Teachers arrive in the unexpected moments but it is always at the right timing, What may seem like a crisis or tragedy can be a learning experience, We only teach that which we most want to learn, We are one another's teachers, We find ourselves in the mirror of relationship's.

A recent one took place in the communal lounge where about four or five and sometimes seven residents meet from about 13.00hrs to 14.00 or 14.20. We are a mixed group, a former fashion executive originally from Shri Lanka, a former builder from Lancashire, a hospital porter from local, an Irish barman, and occasionally a lady from Cypress and two from Malaya and the most dominant who hold court so to speak a brick layer who is of French decent and me.   

Richard is the loudest vilest, sex mad brick layer and in his days in Germany took every drug available and had sexual intercourse in many ways with many females and he is always recounting in the vilest terms his encounters and when the ladies are not present he clutches his genitals and almost masturbates, he tells us of his masturbations at his flat and that he is 'firing blanks' and that he yearns for a female and when our lounge windows are open he shouts at passing females.

We try to have conversations but 'tricky Dickie' as he calls himself buts in and mocks us and in the most disingenuous, duplicitous manner with every swear word imaginable and ending up with coughing and spitting with huge farts and telling us of his 'piles' 'prostate troubles and his watery ejaculations and will not let us speak.

Never the less the others manage to speak and he often says he is jealous of the Shri Lankan and myself. Up until the 4th August 2021 he has not mocked me as much as the others, he suddenly rounded on me because he wants a women and when I mentioned some very young women who are my friends and he has seen he exploded; 'what do they fucking see in you, you bald headed fat bellied not much cock and dick I can see and your old and useless', he has done similar verbal assaults to the others, this the first time to me.  

His remarks did sting a little and although I did not reply as he often runs out quickly and he has often said he is lonely and suicidal and depressed at times and has a badly disfigured right leg due to catching a virus in hospital and is fortunate to not have both legs amputated.

I realised that his remarks did arouse and anger me and then on reflection I realised he awoke a reaction which instead of retaliation and revenge or never going to the lounge again and avoidance I felt he had taught me where my ego image still was sensitive to these remarks and yes I have shaved my head, I do have a big belly and I am old in to some expectations at near 83 and this exposure to my image that lay dormant or below surface and yes I have tried to slim down and it was getting a little obsessive, suddenly because of that jibe I am more at ease and he taught me possibly unknowingly that my ego still held onto images of fashion and 'the West's obsessiveness with youth, slim, certain physical attributes, sexy and virile, whereas I incline to native fashions of belly and roundedness which I did not embrace fully until that jibe. I am not implying all natives are fat and bald but they are less into fashion and are as they are. I also learnt from this not seek retaliation, sulk and ruminate on these feelings, avoidance and run away and vow never to expose myself to this again. I will return when it genuinely feels 'right'  

Thank you for being my teacher Richard, he is also a very kind man behind that bull shit blase manner and will help out where possible.

However his constant shouting and uncouth remarks and jibes do give me a headache and I really feel out of sync when going home to the quietness, however I realised also that I can tolerate or rather let this energy go through me and not meet the ego taunts he exposes and this is part of the world congregation and so thank you again for the realisation of the ego lays quiet when the jibes and taunts of the world are meant to hurt or disturb and I can learn to be me in the environment and be peaceful beneath the adverse conditions without repressing or will and be still in that condition.

SHACK