SHACK 4053 PETARD

Courtesy  54% off

When one puts all of their eggs in one basket as the old adage goes then there is a situation of no recovery if they all get broken. The psychological aspect of putting one's beliefs as circumspect and is advised.  The fact of inculcation and the cemented one way street that may follow leads one to agonise when it backfires and one realises 'I was hoisted by my own petard'.

One can get so deranged by the trap of inculcation and not realising that one was inculcated, conditioned and one is and was conned by someone else's ideas and it might be at an earlier age and when one was innocent and naïve that anger and resentment ensue and in many cases some mental derangement and perhaps a Don Quixote syndrome and every body becomes the windmill. 

 

Courtesy Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra   

When we awaken to the conditioning, the brain washing we were exposed too, even though it may have been lovingly administered and passed on from generations by well meaning folk it never the less can put many of us in a straight jacket and self imprisonment, we may have felt this is the only way after all generations have done this, and this is my path and my parents and peers all were loving and kind accept a few times I strayed from the tradition and life style. I knew nothing and accepted it hook line and sinker. I was fine until I challenged the tradition, my gradual questioning came about in many ways, I was told that questioning the beliefs of ages was not on, this is the only way.

Courtesy sbe.org.gr

I was born free but was born into a Jewish family and brought up as a Jew. Because of the war years many woman and children were evacuated out of London to avoid death and destruction, so my Jewish upbringing was sparse. When we came back to London I was not au fait with Hebrew and it was near my barmitzva (an initiation) at 13 yrs of age so I was sent to a Chasidic school and was exposed to radical inculcation to say the least. I was told that we were the chosen race and everyone else were worms and heathens. I had to follow the ten commandments and if broken I will be severely punished by God. Then after barmitzva (girls had bus mitzvah at sixteen) if remembered another 110 commandments were added and if broken one would go to hell after death and be punished during this life as well. Mind you other religions and faith have their fears instilled into them and guilt.

I then studied the five books of Moses, The Torah / Chumash and to my consternation I was shocked, the animal sacrifices, the killing and genocide and when I questioned this I was told God had his reasons and when the Messiah came he would tell us all of this and explain it. Other faiths have their versions and the guilt and shame is evident if you research them, I can only relay my experiences.

Fortunately for me in this Chassidic school we had Hebrew in the morning and English non Jewish teachers in the afternoon one of them was Judo ka named Frank W Nash and he got me into the Budokwai as it was then in Lower Grosvenor Place Victoria and I was so young I went into the ladies section and first teacher was Irene Donahue a police women this would have been in 1952 (also Arsenal interest as a junior back article) then the Budokwai moved to Gilston Road Kensington in 1957. My first Sensei was Gunji Koizumi 8th Dan and Frank Nash 5th Dan and Sensei Koizumi named our little club Shindokwai which we ran in Stamford Hill, in back articles I relate how my spiritual Sensei met me and gave me a Koan, he was a head monk of some sorts one of the Yamabushi dojos.

By subscribing to my own made beliefs as a means to find security and a steady base, a reality and then collapsing as the realisation came 'they are just homemade inculcations' constantly exposed me to realise I was self imprisoning and repeatedly 'hoisted by my own petard'.

My exposure to Zen, meditation and Judo, Aikido, Kendo contrasted greatly to Chassidic and old Testament values and I left the religion much to the distress of family. The the shattering of my mind with the Koan, the NDE and then inculcation, Nowhere to hang my Hat, The Empty Atom and so on, the workshop presentations, forensics led to the dissolving or at least to sense of the core deep embedded issues and so much more in back issues and and articles. Still there are distant echoes that try to pull me back and raise shady subtle doubts but the quietness and less impact of fear and anxiousness are producing 'slaughtered by silence', what was being slaughtered, I know not, but it is a relief. 

SHACK aka GEOFF