Working with colleagues can be a very interesting observation. One colleague had many girlfriends and was
married twice. In the lead up to the second marriage and in the courting time
for some reason I never fathomed out he would start cooing and imitate a pigeon
call and look adoringly and mystically at her with a sideways glance and she
would call back coo, coo. He would then
start to flutter his arms and say endearing words. Many who witnessed this
laughed and Gill my partner and I often chuckled.
I suppose you can say I was judgemental and snobby
yet it seemed to give me a sort of nauseous Yuk feeling and it provoked a sort
of slushy sentimental sloppiness.
Perhaps I was jealous or it took me out of my comfort zone.
However having found a modicum of inner peace and
feeling of the ego bits I left behind or just melted regarding sentiment and
fantasy I felt the cooing and so on were just massages for the ego and its
constant demand to be loved, the centre of attention and all powerful in which
ever way it can obtain it, even to self abuse, defacement or brutality and cruelty
and of course a mixture of both in which tactics and reconfiguration and
manipulation with extreme dexterity and manoeuvrability were employed.
I was viewed by the couple as strange and nonconforming
and wondered why Gill was with me. The second marriage broke up and a number of
attempts and girlfriends failed as this over the top emotional plea for
acceptance failed when the partner gave up on the constant demands for
reassurance and love calls not returned.
I had a girlfriend for a short while who was
American(it would not matter what nationality) and she would through the course
of the day say ‘honey give me sugar(kisses)’ her voice drooled and I could
almost see saliva oozing out as her voice crooned the words. I like and enjoyed
kissing her but not to order and she admitted she needed constant support and
admiration and the interesting point was she was a psychiatrist and had been
married four times and had a line of eight boyfriends before myself.
I admit I had a lonely and broken childhood and I
found Sensei and Sifu and with the arts and meditation came through a lot by recognising
emotion of the ego and its demands and what is compassion as in contrast to
love.
More about this in the Post.
SHACK
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