Walking around the halls of residence the halls,
doors and rooms are numbered and labelled. One becomes familiar with the layout;
the lecture theatres, the classrooms, the dining rooms and the academics
studies and residences.
Then it was decided to refurbish an alter certain
buildings and though some entrances and approaches were the same some of the
numbering and locations were different.
I took time not to go to the previous room and
places, many of us would find us going automatically to where they were before
and suddenly pulling up short---oh no it’s changed ---where the dickens is it
now.
How strange a habit born out of familiarity is, it
becomes a route and automatic thing, ones awareness is suspended and we go
automatically like a pre planned programme of a robot.
Many of us go through life not questioning
following unconsciously our routines and disciplines. We wake up when these are challenged,
transport strikes, some disaster, an
unusual event, our reaction maybe one of resignation, frustration or philosophical,
or we could be in denial, fearful, angry, violent, or search for a solution in the hall
of residence of our mind archives.
In contrast to this in meditation and going to an
experience outside ‘the box’ or no experience at all, the suspension of the internal
dialogue and incessant mind chatter that most people do not know is there
because it is constant, like those who need music, the TV and radio on continually, always
on the mobile / cell phone, doing, doing, are surprised when they first hear
and witness their own chatter which is a running commentary and is the pilot in one’s life.
This cacophony, this clatter, this ghetto blaster
(type of large radio) this graffiti which daubs the mind when realised is
blamed and not owned and is a shock, then one investigates and may not like
what one sees. It is in these rare moments of quietness when we realise this is
our safety net and not the turbulence and noise, the frantic manoeuvres and
ploys is not who we are and the search for who are we begins---the world is never
the same again; why so? ; the chatter, clatter, routine, habit are mere
constructs taught and drilled into us, little holes in the innocent mind filled
like the dentist and their fillings with politics, religion, culture and
chatter and social ability, no matter, when we lose the memories of this with nothing else we go back
to factory setting and the old coping mechanisms.
Suddenly one day thoughts become very noisy when
the mind is quiet, alive, alert, observing and non judgemental the dams sluice gates are open and one sees the clutter in the attic floating out and that was the old you--- one is now emptying oneself and feels good and it doesn't matter if there is nothing to replace it.
There is a shift; ‘I know that when I need to know that
I feel safe, have the knowledge the habit and so on ---to ‘I know I don’t know
but when I need to know I will know’. Even that maybe not enough but it will suffice for the time being---giving one space to dive deeper into the mystery that is me/ you / us.
SHACK
No comments:
Post a Comment