I feel real fatigue as it were does not arrive from the lack of exercise, ill health, lack of good food and pollution although these maybe contributing factors.
I feel that over the many incarnations the life styles and identities have left subtle ingrained tendencies, like the impressions left on carbon paper or heavy handed drawing or writing that has left impressions on the sheet below.
These impressions can leave a subtle almost imperceptible nuance and as the gradual awakening to what is life, who am I, how the Universe come into being? Suddenly or gradually an realisation begins to dawn as an experience in this life hearkens a silent back of the mind faint recollection, a sort of silhouette, the merest smidgeon and it can start of a pathos that maybe unrelated to the experience now viewed.
These lifestyles and innuendoes of these latent feelings are not fresh as a wonderous child and somehow have this feeling of 'old hat' and so the synaptic cascade does not feed the mind and body, it seems flat and unemotive.
This might explain when in nature I find it beautiful in a haunting way and many of life's experiences. It feels now I write this 'I have done this so many times before, I am an Old Soul come back to finally claim my birth right. I've seen it all before, over many lifetimes, the assumed identities the lives of being many computations and configurations, the feeling and emotions and now the realisation that these are not fresh and so my body and mind cannot draw on new energies, it is time to die, to, the old and the many identities and indeed this one.
It is only in stillness, quietness naturally absence of thought that a renewal of spirit , of mind, not so much to the sluggish ageing body as I recognise this now in my childhood and youth, not the failure and lack of health, strength and pursuing athletic accomplishment, relationships, NO it is like I have done this in so many lives before and now it is time to seek fresh pastures and these are not in any form that has arrived and gone before. Old stale energy drawn from old dark memories leaving subtle indelible yet so faint as to be almost not there and of course the energy from this source is dwaining, dwindling as the battery runs dry, no wonder fatigue sets in.
Be still and know that renewal is within me and this has no form only to fill the Spirit Revive and then -------?
SHACK
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