SHACK 1042 SHOW ME SHOW ME

TOWARDS DATA SCIENCE

SHOW ME, SHOW ME 

REALITY HE CRIED

WHICH REALITY DO YOU WANT

ANY HE PLEADED

WHAT DO YOU BELIVE IN

WELL I HAVE MY BELIEFS

WELL THEN THAT IS YOUR REALITY

SHACK

ANALYTICS SCIENCE

SHACK 1041 HEARTBROKEN BUT ITS VERY OK

Indian Express

Somewhere amongst all the squiggles and dots and dashes and circles and spirals in a bubble chamber in a particle accelerator or collider and the infinite possibilities and probabilities lay the building blocks and meccano pieces the clay with jigsaw, lego and this could be the firing of the Cosmic creators  synaptic's and axions. 

Gods mind at work selecting the particles / atoms / molecules or just mind fantasies which are made to appear real and tangible to human senses and more finer tuned energy beings. Just contemplate how focussed and intense Gods mind must be to hold things in manifestation. 

So I like the Cosmos are just arising from these squiggles and dashes and dots and a Great Intelligence collated the bits of the puzzle and plasticine and constructed what appears to us as nature and the universe and with scanning electron microscopes, lasers, colliders that begin to show us humans its not real or at least as we thought and that which we cling to just really aint there sort of. Hard to get your head around it aint it?

So we may become heartbroken once we realise all we cherish the dreams so real and precious and we cling to emotionally and those emotions so alluring and demanding, twitching our heart strings and causing an addiction to the dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins and various other neurotransmitters and of course the sceptics who believe that meditation is a release of these, yes and no meditation 'highs and peace' have been shown to be even beyond the brain and after the experience it may release the above neuro chemical hormones and so on.

So we may again become heartbroken when we realise the following; our dearest human love for a partner, friend or family are mere pleasure hormones that merely please the ego flesh body and what's more we become addicted and attached and are devastated when demise or something destroys the pleasurable interlude. Then again we see that all things are impermanent and one day we will go into another existence or not and what's the use of enjoying it and then knowing its going to end. Many might say well I have a good time and so what that's the way of all things so who cares there maybe no afterlife and just oblivion?

Then where I am now; I like everything else came out of the mind of God Almighty a vast immeasurable Intelligent Consciousness, an Intelligence and Awareness that is beyond human comprehension and certainly mine and yet I know if God decides to wipe out part of the dream as in the five extinctions and the coming sixth permanently with no upgrade and cancel evolution that is Gods will and choice. However I feel God loves the creation although human and possibly other ET civilisations who have free will try to muck up Evolution and some cooperate and assist in the evolutionary Divine Plan.

So whilst God decides to uphold the creation and I a mere squiggle that was selected out of the meccano collider, a piece out of the clay and spun around and formed by the Cosmic Potter the fact has dawned on me that I never had an identity as such in a reality that was also fashioned and all are our real essences never really existed and are held in a mind that sustains all creation and we / I  never really had an identity other than that created by my brain washed inculcation.

I have to accept that 'I' as Geoff Freed / SHACK are a brain washed ego construct and never really existed but for as a short dream manifested and gleaned from a human life experiences which up to now feel dreamlike because they are the past and do not exist now simply through memory which can conjure up the feelings like a repeat movie.

So I look at the people I know and have known alive now or passed on and realise they were projections and judgements ah la my programmes and the one's I dearly loved were like me squiggles, dashes and dots and have no real essence of OUR OWN we are and were the manifestations pulled out of the incredible possibilities and probabilities selected to be part of the Cosmic dream and such can return to the squiggles and dots with dashes and recycled. 

Without the brain washed and inculcated conditioned programmes I have no identity and at best the ones I fabricate in order to save the enormity of my non existence and the existence I have is fantasy built out of the programmes laid down as lore and law by human will.

The ego which is the collective box set of the past experience and forms them into an acceptable seemingly lasting and solid foundation with the ability to defend and attack and preserve its apparent unique and individual beingness and only cooperates with others to suit its own purpose or for those who are 'holy' out of religious ethics and is AWARE of the above frailty and is either in denial or pursuing ways of postposing, delaying the inevitable demise. 

Can the ego survive; well some say reincarnation however that meets the inevitable conclusion of the above and how many rounds or cycles will it take for the ego to realise there is no permanence in anything and the pain and realisation that the ego envisages is blank void when the fantasy world collapses by the realisation of its real essence.  However perhaps in meditation one can catch a glimpse of the 'envisaged blank void' and may be surprised at what this infers and there is a possibility beyond one's own fantasy and realise there is a mind far greater and it's fantasy is perhaps the only reality there is OR is God seeking permanence as well, it maybe because God wonders if the squiggles that is God's mind thinking and planning are real as well? Mind you in a dual Universe there has to be reality and non reality and the switching between the two cause creation.

SHACK

     

SIEMANS

SKYWELL

SHACK 1040 CRAZY BUT PERHAPS TRUE

DarkWebInsider

 

So be prepared to expect the unexpected not by a defence system psychologically a or mechanical electronic or any other assurance, you can never really can tell.

The inevitable, the unpredictable take one out of one's comfort zone. The unexpected may not come from the past(in a way it does see later) or the future(it can in a way).

It can come from the inculcated conditioning patterns and programmes as a reaction from a unconscious trigger in the ego alert system and these programmes and patterns represent reality and the norm and as such can be projected into the so called future which in this case is a rehashed and regurgitated past.

The future seems familiar and known and safe and a safety net facilitated by the programmes arrest any further explorations into the unknown. The 'norm' now established maybe pleasant or horrific and yet there maybe some extreme cold comfort I am familiar with this. In this pandemic the establishment is trying through fear and indoctrination to establish a new norm the so called 'reset' although masks are extremely dangerous to be warn for long periods many are afraid to get near to another and demask. Awareness of these 'triggers' and being in awareness without bias is the now. 

OK who is anybody? A person in a flesh body resides in it as a tenant and it is a temporary, transitory and an impermanent affair. So we come back to a sort of reality; reality is a mind encompassed and filled with beliefs, traumas, pleasures and daily railway lines of routines whether they be Cosmic or human ego stuff. It all boils down to frequencies, waves of information, algorithms. 

Its all mind stuff. For us humans we believe these scenarios are real and tangible and sort of solid in your face and touchable with the senses and yet those who know they are as real as we believe them to be and at as fundamental level they are moving something or others and then to get my head around that is difficult and I know its empty atoms and particles and yet!!!? So whoever and however we arrived here and let us suppose it is a Consciousness and Intelligent Creator I sometimes think this Source is having us on, a Cosmic joke, some traditions think so in the East and call Leila's Game.

We maybe the fantasy of a great mind and how big is a mind?

I have some great energy brewing and will leave this for another article.

SHACK

SHACK 1039 SUPER, SUPERGLUE

 
Learning and Exploring Through Play

This morning 12th July 2021 I had a restless night and morning, very explicit sexual and pornographic dreams or even 'awake dreams' perhaps even lucid dreaming. I had awoken the day before anticipating the Wimbledon's Tennis men's single title and the evening's Euro final match at Wembley. I felt 'detached and aware' yet there was and underneath  a current of tension and anxiety with excitement WHICH caused a consternation.

I of course am the master of calm and tranquillity and in control of my anxiety and subterranean 'ripples of tension' and this morning I realised how subtle and misunderstood or misunderstandings that my ego programming had fooled me again.

I was hoodwinked; instead of deep breathing and distraction and doing exercises and getting into fantasies with glamorising mind scenarios a more significant and efficacious approach might have been 'stop, halt, take stock breathe and then realise the tension, get in touch with it, stay with it, BE IN THE NOW with it. DO NOT TRY AND GET RID OF IT, JUST WATCH IT, yet the energy of the anxiety whatever trauma, event, lifetime or some such thing it arises from and to try and rid myself of this irksome energy will only fuel it up for another disguised or masked 'trick / illusion, deception, / the saboteur', because the ego sentinel has recorded the guise and how I deal with it and will then cause another camouflaged 'attack' which it feeds on and drains my energy and is its food. The predator learns how to deceive its prey with ever subtle and devious traps and snares.  

Then this morning the 12th as above and the 11th the day of Wimbledon and Wembley I realise I said to myself I'll go shopping in the morning and I bought mainly junk food for comfort and 'relaxation' 'hmmm' and realised I could not take the tension of the tennis and football and blamed it on I could feel the vibes of the nation and world wide, YET it was me fooling myself I am a real cool special forces, Buddhist Monk aware dude. What a load of poppycock.

So this morning after torrid sexual lucid or ordinary dreaming, I felt when I awakened an extreme head pressure and a realisation I had succumbed to the hype of yesterday and that is OK, was it hell, my mind baulked and then what do I do today without the TV HYPE OR 'THINGS TO DO' WAS NOT MY ROUTINES ENOUGH? No came the resounding answer and I baulked at the day ahead, what do I fill it with, I was alright before the finals at the sports mentioned and got seduced by the attractive entertainment and AFTERALL I am detached and do not care about the outcomes, I am neutral and world citizen. What a load of bollocks.

So I got up sour and disappointed and full of anger and feeling let down, not because England failed to win and yet Djokovic won yes OK,  BUT BECAUSE I LET MYSELF DOWN.

THEN it hit me full on, a broadside, a salvo, a bombardment, cannonade a repeat words in order to emphasise the impact of the revelation that followed although known intellectually and logically before; I had a set of programmes which I was aware of it seems only superficially and some of them were; sex is messy, wrong, should only be done by consenting loving meaningful lovers, it was and is holy and so am I (your kidding) Sex is a distraction especially masturbation with or without a partner, it weakens your strength, it is only a relief of tension and should not be a substitute for meditation and exercise like Qi Gong, I as master should not have to step so low and be so crude and a servant and be robbed by an emotion and energy that is so crass and gross after all am I not the Master and above these petty materialistic heinous innocuous frailties? DO you know who I am?    

My ego program then hit me full force and I realised there was this image that floated in the background a sort of subtle film or cling film like energy substance that slid into place when the tension and anxiety was triggered and it brought me down from exultation and big headed cocky noxious arrogant and appearing humble and cowardly, demeaning  outward appearance and inwardly cowardly and afraid of most things and hiding behind the façade of a degree, my past and the accolades that they furnished me with. I fully laid bare the stark facts that this was the mind programmes at play AND THAT it is hard to put into words the feeling I got that this film 'sort of overlaid my frontal lobes and third eye and I sort felt my eyes go upwards as if reaching into my mind as it were and 'FEELING' the energy of the  encroachment and intrusion into the awareness as if an awareness or stain on the shade or windscreen of mind had been actually seen, felt and hopefully another layer of the 'onion' of the mind programme inculcation and conditioning had been revealed.

My own programmes proved to be my judge and jury. God would not punish me for my sexual or any other programme, I was my own executioner and punished me by being guilty for breaking my own self imposed images and they were not God given, they were me given and who is this me I so cherish, merely a bunch of self imposed brainwashed and addicted programmes that assumed a reality and false image, a MIND EGO GENERATED, SELF GENERATED AND PERPETUATED image of a holographic nature, for I could see right through it as a film slide that was apparently floating across the frontal lobes third eye area so to speak and was so convincing it fooled me into thinking and feeling this is solid and real and my reality, my false programme said it was so.   

However I broke the spell and went out for a Sausage and Bacon breakfast which I did not enjoy and found my recent salads for me more sustaining.

SHACK

SHACK 1038 WARMTH

Bits & Bobs.Tumbir

 

A most extraordinary, profoundly significant realisation and uplifting experience in this New Moon of the 9th July 2021.

I have often mentioned my trees in the garden where I live and yet again they have brought to me an understanding beyond words. I felt a real warmth from them and more to the point a sharing, it was not from them or me, there was no personal representation. I felt warmth, a warmth beyond emotional love or sentiment or exhilaration, beyond friendship, it was ohana, real family. 

I had been contemplating a few days back that my 'blood family' as it were or relatives, cousins, mean absolutely nothing in the terms of human family, I feel all are family right now from this experience. I actually felt that the trees nature, the universe the human family were in this warmth.

There was actually no personality or individuality in this, it was non personal, it was a substrate a sort of an all encompassing field that is not solid as it were but a 'FEELING'  I felt Life and this is shared by all and sundry, there is no explanation for it or a need for reasoning it, and it is beyond intellectual and logical ponderance. This feeling of warmth with no need to analyse it or reason to accompany it was and is all that is without explanation. The point being can the ego rest in this without rhyme or reason? 

I felt no one or thing means more to me all things felt even and smooth, I felt all encompassed, cocooned in this embrace, a sort or calm grace. This was the foundation of Life, this was Life without form speaking to me and assuring me of love, fortitude and the need for a human or any family in form or companionship was not a necessity, this was the Cosmic God Universal Source of impersonal  spontaneous unconditional love.

This was love, heartfelt love, love that was eternal and sublime, divine and there is no need to have a symbol or words, it is the I AM of no form and indwells each form.

I felt that what ever happens in the body or out of it that this feeling, this magic wave and vibration so to speak was with me always even in a so called darkest hour.

I have never felt an intimacy like that sharing with trees, they shared their essence in light some SHACK's back now their silent energy love form which pervades the entire Cosmic Universe. As I looked at them I sensed we both felt this instantaneously because this field is seamless and a constant and gently pervades all and everything, it is a field of love, gently pulsing and yet smooth and without ripples it underlies and is the 'belly' of creation, it is Creation Speaking in Wordless intimacy and beyond imaginative cognitive faculties, It is a stand alone and yet not lonely feeling going beyond self worth and confidence and yet within it definite power and courage.

It has left me not needing anything from anybody in the form of approval and of course help in need or health and yet a compassion for all and the compassion arises because as forms dissolve and are on a lease and are impermanent and because of the impermanence of human frailty, death, disease and ego battles for supremacy and the constant need for approval and being top banana so to speak, the boss of the gang, the leader of the world and riches which all fade in the fullness of time and on the death bed 'yes I have had all the riches and power and I go having this with no regrets or I go wanting to take this with me and I will try to get back again, what a cruel thing to die and leave this behind and so on'.

And yet having this feeling of this warmth, then form, money, acquisitions fade into obscurity as I have in this feeling something that is not impermanent, does not die and I know that all forms although perishable do at their essence have this warmth and I will never feel alone or without family wherever and whatever.

The bonus and reward is that if one can share this with another and feel the connection then there is a bliss with trees, people, forms, nature and of course this silent feeling is in nature and there is this bond which all of natures inhabitants from bacteria to highest mountains, from volcanoes to krill and plankton, from viruses to cancer, from disaster's and wars, from mansions to homelessness from poverty to massive wealth, there is if one searches and dives deeply quietening the mind and being still and just being still and then may discover this underpinning all encompassing field of eternal bliss and happiness.

SHACK

As atoms are the building blocks and all the particles therein are the ingredient's of atoms as it were in my view they are all by the hand of the Great Spirit, so they are infused with the light and love of a loving creator. They are myriads of sparkling diamonds and jewels, droplets lit by heavenly divine love and light, this felt way back when I asked the trees in the garden to share their essence with me and found they were mine as well, in fact that they were not the trees or my essence, it was a Universal all pervading essence which all creation shared no matter what their earthly, planetary or Universal form appeared to be, because beneath the surface so to speak lay the treasure of this sparkling divine abundance of beauty and love. SHACK

SHACK 1037 SURREAL / REAL / UNREAL

Webneel.com

 

On reflection it seems that going through a world wide massive pandemic with lockdowns, vaccines, scares, lies, deceit, PCR tests and the science being lame and fake in some instances, it took most of us to question what is real, fake, surreal and then return to some sort of normality.

Returning to normality is only returning to a generally accepted set of principles, politics, tenets, accepted religions, cults and cultures all with a general overview and some deviations and variations and an attempt to force a new paradigm which included mass surveillance through Covid -tests, various tracking apps, woke -ism, severe gender definitions, culture and history cancelling, technocracy and eugenics, robotism and so on.

Basically it is like I have mentioned before; the brain washing and inculcation and the swapping of brain washed ideas once one has woken up to the fact that one is clone and taught to be who one is, we are generally hand me downs and second hand clothing. Very few can be outside of their mental prison which affords security and the known and the norm even if that prison is uncomfortable. We are never who we are in real terms, we are a programmed organic being.

So being taken outside our 'comfort zone' our assumed brain washed conditioned programming we find it somewhat bizarre, unreal, surreal and some get so confused and end up mentally disturbed, suicidal and suicides.

I have experienced this many times with health issues, childhood stuff and the like.

I realise that an example I often use; watching TV I know I am the awareness, the witness to the programmes. Once I lose the awareness I get caught up in the programme. OK so I feel surreal is when the identification with the programme, the so called norm as regards the Pandemic, is my daily habits and routines and mind stuff and that is broken, the habitual 'norm' is but inculcated brain washed conditioned habits and becomes a landmark and beacon in the fog of everyday media, cultural, political living AND IT THE DEGREE OF ATTACHMENT, the body muscular cellular, synaptic pathways and all that stay as stains, etched in and deeply buried unconscious 'memory' remnants, the bits left in the frying pan that need scrubbing not by force or will, suppression or head in the sand and denial but by awareness and knowing this is not me, I am the witness then surreal and broken habits of the so called norm do not affect or effect one so drastically.

The proportion of remnants and leftovers, the haze and lessoning fog is proportional to the 'grip' and influence in order to be free of all 'not normal to the so called normal. It would seem awareness is the 'scrubber' and recognition of a 'norm' if that is possible.

SHACK

SHACK 1036 NO SEX?

 

The Trevor Project

I remember the feeling when I laid in the bed in High Wycombe Bucks and it was my parents bed and I was a very sick weaselly child and I had these surges of joy like I have in Meditation and sometimes spontaneously during my growing up years and now. 

I had a spontaneous large one just before my NDE in 1942 and remember the wall through the window to my left as I laid in that bed, the wall was of the Benyon's house next door. The wall went black and I travelled up the wall into the NDE experience.(explained elsewhere many times and the BBC video 'Visions Of Hope'). The feeling definitely stirred my genital areas and brought joy.

I realise now (7th June 2021) that joy can be humanely associated with sexual arousal but I see and feel it now in a different light.

I had a reservation and a somewhat still there is a remnant left over this morning of a shame in worshipping and loving with all my heart and devotion to a 'father God or mother God' and could not wrap my head around it so to speak, I felt it was incestuous or 'gay'(old term for homosexual) or filthy goings on or fancying your mother or family stuff, even paedophilic and another fear at that bedside waking up and hearing Doctors Young and Thompson discussing my health and what to do, also the aroma of some toy cars and my cousin Madeline and I bouncing on that bed and her wanting me to drop my pyjamas. These early impressions mean a lot somewhere, somehow and that dark feeling of mother pushing me into the canal and another person there and so on, me in the orchard at the top of the garden, the spider on my leg, Terry Braggs hitting me in the midriff with the rake, Henry holding me upside down, the bicycle, the gate I held closed, the garage, all gardening in hot summer and the damson tree, Miss Hathaway's school the hot poultice on the boil on the neck, Greenstreet School and the urinals and so on. All these fit in with the title somehow. Of course these are human flesh ego assumptions.

This morning as I said the Lord's prayer I realised I preferred to say as I have done for a long time; 'Our Father  Mother God who is in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name, thy Kingdom Come on Earth as it is in Heaven, please give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us, please lead us not into temptation and deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory for ever. Amen

Then I realised that The Almighty is not a physical Father Mother God, I course I knew this for a long time, but could not latch onto a non fleshly human type Guru, Angel Apparition or some sort of image, feeling associated with an image of a representation of God. I have this total adoration and love for God and yet not a way to worship Mother Father heavenly Eternal Cosmic Parent without some 'form' to get into my head,

Then it hit me deeply 'there is a story of Ramakrishna who worshipped the image of the Holy Mother and when he went to the dustbins to empty garbage he saw a naked man who was the guru Tota Puri, when he saw Ramakrishna, he picked up a piece of broken glass and pricked it into RK third eye in the forehead and RK cried in pain and TP said that pain is the sword that cuts the image so that you can experience God without form and it was then that RK could realise God without form'.

I have this admiration of the female form and feel it is a almost as I remember the feeling when I laid in the bed in High Wycombe Bucks and it was my parents bed and I was a very sick weaselly child and I had these surges of joy like I have in Meditation and sometimes spontaneously during my growing up years and now. 

This morning as I said the Lord's prayer I realised I preferred to say as I have done for a long time; 'Our Father  Mother God who is in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name, thy Kingdom Come on Earth as it is in Heaven, please give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us, please lead us not in temptation and deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory for ever. Amen

Then I realised that The Almighty is not a physical Father Mother God, I course I knew this for a long time, but could not latch onto a non fleshly human type Guru, Angel Apparition or some sort of image, feeling associated with an image of a representation of God. I have this total adoration and love for God and yet not a way to worship Mother Father heavenly Eternal Cosmic Parent without some 'form' to get into my head

Then it hit me deeply 'there is a story of Ramakrishna worshipped the image of the Holy Mother and when he went to the dustbins to empty garbage he saw a naked man who was the guru Tota Puri, when he saw Ramakrishna, he picked up a piece of broken glass and pricked it into RK third eye in the forehead and RK cried in pain and TP said that pain is the sword that cuts the image so that you can experience God without form and it was then that RK could realise God without form'.

I have this admiration for the female form, the grace, the subtle movements, the softness and could at one time be 'a slave and cross dress and be at the mercy of a soft mother beautiful female or a Amazonian dominatrix and also this feeling of desecration, nay a sacrilege to penetrate her with my violence and yet to softly feel her vagina embrace me and the beauty of the vagina as a rose, a flower as some photos portray and not the violent penetration in porn.

The I realised God has no form as I knew intellectually and logically and reinforced by my Koan, NDE and quantum stuff, plus the philosophy of the Buddha about impermanence and then realising that God was non dual and was an energy, an all pervading intelligence which is felt as joy, love, peace, tranquillity and also a great mind, a consciousness and that by creating by intent and imagination with a creative urge to produce a dual form and this dual form be it energetic and yet a subtle refined mind thought energy and the interplay became the sexual energy. The attraction to find the other half of the forms dual identity caused to have a many sorts of sexual play and intercourse and its orgasm whatever form it takes, it takes one out of the body into the energetic realms and one forgets oneself and in that brief interlude experiences the God like energy. 

Most humans see this 'going out oneself' as just a joyous sensation and get addicted to it, yet in a deeper meaning it can be the ego self is in someway recognising its frailty and impermanence and is seeking subconsciously God Almighty and it is always critical of itself and this orgasmic interlude one finds solace albeit briefly, that is why holding the orgasm in some Tantric Yoga forms can lead to this interlude experience however the addiction to the physical act to do it can become addictive.       

So this morning of the 7 / 06 / 21 I had a mild Tota Puri through realising that the 'feeling' of this love was God Like Consciousness and I love the love and it was a nonsexual image, in fact no image at all and that Father / Mother brought the idea or feeling of cancelling out the images (it is said that in Atlantean times, humans were sort of dual sexed, maphrodites) now this is this whole classification of sexuality. One can find definitions of sexuality online and there up to 79 definitions as such. I put out the idea and concept that this is the shift in consciousness and planetary global warming changes in the Solar System and Earth and is part and parcel of the Aquarian Ascension process described at length in many SHACKS and blogs.

I feel part of the worlds unrest with wars, eugenics, the new reset, technocracy, robotics, genetic manipulation with food and all things is the unrest that the human psyche is sensing at a deep level, it dissatisfied with life and senses a sell by date, things are stale and even going back to 'normal' after the lockdowns, masks vaccines and mad insane logic to not get 'infected' is part of this subterranean unconscious in the depths stirring of a new way not by politics, religion or philosophy but by natural evolution that is God's hand as it were reaching out and changing the cycles in evolution and a spin of wheel of fate and destiny.

The urgency and need to be defined as a sexual human form is now saying ' I am limited in my sexual expression, my human form needs another feeling a way of reaching my search for peace and love and it may not be a bodily expression'. This is what I feel, I feel when I feel this joy and peace in meditation and this grace during the working day or general day duties, it is enough, maybe because of my age, but I have felt this as a youngster and adult, I have been steered away from early indulgence with sex because of some restraint, I felt lack of confidence with girls yes, but there is more, I felt if I get addicted to this I would not reap the benefits of meditation and getting this joy and satisfaction as I felt as the baby in the bed as above. I found God in the NDE and was sent to Earth to go through the forms of fleshly experience and to come through all of them without fear and addiction. I realise in the NDE the being Joseph and I tussled I wanted the light and loved it and I reluctantly made a pre life agreement , a contract which I undertook and have suffered and enjoyed and never felt an Earthling and now realise that I am love without form, a consciousness and Intelligence without form and furthermore not having a human form or perhaps working towards formlessness is the Ascension process and this will continue until all attachment to that which has form will be severed.

The fascination with female genitalia is the wonder how the human body comes through this magnificent female form and that I came as a flesh human through the interaction of my parents and yet the seed was the outward manifestation of the intelligence and information of the coupling of egg and sperm and again becoming one in there endeavour to create a dual form in their unison. From the one become two and from their combining like the two ends of a seesaw and the middle fulcrum which is the sum of the two and yet neither.

SHACK