SHACK 173 HIDDEN BEAUTY

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Agnes (name change) was dressed in drab brown full length tweeds with faded dark blond hair which was straggly and unkempt. She had pale skin which had an unhealthy look about it and had black under her eyes and puffy eye bags as well. She spoke in a tremulous voice and kept rubbing her hands together.  

I was the only therapist available and she reluctantly chose to go with me to the consulting room.  She kept her heavy coat on and it smelt of mothballs and dampness.  She said she was desperate and at the end of her tether, she had prayed and was a sort of Christian, she came to St. James as it was a church with a therapeutic ministry. I said that not all the therapists and healers were Christians but we believed in compassion and an Intelligence in the Universe named God and other names. She agreed this was what she wanted and was glad that it was all embracing as she had enough of preaching and abuse.

I said if the abuse was physical I would suggest she went to the police or social services. She said no, it was verbal, psychological and mental harassment.

I asked her if she would care to share with me the harassment.  She said it was her husband he was a well known academic, he would not have children and felt emotion was stupid a waste of energy and an unnecessary indulgence. He monitored her reading material and media activities. She was a qualified University Historian and he a well known Paleontologist. 

They did not make love, it was more like mutual masturbation and he hated it, he never kissed her or comforted her, he had changed from their University romance, especially when he got his doctorate, he felt it was unfitting for a Professor or Doctor to be ‘victim of the emotions’.

I said I would like to explore your trapped emotions by using creative imagery, drawing and relaxation through breathing. She thought this unbelievable crude and left the room.

Two weeks later she returned, looking even more frail and wan.  She had researched these techniques and would like to try even though she was not thoroughly convinced.

The first imagery was amazing.  Sitting on a wall was a character like Humpty Dumpty and he looked sorrowful and he resembled her. I asked whether it made sense if I suggested she got off the wall and did something about her situation, she looked animated and said yes. We explored this over the next couple of sessions.

The came a big breakthrough on about session seven we did another imagery I felt she would see a fruit without juice, I sometimes could feel these things, she saw a grape squeezed dry and when she shared, she told me this. I suggested she was squeezed emotionally dry by her husband and if she went on like this she could get seriously ill.  She said her doctor thought she was going in the direction of leukemia. Her husband was draining the life out her, a sort of slow death.

When she saw this from the grape we discussed ways of reinventing and energizing her.

A few sessions later as I arrived at the clinic the receptionist said to me’ look over there’.  Sitting in the corner was a stunning blond with fishnet stockings, high heel shoes, a mini skirt and dazzling make up.  The blond got up and walked towards me and she said ‘Hi Geoff’. I was stunned, it was Agnes.

This is what she did; she walked next door to Simpsons and bought a negligee for nightwear, suspenders and sexy briefs and some make up, and an assistant helped her put it on, she then went home put on the nightwear and suspenders then went into her husbands study, apparently he looked startled and aghast and said ‘have you lost your mind, get out, you look absurd’ she beckoned a sexy finger at him and said ‘Come on big Boy show me what you got’.  He asked where have you got these ideas from, she said she had been to therapy, he said I will sort this therapist out, he never did.

He freaked out and kicked out of the house, she rented a small room and left him and was getting a divorce.  She asked me to wait for her after my sessions with other clients and she wanted and even begged me to have a glass of wine with her and a snack.  We went into a wine bar I had a small glass of wine as she told me the story as above.  She thanked me for my patience and work with her.  I told her she had the images and she had this inner something and it will always be there.  I thanked  her for her kind words.

We went outside after the drink and snack, she kissed me on my eyes and cheeks and hugged me and I kissed her cheeks and had a long hug.

She went away to the tube station and I to my longish walk to where my car was parked.  I never saw her again until one day turning on the radio I heard her being interviewed over her latest book on History.

SHACK

Agnes gave me permission to tell her story(Shack)

SHACK 172 THE SHOE

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Iris saw just one shoe with flatter heels and tied up and it was as large as a house with a window and a door and a chimney.(Shack)  

I used to do a Monday evening phone in to answer any left ‘overs’ from weekend workshops and Tuesday evening for workshops abroad.

One Monday I got a call from a young lady who was not at any of the workshops but was recommended by a friend who had attended many of my presentations.

The lady said she was an artist and very visual and liked the idea of imagery which she had heard her friend tell her.

She said she had cancer of the breast and was in the final stages and there was no hope. She was resigned to passing but had unfinished business which she wished to clear up.

We went into an imagery and visualization.  The way I present them is to relax the person and then take them to a place which is suitable to unlock locked or blocked trauma. The idea was TO FEEL not think, often several attempts were made to do this, trying not to think is one of the obstacles and irritation or just falling asleep,

Making sure the person is not in trance or hypnosis and to allow feelings to float by until one seems to be the key. This young lady I will call her Iris (name change) went down a lift shaft and to a field in her imagery and there was a shoe and old type boot shoe like a witch’s shoe. (See at top Image).

I then asked her what she wanted to do, she said the shoe was large like a house and she wanted to knock at the door.  She went up to the door and knocked and was really surprised when her mother opened it.

Iris had a big problem with her mother and vice versa.  There was no love and she was born out of wedlock and her mother often to refer to her as a bastard child.  Iris had pent up feelings and could not express them to her mother and mother to her and often just ending up in shouting and fighting.

Iris was a sickly child and her mother mocked her talent as an artist.  Iris went into the shoe and her mother and she talked it out as it were.

Iris tried this at home and varied the imagery to suit.  She rang me several weeks later and said that her mother and her had reconciled the relationship and now she was happy and wanted to pass on, she said she had to hang on to finish this and she felt she may have chosen this life to do it.  She thanked me and we laughed about the shoe and so on.

Iris’s friend rang me three weeks later and said Iris had passed and she went softly and sweetly with her mother and friend by her bedside.  Above the bed was picture she had drawn of the shoe.

SHACK

   

SHACK 171 DEFINE

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What is mind?

I would love to define it.

Well I put the thoughts in it or allowed them in and then locked then into a brain hardrive and am constantly updating and reconfiguring them also adding new software.

So I have the content of my mind and can write it down and even do workshops with it and brainstorm it.

It’s like the furniture in the room with its known locations and positions which is contained and defined by the walls of logic, safety and the known and I can juxtapose all these into limitless combinations with graphics and so on.

One thing remains in the room -----what about the space.

This is not so easy to grasp and define.

SHACK

SHACK 170 BUSY

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Often being busy is doing things physically

And sometimes saps our energy

Then there is mentally busy

The chattering Mind

The Internal Dialogue

Its all the category of Doing

Even strenuous Meditation  

There is a great Art and Nourishment 

In Being 

Try not to do from doing

But to do from Being

SHACK

SHACK 169 AGONY

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He came through the door to reception with a taught drawn face, anxiety and worry etched into every furrow of his pale skin and an obviously false beard.

We went inside the consulting room and he said 'so this is what Donald has allowed here' (Donald Reeves the Vicar of St.James in Piccadilly in London UK--- he was one of the first gay priests to 'come out' and was a very brave move in those days); 

Then we tackled the fact he was in disguise and we agreed to be honest and frank if we were to work at this. He then said he was plagued by disturbing thoughts during his lectures, he refused to answer what those thoughts were so I said I knew he was the Bishop of XYZ(not London) he then broke down and said when ever he prayed or did a sermon he got hard pornographic thoughts. I then rang Marjorie;

 Rebecca Marjorie Proops OBE (formerly Rayle, née Israel; 10 August 1911 – 10 November 1996) was probably best known as an agony aunt in the United Kingdom, writing the column Dear Marje for the Daily Mirror newspaper.

I had contact with dear Marjorie and knew she ran a group for men who had these kinds of issues. I will call the Bishop, Marvin (name protected) and I phoned Marjorie from reception and Marvin heard he was not alone in this issue. It gave him cold comfort. He said the Satan had got hold of many these days and we are doomed. 

Over the course of several weeks it came out that his father was a strict disciplinarian and a Vicar, his mother wore starched aprons and kept saying 'this sex thing is dirty why didn't God let all women give birth as Mary did with the baby Jesus (immaculate conception).  They constantly said that this sex act was revolting and dirty, and the father said he had sinned by doing such a gross act.

Then mother said he was a ‘dirty little tyke as he soiled his nappies and she refused to breast feed him and forced him to potty training to get out of the ‘filth of nappies’.

I then had a hunch for in my Forensic work I had been into brothels and other places of a similar ilk and said to him in a gentle way ‘did you ever go to a lady of the night and a specialized brothel’ he broke down and sobbed and said yes.  I then elaborated ‘did she breast feed you and wrap you in nappies ‘yes’ and then crapped and urinated on you. ‘Yes he said’  How do you know of these things, I said in the course of this work you see and hear similar things. He then got onto his knees and put his head on my lap and sobbed and wept for at least ten minutes.  He then straightened up and said ‘thank God that’s out.

I then put it to him that it was not the devil who plagued him but unfinished business of trauma, guilt, shame, psychological and mental confusion.  He said he saw the logic and intellectually it made sense, but he did not think it would heal him.

I met a Spanish therapist a few years prior to this and she used the sounds that the baby hears in the mother’s womb. When Marvin came in for his eighth session I had the tape playing, he was mesmerized by it and then suddenly went into the foetal position, feet nearly to chest and yawned rubbed his eyes and cried like a baby, he then crapped himself and wet himself. Fortunately the bathroom and toilet were across the corridor and as he got cleaned up and and also the consulting room, I went next door to Simpson’s and bought him a track suit, underpants, socks and a pair of plimsolls.  He had now finished the unfinished business with his mother and was approved in his mind by her.

He had a gigantic cathartic experience and he felt he could now cope and saw the reasons very clearly and went to counseling near where he lived. He thanked me profusely and wanted to reward me with gifts and I said it was part of my work and the reward was seeing him well and I said you are a good man at heart and will now make a fine Bishop and would you give me your blessings which he shyly did.

I do feel there are entities that feed off of our fears, traumas and anxieties and vile thoughts, they live in the astral world, a dimension and sheath in our Auras; they are being cleaned out at present by the rise of the new evolutionary energies and what with the wars, environmental pollution, tainted food and water, drugs and so on our auras can get punctured and we can become possessed also these entities are on the loose and are rampant with today’s media and slush.

Shack

I was given permission to tell this story by Marvin he felt it might help others.  I often relayed stories like this in workshops and was told  it helped.(SHACK)

SHACK 168 CAUSE

teachers pay teachers

Thought causes pleasure and pain

Its all in the mind, so they say

I don't mind and you don't matter

How cruel

Yet its thoughts that do it

So remove your mind and put it on a plate

Then  look at it under a magnifying glass

Go further put it under a microscope

I bet you wish you could

Have courage

You might not like what you see

SHACK

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Here the banana skin was the cause---was it karma---its easy to blame---was she pushed or did she fall--oh the waves and thoughts---the merry go round of the chattering mind(Shack)

SHACK 167 HAPPENININGS

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The pond is still

Likewise the mind

Thoughts arise

Seemingly from nowhere

Waves ruffle the surface

Creation begins

SHACK