SHACK 2019 PUSH THROUGH

Quote Fancy

On some mornings I feel to not get up and face the day and then some mornings there is sadness and what's the use, a rotten world a hard pandemic with lies and cheating and so on. Its depressing and then not by will and as the title says push through, not an ordinary push through.

Somehow something inside me as it were just kind of arises and dispels this ominous cloud and its baleful outcome. Its the same kind of 'energy' it feels like when I have been very ill and then all thought is suspended. This miraculous 'spirit' arrives.

When I had suspected lymphoma and I sat with my late dear brother Wolf in the cancer clinic which was opposite the kidney dialysis clinic in Northwick Park Hospital and idly watching the clinic TV strangely enough the ' Good Morning Show' with Richard and Judy in which I was interviewed in 1992 with two others about our NDE, I wasn't really paying attention and suddenly, spontaneously I felt I am healed I am well not so much in words just a joy a feeling at gut level, an energy feel and I said I was going out to the carpark for a walk and Wolf said you can't walk, your too weak and shaky and I did and the consultant was amazed when I came back in, this has occurred in other worrying hospital visits.

I don't want to be arrogant but maybe I should in a way; was it God The great Spirit arousing in me a sort of energy of healing or lifting, was it angelic. With my lack of trust it seemed unlikely. However, in these moments I go quiet, there is no thought, it is like a deep meditation, perhaps my will,  my ego is suspended and The Great spirit has space and a channel to join with Itself and the channel is unblocked and Life meets Life without the hinderance of self imposed presumptions and wilfulness.  

What is frustrating with all this help I still am lacking trust and rue that trait in my character and personality and although my intention is to let go and let God, my skittish ego upsets the 'apple cart'.

'Lean not thy own understanding' Amen

SHACK