THE HEATON FILE
WHAT IS ENOUGH
SHACK
Monday, 13 May 2019
Wednesday, 1 May 2019
SHACK 604 REMIND
I
often ask myself what is trust, faith or belief. I do not consider myself to be trusting in a
deity or at the most when I feel lost, fearful and unwell and I say ‘please God
help me’ and forget God when all is well.
Then
there is the guilt thing; if I only ask God when I am troubled or bothered, that
is using God and not believing, I want all the help yet do nothing for it and this is hypocritical and selfish.
Then
should I be reminding myself all day that I am constantly thinking of God so as
to not use him and be a demanding child and then feel if I do not thank God
constantly I will go to hell when I die or have misfortune follow me in this life
and maybe those to follow.
Surrender
to God or in mindfulness let me be more specific; if I surrender to God and it
is not natural then I am back into the ‘must be vigilant and must pray and be in
constant gratitude’ a sort of grovelling weak dotard. Then if in my self
growth, meditative Buddhist mode I let in spurious thoughts and emotional crap,
then I miss enlightenment and suffer the karmic wheel of the pain pleasure
roundabout.
So
this torment of guilt and punishing myself for should I be more grateful,
surrender, be more holy, pious have these programmes and goals of what a
spiritual, religious, saintly or full of humbug self scripted agenda of what a
saint, enlightened seer, god person or angelic guru be like and should I
worship this way or that way, have a master, pray to a deity and if I am not
mindful will this result in me be cast aside, thrown on the compost heap, return
in many incarnations to finally be whatever my image and agenda dictates.
Yet
when the mind is at rest there are no doubts, there are hardly any thoughts or
any dichotomy’s, there is this sense of peace of love and instead of trying to
surrender and be mindful this small ’I’ this small tributary has floundered and
found the Ocean and all dualities, doubts and surrendering are melted in this
Ocean of Bliss and life is as life should be----a flow of gratitude without
strain.
SHACK
Pinterest.com
SHACK 603 NOT ON LOAN OR HIRE
The Good News Toady.
I
am one of those who constantly says ‘my’ this or that. Actually I do not own
anything. I have possessions but they either rot, I give them away, sell them
or they dissolve.
Actually
my body isn't really mine either I was an event in which my parents copulated
either intentionally or by mistake and this flesh body had no identity until it
was taught who it was. I didn't like my
name, I was named Geoff instead of Joseph because in the Second World War my
parents thought it mind sound Jewish.
Through my NDE I didn't want to come to Earth---there you go.
This
beautiful body, not because of its physical beauty but because of its
miraculous organisms and healing powers is a gift, I cannot hire another body
or loan one to live in unless a clone or some parts replaced by surgery, then
what am I, a sort of passenger, pilot, driver, tenant a mere dweller for a few
years and then go to wherever I came from or maybe there is no place I came
from. I'm a something from somewhere
else.
We
don’t own children we merely guide them, we don’t own anything or anyone, we
are gifts and forms designed mysteriously and come and go miraculously.
Not
even the largest star or planet that is in form for ever, all appears and goes and of
course time is a scale that is irrelevant. A butterfly a week or two, a human
varies from half an hour to one hundred and twenty years or so, a star several
hundred thousand years or more and so on.
Oh why hang on? Clinging to make oneself last longer or immortal in flesh and
material form, is just a waste of energy and that clinging is a false security
and dependency and when the time arrives to depart there is a fear, indeed
there is a fear throughout one’s life. Oh God one day I will die, not exist or
will I exist, I must do everything I can to stretch that time out and delay the
inevitable.
If
I own a property, an idea, my wife, kids, car and bank account, my dog my life,
my body, my worrying to preserve at all cost costs, and keep my status qua I am constantly
trusting in my own abilities and capabilities and when my strength wanes, where
do I turn to in my loss in strength and
in old age.
Maybe
by acknowledging that everything is a gift, not even loaned or hired, there is
no thing that is mine, mine is just a short term use of the gift and using it
with love and care and realising that wherever the gift came from it was a
gift, a present, something from somewhere created this gift body and all that
came over the years, so as a gift I prefer to feel it an act of love from that
Somewhere to me Somehow and that me is another Gift inside the Present, like
the box within a box.
The
fact that Someone from Somewhere gave me a gift of me and it is an act of Love
makes the sojourn here wherever here is more bearable and may I say
enjoyable.
SHACK
SHACK 601 ITS NOT GOD'S FAULT
Quora
One
of the tendencies of human characteristics is blame; it takes away the guilt,
shame and projects anger or emotion not owned onto another.
Many
of us and certainly me have blamed God for my pitiful and unhappy life at some
time or other and some permanently.
OK
this is how I see it; God an invisible mysterious intelligence created the
Universe and maybe is an on going process and she/he laid down certain rules,
after all she/he is the gaffer and entitled too. Part of he/she’s creation was to create certain
forms with an intelligence varying from basic seemingly inorganic compounds
actually to mind everything is organic in it’s own right and then varying
instincts until human and beyond to energetic intelligences of more refined
senses such as logic, intellect, self awareness and so on.
With
these more refined and seemingly higher embodiments of intelligence comes the
gifts of reasoning, analysing and intellectual discernment and amounts to free
will to either the he/she’s laid down plan or highway code or makers handbook.
Continually
breaking the highway code leads to a separation from the she/he’s code which
maybe referred too as evolution and leads to a break away and to form
lifestyles which form their own cultures, religions and therefore perpetuate these
over and over again and this in a way causes a closed group a sort of sheep pen
all bleating to the same note with perhaps a few variations and tones. Then a situation may arise in which the separate lifestyles may antagonise one another and may lead to serious confrontation and perhaps war.
She/He
does allow tolerance and a certain degree of latitude and does not punish in
the normal sense of the word. For instance if in the UK one breaks the vehicle
or cycling driving Highway Code then an accident can happen in a minor way or a
fatality. The highway Code does rely on the driver’s sense of integrity, common
sense and a reasonable amount of intelligence. In today’s living, raping and
killing nature is definitely breaching the Highway Code and the consequences
are being seen. Mind you there is a huge upgrade in progress in a natural cycle
and is causing a reconfiguration and is another step in evolution and humanity
needs to be aware and follow the new edition being laid out in instalments and
tune it to their lifestyle as requested.
Now
let us look at the She/He God plan in another way. There is no God, no
Intelligence just supposedly big bang (definitely not an AH HA inspired event) it
just mysteriously exploded and is a dull mechanistic event, no plan, no intelligence
it hotly exploded into trillions of billions of inert matter. Somehow it
attracted some of the bits together until it self taught itself to begin to
form basic intelligence from a non intelligent source equally unknown as
he/she. Both are similar as being
invisible to human senses, mysteriously appearing and maybe she/He was the
creator of the big bang and perhaps there is a common denominator somewhere.
However
the Accidental Big Bang self taught rule book also lays down co incidentally
much the same Highway Code.
It
seems to me that separation from the codes lead to the same end by destructive
elements and the upgrades apply to both scenarios.
SHACK
SHACK 600 END / BEGINNING
Many
years back I had this lovely friend and she and her husband were one of my early
mentors and her husband became a ‘sort of’ brother monk type being and we
attended many Zendo’s together and met the late Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and he
became a devotee of the Maharishi and although I knew Mahesh quiet well I
preferred the Japanese / Chinese way of ‘the way’. To me they said the same
things in different ways and appealed to ones ‘something or other’
Lana
(not her real name) was very beautiful and became a devotee of the late Sai Baba and stayed in his Ashram for a while. She has to retire from ballet as she
injured her leg and for a while was a dancer at the London Palladium. Many
years of meditation and asana’s another Guru gave her, I think his name was Satyananda
in Behar in India where she stayed for a long while and attained a great deal
of wisdom and many insights her husband Mac (not real name) preferred Maharishi
teachings and meditation. So Lana, Mac and I met regularly at their little flat
in London
For
many reasons it was time to move on and then we went our own ways. Mac remained
in the local London vicinity, Lana moved to East Anglia with a friend to live
devoting their lives to deep practice and meditation and I ended up going to
work after a failed soccer career through injury that never really took off,
nor the Cricket one either, my destiny lay elsewhere.
I
went to work at the Police Training College
During
this time I took four individual years off only after I switched from
electrician to forensics and studied at University for it to get a BS.c in
Forensics and biology then to MS.c in Electro Mechanical Engineering and also a
Psychotherapy and counselling degree at the same time doing workshops from the
late 70’s onwards all over Europe, Canada, Scandinavia and the UK, you can see
my CV in www.geoffreed.com.
I then
had numerous affairs with ladies and eventually settled and married Gilly at
Findhorn we were to together for twelve years.
I stayed at Findhorn for a year and took other sabbaticals as above.
During
most of my working years I lost my meditation so to speak and yet there was
always that ‘silent current and calling somewhere in the depths of my mind’
even during those years of endless work, travelling to destinations by air,
ship, car or train to do workshops, healing's and clinics, I really did not have
time for meditation and yet there was a something going on automatically,
unconsciously.
Then I guess I went through burnout which many folks warned me about, I was a
workaholic and two severe life threatening illnesses pulled me up sharp. Yes cancer of the lungs and followed by
cancer of the prostate. I refused
chemotherapy and in both cases went to meditation, prayer, Qi Gong, TCM and
Essiac and with grace and yes even with a sort of healthy scepticism Life gave, nay granted me an extension. The lung cancer turned to glandular fever and the prostate was benign after definitely being carcinogenic, a spontaneous remission as was that with the lungs.
At
the end of 1999 I took early retirement from everything, still did a few odd
workshops and healing's at the clinic, and then by 2002 moved to where I am now
to recover from both illness and start up my meditation and concentrate on the
writings and just be, meditate, do juicing, Qi Gong and rest. I did not realise how world weary I had been
and even now in 2018 I have not fully regained strength and deep inner peace
and yet that auto something as above kicks in now and again and that peace,
that grace is all I seem to need, it doesn't come when I plead for it and meditate
and I can get to empty mind but it is an invitation and something in me
recognises it is humming away in the background.
When
I used to meet with Mahesh he seemed to be in meditation all the time and his
eyes would kind of switch on as if he was on ‘stand by’ mode. My Sensei and Sifu had that alert relaxed
mode as well and if one tried to jump on them as we rascals did now and again
they would react so fast that the shock threw one over.
Some
years before all this when Gill and I parted around about 1978, I missed her
like mad and there was a mourning healing time and then on a very rare occasion
as if it really mattered that something in the background of my being would
set me down and I would go deep and sometimes a rare vision and insight.
This
particular one was; a moving travelator or moving walkway appeared and I was
standing watching and then appeared all manner of women, tall, dark hair,
blond, black, brown, skins, long hair straight, curly, wavy, slender, full
buxom, all nationalities, all colour eyes and I realised there is an attraction
to each combination and they changed into many and I loved them all, not
sexually just realising their form was not them, this healed me of Gill and
then came a trial with other short term affairs each wonderful and then
realising similar to SHACK 21 Angel Face, I did walk away but it was mutual, we
realised the quest was in ourselves and our inner unshakable peace.
Just
lately as I approach my eightieth year in November 2018 I have had similar
visions on my moving walkway, cars, houses, money, exotic places, fame and I
know what Lana meant. Also I know what Sensei meant when he said when I was in
anxiety at Judo Championship (Another story in SHACK) only necessary to enjoy.
Since
I do not really want anything but the bare necessities, of course I am not a
saint or guru and I do get the odd urge; perhaps a better flat, a small car and
bit more money and then I feel this peace with my lot, you may say this is my
age and years, yet I realised when many said I was weak, too laid back, said I
was a coward and so on, not ambitious, not motivated, much of this is true,
yet there is this NDE experience which I
did not want to come to Earth, I find the Earth beautiful in nature but hard in
humans, I have been told I am to yin, vatta, pitta and that I am vulnerable I
own up to that, sensitive yes, used to be hurt not realising all material goods
perish, bodies and cars do, so like sand or ice grasped they slip through your
fingers or melt and heaven knows in my forensic days to see endless corpses,
terrible torture, misery and sometimes no motive and apparent senseless murder,
it would have been easy like so many of my colleagues to get blind drunk,
bitter or go into some kinky distraction, yet from my Buddhist days and then
into Quantum Metaphysics the endless play of possibilities and probabilities
like the popping in and of matter to source and back again to form, atoms
99.99% empty, enough to drive one crazy as Bohr said ‘if you understand Quantum
and atoms you really haven’t a clue’(that’s my take on his quote). Then the
endless pain in workshops and my participants stories along with the
psychotherapy, counselling, healing sessions more pain and suffering.
Yes
those missing years at work regarding formal meditation, those years of
travelling and meditation, Tai Chi, Qi Gong bad eating habits, anxiety and
illness along with the horror of forensics the clinics, workshops and all that
were actually showing me one lesson; There is no such thing as forever: if one
sets one thing in concrete and relies even on several things i.e., a
relationship, health, business, money, fame and so on this very reliance brings
a false security and when it goes or ends there is loss, grieving and despair,
suicide, bitterness, no hope. So one is on the travelator the moving walkway
but not on it just observing and like clouds, enjoy their shape, texture and
colour and let it pass, do not press the ‘stop halt red button’ and cling to
just this or that, because someone will press the start green button and one
will be on the walkway bound to the journey which will eventually come to an
end and that which one clung too and the object will end as well and maybe one
will search endless other walkways all ending in futility as one realises there
is no such thing as forever in Life’s forms physical or mental, so stop the hankering
for a solid forever and that anything outside one is lasting, it evaporates and
let it evaporate and become a transparent see through and in that know one is
safe as an observer and that is all.
No
cling film and even that is transparent.
So
the end is the beginning and the beginning is the end and one is neither. So do I lay in bed and just be in the peace and joy of no mind or do I get up and do the same?
SHACK
Post Script
In 1973 Dr Edgar Mitchell Astronaut and Electro Engineer Willis W Harman PH.D set up the Institute of Noetic Sciences and I joined and was granted an associate membership and became very friendly with Edgar. It was through Edgar I got to associate with NASA. In 2008 I got my PH.D in Metaphysics with a brief to bridge quantum physics to metaphysics through the two slit / split experiment focussing on the observer effect and talks I had with my late cousin Professor Cyril Wolf and correspondence with various scientists about the observer effect.
It was because of the Institute of Noetic sciences that I had the courage to go out of main stream science and became very unpopular with many academics. That is why I started my writings from 1967 onwards and online in 2005 through the media of the late www.energygrid.com and salvaged most of blogs from this very large and amazing online magazine and journal in www.geoffreedarchive.bloggspot.com
The Institute of Noetic Sciences
The
Institute conducts research on topics such as spontaneous remission,[8][9] meditation,[8] consciousness, alternative healing practices, consciousness-based
healthcare, spirituality, human potential, psychic abilities, psychokinesis[9] and survival of consciousness after bodily death.[10][11] The Institute maintains a free database,
available on the Internet,[2] with citations to more than 6,500
articles about whether physical and mental health benefits might be connected
to meditation and yoga.[8]
Headquartered outside Petaluma, California,
the IONS is situated on a 200-acre (81 ha) campus that includes offices, a
research laboratory and a retreat center (originally the campus of World College West).[12] Its
current director is Cassandra Vieten. Other researchers associated with it
include Dean Radin and Rupert Sheldrake
This of course was at the time the only institute of its kind and another one I joined is The Doctor Healer Organisation / network and through these two Institutions and my many travels throughout Canada, Spain, Belgium, Germany, UK and Scandinavia I had the privilege of meeting many well known celebrities, doctors, healers, Shaman, lawyers, politicians, astronauts, scientists, mystics, judges, lawyers and great people who did not have degrees or appeared 'ordinary' and had gifts of wisdom and spiritual acumen far beyond mundane belief. Then of course my Sensei and Sifu in Japanese and Chinese Arts. My trials at Soccer and Cricket which never took off, and my transition from electrician to Forensics.
The main key event the NDE(near death experience in 1942) in High Wycombe Buckinghamshire which gave the notion through the years of there was another realm other than this Earthly life experience and started the quest and still burns within me.
SHACK 599 NOT THE END
UNDERMIERLIVRE
Suicide
You have smashed the TV
But not the programme
No aerial
But still the signal
SHACK
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