SHACK 1009 SKULL CAP

ALAMY

The image above is not exactly descriptive; however it suffices as part of one of these difficult explanations of a mental mind spark as it were.

It came as a black skull cap very much like the Jewish, Muslim and Pope(white) wear in white or black and the piece that covers the forehead just above the eyebrows was jagged and that exposed the jigsaw.

The jigsaw did not have a definite picture but as the pieces of the skull cap were gradually peeled back it revealed a piece of the jigsaw puzzle, sometimes in a single piece or a few that formed a kind of piece that no longer fitted the puzzle. 

The jigsaw represented to me the ego and its programmes and the basic 'centre' piece was the core of my agendas and brainwashed inheritance, which suggested that the nuances the 'pure or innocent' foetus which was a nervous system of energetic magnetic waves in a small containment field triggered and brought in or attuned by resonance and entrainment by the actions of the sperm and egg and then made more organic and 'flesh like' and was indelibly and imprinted, embossed, engraved into the field of frequencies forming a sort of matrix, a womb within a womb, and kind of formed an unconscious set of basic frequencies which were those of the mother and others around at conception, pregnancy, birth and then the formative years.

This background 'buzz' are the urges and reactions of the unconscious mind as it were, it is unconscious until it is recognised as an imprint and if you like a hand me down, second hand conditioning and because the baby, youngster did not have the awareness and reasoning intuitive faculties and the potentialities to figure this out it becomes the reality and bits and pieces are added through life and is only an adornment and an embellishment, a sort of variation on a theme, this is so deeply engrained and rusted in as it were that to change this fundamentally is nigh impossible for most of us.    

When something happens; something like an awakening, a loss, an accident, a shake up of a severe nature or just a realisation through some event or other, one can begin to see that who I am is a set of someone else's mind sets with a few innovations, this relatively fixed or cemented rigid set of patterns are the ego and one's 'inside the box' as it were.  

So the search, should one be interested, should one be piqued and the curiosity aroused beyond TV, texting continuously, endless surfing the net, avidly engrossed in supporting one's sporting team, an alcoholic, addicted to sex or any other distraction, even to the point of obsession and mental illness, then one maybe gripped to start the 'QUEST' who am I when I realise I am a hand me down with a few tweaks here and there on a basic instinct not like a natural instinct from nature and its inhabitants but an inherited one and it contains the culture, religion, the politics, the like and dislikes, which form the basic core and once thought of one's own reality.

The shock can be profound and as the image above suggests one piece of the jigsaw may go and when the pieces begin to fall apart and this happens then the deeper one goes into the 'forensics' of this once supposed was 'me' and now fear may enter as one realises there can be many jigsaws 'inherited' into the mind set and maybe there is no mind set, that is set and solid only that 'we may believe its so' and it is better than being without one at all'.

So the Quest may lead one to the edge of the mind, and a mind maybe a space filled with content, that is the brainwashed inherited 'self' and when the realisation dawns perhaps there is no such being as 'self' and self is just a construct of beliefs and they can be  juxtaposed, justified ah la core principles (and whose principles are they? maybe thinking they are mine or are they?) and we realise I have been taught to be who I am and then realising I thought I was a free thinker and original and so when the content is removed as the image below what do I fill the space with.

Dreamstime

Then one can panic; that emptiness when all the inherited stuff has gone, not supressed or pushed down, yes a clean break, at first it clings and brings a longing for a secure foundation, however realising all things are swappable one religion for another, one politic for another and so on and every so called solid form be it a star or person, animal and idea are impermanent, the so called atom 99.99% empty and yet we seem solid enough, or do we? Can drive one away to distraction and materialism.  

Then one can go on and be a fearless warrior and not run from the supposed boring nothingness and like a diver explore the imagined darkness and terror of the 'empty mind' and find there is an inexplicable incomprehensible 'something' that is light, without thought that one is accustomed to and it has a 'realm of its own' and it is of Itself and one realises this is 'ME the Self'.

SHACK