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| Courtesy-------Tutti Taygerly |
The underworld or the world of Darkness, Hell, The Pit or endless hole of suffering, hopelessness, depression, mental torment, pain and self reproach, despair, suicidal obsessions without actually doing it. No way out, escape nigh impossible, who knows of such a place or dimension, where does this never ending nightmare begin or end, worlds of purgatory and unimaginable suffering. The whiplash, the backlash, the branding fiery iron of the burned flesh and stench of evil, the rotting flesh of deeds against humanity, the mass graves, the unbelievable Uranium bombs, genocide, profit over nature, the rape of children and women and so much more.
When I spoke to Sensei and Sifu they gave me a warning; 'if you start on the path of true meditation, not just a panacea, or a sticking plaster over the turmoil and unrest and 'meditate' on nice poems and prayers, affirmations, chanting, fantasies intentions, soothing music and only pleasant aromas and incense with massages of the mind and body this is not the path of the true seeker '. Many a mentor urged me to be alone in quietness, loneliness and watch the mind, rather the content of the mind such 'attention without intention' for me a martial arts person I was told better to be a spiritual warrior, to face head on the boredom and live with content's of the mind, I faced the fear and dread, the ecstasy and sublime and battled with hunger, poverty, rejection, hate jealousy and all the debris of the the patients, the crimes witnessed in forensic with the stench, severed limbs the aftermath of IRA bombings, the parents losing babies and children, children losing parents. Facing the inimitable impending demise of oneself and the Buddhas 'everything is impermanent, transitory' and yes we are unique and yet as a blot in nature.
When I truly acknowledged and felt every horror, torture and abomination that I blamed on others were in me and more so in many incarnations before this one, it was a relief and just quiet sitting for peace and tranquillity some how put a nice perform over the rotting stench of the debris I had trapped or contained in my deep recesses of the mind, the unconscious dark lurking corridors of the labyrinth of collective karma.
I cried as I felt the hurt I caused others and forgave those who abused me and I realised the so called wasted years and yet not wasted when I could not reach the peace and quiet which I had experienced and somehow had left me. In those dark and sorrowful times I realised the ego was ruling my life, it was the unconscious patterns and programmes clamouring for their nefarious agendas, to reign supreme and the the part of me that felt intuitively this was not on and the battle to either quell, subdue or eradicate was a useless tool or strategy and all those 'wise person's saying just surrender'.
No I had to admit the utterly horrid matter was not the collective unconscious influence on me, or the nasty entities of the punctured fabric of the veils or auric sheaves by CERN or the monstrous genetical probing and prodding which some scientists were tampering with and realising that all our cells communicate with low frequency waves and we are one unified family and share these intrusions into a shared ethereal body.
However if I acknowledge I share the horrors of the wars and poverty and shy not away from the pain and silent pleas I am in the pit of despair and its fearful projections and shy not away from the fearful images and noisy shenanigans, trickery and tom foolery and see them as long ingrained human traits and looked at without judgement and blame to others, they may appear as of nothing, transparent with no real a substance unless the ever alert ego the guardian of the vault of impacted compressed material sandwiched by the layers of repetitions and inculcated pressure.
So where am I now, I seem to be in no identifiable place or dimension and not confused but recognise somehow there is no place that is a set reality or dwelling and the search is useless for everything is impermanent and transient why try to keep the block of ice in the hand from melting?
SHACK -----aka------GEOFF
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