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| Courtesy Quote Fancy |
Until about one year ago I was able to walk and be going hither and thither and then the Covid Jab did something to my nervous system and my left leg started to stiffen and an accident that ruptured my Achilles Tendon some two years previous started to really cause me to become lame in that leg, so much so I have to rely on a rollator device to walk at all.
Then four months ago I fell and broke my right wrist and injured my left elbow. I am now disabled and have to have carers to assist me. From a very athletic and busy life to now being flat bound from activity of travelling all over Europe and to Canada, living wild in Spain and presenting 720 workshops, seeing 3,000 patients and doing a Forensic technicians job, many plane and train journeys and driving over 250,000 in my lovely Volvo car to suddenly face incapacity and at first despondency and boredom although I can do seated Qi Gong and still meditate my inside world as it were was on going however somehow the lack of outside stimuli seemed to bother me.
I do not care for much TV and found myself watching a bit more than usual and the thought of being a couch potato bothered me and I then found that I seemed to have no goal or venture and what is my use by being here on the planet and not be able to contribute and help in these bleak times. Then what came to mind was what the Krishnamurthy said and my Sensei and Sifu, 'being alone with oneself just watch the mind wanting to grasp something, some thought, some distraction and like the hungry Ghost I have written about is never quite full' 'The mischievous monkey mind the inner dialogue and chatter' this has presented itself with utmost energy in order to get my attention solely captivated by some distraction. I realise that which many a wise person has said, just to sit and contemplate, cogitate and meditate and is only one side of the coin so to speak, I also treated clients who were serene and contemplative by nature because of their spiritual disciplines and practises but were deeply disturbed when their ego or strong emotions or worldly events presented themselves to them. I remember a great Judoka Gunji Koizumi the so called Father of British Judo and I asked him for a name for our local Judo club in Hendon and he said Shindokwai and do not forget the physical practice as well as the meditation.
A great lesson for me is to receive and let help and assistance be Ok. it did not sit with me easily, I am a great giver and did not like to receive and I realised way back I am in control as a giver and to receive is opening to another and be in their debt as it were and be vulnerable and appear weak, now I am more open and transparent and realise the opportunity without meditation just by being aware of the 'hungry Ghost Ego' trying to grab the next attractive glamorous object and tinsel and the urge to spend on gadgets and tech. I could see and can feel the pull of materialism and the urge of AI to make things appear as real just as the mind conjures up its fantasies and cravings and this reminds me of the Buddha being tempted with every distraction and holding fast to the illusion of life as it were and seeing it for what it is the dream of seduction and Jesus in the New Aquarian Bible being tempted by the temple and the most difficult beautiful maidens and lustful scenarios and in the 'ordinary' bible so to speak Jesus being tempted by the devil and showing him the world and saying bow to me and all this is yours and his reply get behind me Satan. The buddha in his Palace with all servants young and his family wearing make up and he managed to get out and saw an old man and death and then becoming a wondering sort of searcher and living the hardships of the simple life of nature and rough sleeping and simple food.
Yes I can see I want a mission to be useful, just sitting and sitting and friends saying your holding the light, no, I am not controlling what I want to do, to do nothing and let Life present itself to me and not me tell life what it should do for me. Here again the trap of doing giving and not sitting back so to speak and Let Life lead me The Tao and Dao lead me this then is when the mind is void and empty and I have nothing to do with it. I know I don't know but when I need to know I will know. What a wonderful opportunity tro watch the grasping and gasping, the slowness of the disability, the pain and the surrender to the situation what a lesson and I am grateful to Life for this seemingly new chapter and the journey it may offer.
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| Courtesy The Lions Roar |
In Buddhism, hungry ghosts, or pretas, are beings who are tormented by desire that can never be sated. Pretas, or “hungry ghosts,” are beings who are tormented
SHACK aka GEOFF
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