I’m
doing everything I can to hold onto this form.
Pills, exercises, diets, fear of illness and
facing the unknown.
My life is safe as it was before, at least I knew
where I was and although at times not pleasant it was reluctantly acceptable.
I’m in a nice flat, just got enough money to
survive and yet mentally, psychologically there is a turmoil gong on at just
under the surface levels so to speak. I am not depressed just wondering. I know
I am in chaos and it’s OK because I recognise that it is leading me to a fundamental deep change and will make space for something to arise or subside.
It doesn't matter if this form doesn't make it as a physical renewal, it is the
process that is important, for that process is beyond my ken.
Glimpses of the possibility of letting ‘deep life
alchemy' take place is exciting and yet fearful, these glimpses taunt and tease
me and the only encouragement in this process of radical change at the cellular
level. The dissolving old me as it were
shudders at its demise and there is a space which is filled with mourning and
withdrawal.
Maybe this change is so fundamental there may not
be a me as such.
SHACK
Good Read
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