SHACK 2017 TOPSY TURVY

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Topsy Turvy; I am not even sure if the image above or the title describes or depicts the article I am about to type. 

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Struggling with impermanence, knowing there is no such thing as a human identity, trying to hold onto anything including thoughts and habits are but a futile chance of finding permanent reality. Holding the ice cube in the hand, vainly striving to keep it from melting, I try sand and that eventually trickles through either through a tired fist or just through the cracks between the fingers like an hours glass. Is there indeed such a consciousness or programme of a permanent identity?

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OK so the scientists can download your personality your programmed brainwashed self into a robot and you live forever so to speak, free from human organs and pain so one might think, a paradise, yes for those who have not realised in contemplation that all is a false programme brain washed self as in many previous article herein. The true battle of the Spiritual Warrior is to find that which one is before brain washing and inculcation. This means that there is no real identifiable self per se.

   

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There is a saying which can be taken many ways; 'Slaughtered by silence' to me in the contemplation and then meditation I seem to have an experience where thought evaporates naturally like a balloon on some occasions and I am not in trance, sleep, daydream and highly aware of sound and touch yet they are secondary and I am in bliss and sometimes ecstasy, that which has been 'slaughtered' was the brain washed conditioned self.

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Oh yes, nice to dream of satori, nirvana, heaven, samadhi, enlightenment however these are but images culled from the brain washed graphics and the writings of gurus, masters, saints and mystics, until one reaches the formless 'self' can one say really self! then one remains in the realm of that which appears solid and then fades with the sands of time.  

So there may come a period in ones life when the topsy turvy world arrives and it can hit hard; I arrive at impermanence even the atom says so, 

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crazy to hold onto the fact that our 60 trillion or so atoms in our bodies are empty and tiddly bit of point that is apparently left is not known or has an explanation or really that is a misnomer so here we are all empty coming from seemingly nowhere from nothing. Great does that make it easier----you bet if you come to this or arrive at this, the sane, rational, logical, intellectual educated mind will go probably and Shriek NO WAY, your insane. I know of scientists in the early days of the 'atom, quantum stuff' who went gaga. 

Then the Spiritual Warrior has its handful so to speak, some give up and go back to distraction, to put that thought to bed, alcohol, sex, or whatever easies the pain of not being who one was and seeing through the false life, the fake programming and some get depressed and suicidal and some take the leap into the void and embrace that which stares starkly and seems oblivion and guess what they may find oblivion is not what it seems. I am saying death or suicide as oblivion I am saying the absence or the habitual thought brain washed programmes and that cannot be by suppression, numbing, drugs, religion.

Then there is the religious quest; believing in God, an invisible being, praying and yet the beseeching doesn't seem to make God real or get an answer and even when a prayer or miracle presents itself as an answer then one goes into a romantic religious ritual, better that than egoistic conquering fanaticises played out by a despotic and cruel tyrannous murdering marauder.   

For me living in the peace beyond understanding and joyful free mind with very little thought and yet to those who have not experienced this one is not dull stupid but one seems to have thoughts intuitively NAY not impulsively, they appear to be compassionate and respectful, fear is nearly absent accept for survival and that is an instinctual act as it were. Have I attained such a consciousness--just little interludes and instead of the fight between the brainwashed self and the selfless self there is more of a recognition of a looming something else.

Now I experience the 'Jihad' not in religious terms but in similar instances and examples; taken the world per se is mainly impermanent and in cycles, planets will crumble, stars come and go nature and people are born and on the road to death and we, us humans, whilst young and active go on as forever, then tragedy, war and so on bring the lesson, hold on and some explore the impermanence of Life and indeed the Universe and can come to ' well this is the Way of everything and learn to live with it uncomfortably', some run from it and into distraction, some opt out in suicide, some just obliterate themselves in outlandish stuff and for me I wake up in the morning and wonder why the heck am I still here, I know intellectually and logically this is so, I have been 'slaughtered' by the 'No Mind' as it were and yet the remnants, the hard to remove sticky bits in the pan so to speak, resist the removal even by a scrubbing brush. I get up and write this article and really knowing 'at the back of mind' that the only thing that says 'what the heck am I doing here when I know that all is impermanence, Maya, illusion is the voice of the sticky bit, the fading desperately clinging to a life boat, the remnant, the dying animal, struggling in its death throes and yet knowing that complete death and surrender would be 'wunderbar'. I feel in me the dying ego and I feel a cold that is not the cold of climate and there is part of me so to speak that feels a liberation from something that is dark and has served its purpose and sell by date.

Yet this wunderbar can be an illusion, a mere concept and this keeps the ego chuntering on and putting doubt, ' well you know wunderbar, satori crap, this enlightenment is mere speculation and I have to agree unless it is experienced then one cannot say, then the ego says but that experience maybe 'a graphic' a clever deceit, a forgery that I the ego conjured up out of my brainwashing and the collective unconscious. So the ego provides the lesson to test as it were and lead me on so to speak as if there was or is a 'me that is definable' and as uncomfortable as it is, it provides the spur, the tip of the pole of the ego and its heights and as I sit on the tip of that pole it pokes itself into my anus and I reminded to seek the  cause of that uncomfortableness and can only say that the pole is the height and length of my brain washing and that it is impermanence Itself, after all the pole is made of atoms so to speak and is in essence as empty and impermanent as my brainwashing (heaven forbid I said 'my') and at this point I wonder what the fuss was all about, NO doubt the frightened child ego will remind me. 

You know as long as this article maybe it still does not suffice.

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