SHACK 4052 GRIP and SLIDE

 

Courtesy   Rope and knots

This is about perceived reality. Some say there is no such thing as reality as an incontrovertible fact and science may be able to prove that such as the empty atom and in Buddhism everything is impermanent and transient and so on.  

From an existentialistic point of view we are supposed to form our own philosophies, life styles and spiritual religious, political and our affiliations yet as previous articles have alluded we base many of our ideas and beliefs on inculcation, conditioning and plain brain washing.

When we take on board that we are brain washed to a certain extent then we can wonder who are we when that element of inculcation is removed or seen through as 'I have been taught most of who I am so who is the real me', this can mean our beliefs our central core of our being can be the 'reality' which can be for the rest life and exposure to to other inculcations can be a challenge and in some instances a dire threat and lead to severe outcomes.

This can lead to a an entrenched grip on this as 'my reality my existence my life' should one realise this and shy away from exploring it further then ones reality becomes so fixed and sure becomes shaky and the foundation becomes vulnerable and a cover up, excuses follow to shore up the cracks that may occur, many use distraction as wall paper over the solid wall of decor which one is familiar with and so a feeling of safe in the familiar and so the reality of the norm established.

However, perhaps the cracks widen and a mild discomfort follows and one's curiosity is piqued and it causes an energy from within and says ' who am I' and the grip on a former reality begins to weaken and the first signs of the slide may begin.

For me when this happened through a Koan it was a shift and I have relayed this in previous articles, a shift without any explanation or meaning, it was Zen Blast as it were. However this did not match the work I was employed in and a sort of duality arose and I was in a sort of limbo, half in a freedom of a sort and half in the world, to make a living, relationships that differed from my own world view or rather the lack of it, the shallow use of hoarding, success and other worldly achievements, I was a world ethos failure, non ambitious because I could see the impermanence and transience and did not understand why and my NDE stuff on top of it. So I went through the grip and slide process just like mountaineers do only mentally and psychologically. 

At times like Van Gogh doubting my sanity as I yoyoed between desperately hanging on to my worldly life and its paradigms and my friends and family expectations of me and my feeling of freedom of something growing in me. This growing was not accumulation it was shedding becoming empty, which took me back to the Koan. Dare I trust this no thought emptiness I was feeling, no my intellect and logic, my academic scientific mind must know, understand pick it to pieces, I must know by reason and logic that when I could understand I was safe, I knew, I knew and as long as I had that feeling I was safe. 

 It turned out with the worlds affairs especially for the worlds population a virus with lockdowns turned the world's norm upside down and some tried to rebrand the world to the Eugenics, technocracy and New World Order and many could not cope with the change and mental illness now abounds. What of my former beliefs they cry, wars and atrocities, assassinations the atrocities of broken cities, ruins and displaced peoples brought about a subtle often ignored unrest, a silent nagging anxiousness which many took the digital media network for relief and distraction. Who are we when our familiar society and its ethics, morals and standards are dissolving with foreign people flooding our shores and values with crime rates and suicides soaring and prisons over populated and letting prisoners go and so committing the crimes they were sent down for again, a world in chaos, many ignoring it, until their taxes and hand outs dry out, the super rich ignoring the plight of the homeless and women and child massacres, politicians fraught with world economics and wars that threaten atomic centrosphere.  

It hit me and then I realised the empty mind bit was for me the solution or was it. I had faced the shock psychologically with articles 'Nowhere to hang my hat' I had come to 'no mind empty atom' many years back with no mind through the Koan and in science with the empty atom. So it is easy isn't to let go the lock downs suited me, although it took me a while to realise what they were up to with my findings in my blog www.geoffreed.com and the anger I felt that the authorities could stoop so low to do this and the corruption thereof and many making millions of our false lock downs, vaccine damage.

Then came the slide good and proper as they say; I gradually started to feel it's OK to do absolutely nothing and strange lethargy came about aided by a left leg problem, suddenly my eating habits changed, my stalwarts started going, my sleep patterns, I gave up rituals and disciplines, I felt them ludicrous in some instances, I was aware of 'my' awareness. I did not have to meditate to be aware of awareness, I sense it is me, I am awareness and I don't have an explanation or description of it, it is not tangible as it were. I do not have do anything to be aware of awareness. By the way it is OK to have thoughts drift through a naturally empty mind they seem floaty and high in the sky so to speak letting them go the awareness will bring the important ones to mind.

I am not afraid of losing my 'beliefs, former theories, ideas, life styles' I am losing my inculcations, a few of them stick to the side of the pan and I kept saying to friends I have never been in this space before and yet I have, I did not want to trust the instinct I do not know and I don't want to find a reason, I found the reason came spontaneously and not by the old logical, academic intellectually think things through, albeit some things do have to be thought through incorporating every day ordering of food, cleaning the flat, paying bills.

The slide is now like a helter skelter and I still don't why and it's Ok not to know that I know 'I know I don't know but when I need to know I will know' Big Head.

I am not enlightened I am just a do not know much. Yes I write what I feel and it feels alright for now and there is only the now.

SHACK aka GEOFF