SHACK 1003 SCRATCH HEAD

Active Rain

 Sometimes when I have finished with the computer stuff and have been busy with concentrating I feel a change of mode and mood, a sort of loss and what next?

I catch the energy of 'must be doing' and I am not fulfilled if I am not doing something that includes reading or watching TV documentaries or incoming documentaries via emails or the net.

Yet I do feel that 'doing from not doing' is more fulfilling and energising. I don't  have to scratch my head to think what shall I do, I am less if I am not doing. My old bosses used to say 'look busy, keep occupied; I do not pay you to hang around, find something to do'.

In the world's eye 'hanging around' can seem lazy and yet if genuinely felt and not annoying or depriving the boss of his money is in my view very OK, of course in my view just distraction out of boredom or alcohol, drugs just fantasising just plain bored this it would seem to me just a waste of time and one could meditate, do qi gong, yoga and so on, however that is not everyone's idea of 'good use of spare time'.

I guess this a deep reaction and prompt from a accepted world brain washing edict. One of my bosses was a busy chain smoking scheming kind of guy and he would sort run everywhere with short staccato steps and say to me 'hurry up and keep looking concerned and speedy and yet I kept pace with him and could have outlasted and gone further ahead, which he did not like I had to be with him not at back or in front'.

When I was 'boss' I said to the guys 'if you have nothing to do and have cleaned and prepared the kit and ready to go, by all means make a cup of something and read the paper and so on don't jump up when I come and pretend to look busy, also you can go out to shop within walking distance of the workplace, chalk board that you out or let someone know, keep your pager on and charged and as long as you have done that, do not pretend or run for cover if you see me out as well. Also if I hear rumours I will bring the rumour mongers and their accused together.

My old boss did not like this attitude when I was promoted; he said' you must not be too easy they will take advantage of you, be a right arsy bastard, make them jealous by giving favours so that they will want to please you, also discourage them joining a trades union (the one I and the staff were in was the 'Civil service technical Union' Professional Civil Service Union and before that when changing from an electrician to Forensics 'ETU' Electricals Trades Union maybe now amalgamated with other Unions)) and I used to say to the rep my office is always open for discussion and do not let acrimony take place in secrecy and I appreciate previous management discouraged this, lets have it out and in the  open. 

Eventually due to a disagreement over my style of management the senior bosses like bosses over bosses decided to move me to the laboratory and under a manager as her assistant and eventually becoming the boss again. It was known that when I was 'boss' our work rate was commended and our cases earned a higher percentage of clear up. However old entrenched ideas are held fast.

SHACK

The awareness, the witness to Life, that is Life witnessing Itself it then becomes aware of what is not of Itself. Life has given free will to some of its sentient forms and as such humans have the relative freedom to think and form their own creative means and have therefore gone astray from Life's basic intentions. Life shows us through Its creations a sharing, symbiosis and as of this 2021 and before humans have strayed only sometimes in business and through necessity.

The out of sync patterns and modes of behaviour and beliefs with the basic tenets of Life caused by cultural, religious, philosophical and political beliefs and the differences between  countries and the above tenets and these being inculcated a ring fence is formed and these are corralled into an assumed reality named as an entity as the ego.

The ego is then based on hand me down grain washed beliefs and has no real substance. The ego is aware of its frailty, its no real solid foundations as in fact all form has and like nature has birth and death however not natures source which is the formless and in fact the world of form is dual and so Life Source is invisible and yet its forms are visible and tangible and so duality is has come into being.

Because the nature of the ego is frail it has to become more and more, layers in order to hide its nakedness and fragility and is afraid of admitting vulnerability and so it has to constantly be doing as in the above Scratch Head in order to justify and prove to itself, I am alive and wonder how it is because it knows not of its creation and realises it is at best a very clever imitation of Life and if nature is Life in action and I am divorced from nature Life I have opted to oppose and diversify and yet do not have the creative abilities accept given to me by Life and yet I am destroying the life forms and I am the dictator with my technology and have lost my compassion so I know at my found -less roots there are no roots to me, I am a floating lot of flotsam and jetsam in in nowhere which is a false belief in somewhere. When I believe I am grounded rooted and established Life is denied me; Life is denied me by death and also realising I am set of patterns, programmes, statistics, agendas which were taught to me, pounded into me, rhetorically drummed into me and startling so there is no real me, I am bunch of ideas and can be juxtaposed, manipulated and swapped and therefore not fixed and semi real in existence then I have to keep doing for doing proves I am alive and no matter how many changes and complete new beginnings to another programme I discover they are just the same mechanisms running, so this leaves me with a choices; either completely fool myself they are real and cement this idea and concretise or live with a compromise and a niggling uncertainty.

However Life Itself has the knowledge of the certainty It does exist and wishes to share this with Its creative forms however the ego clouds this by its own forms. Life through Its Love and Compassion allows this and like a child allows with unconditional love to go its own way and eventually when the ego fully recognises its frailty it might endeavour to find out what lies beyond the ring fence of its belief systems and agendas and so begins the Quest to Find who it really is and finally to find the found-less foundation-----and even that has no real tangible essence and it is an intimate deep knowing of who one really is and in fact there are not many selves and there is the ONE.