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There are these theories that if you have low confidence and esteem that one may have been abused mentally, physically or in some other way.
It could be there was absolutely no role model, not rejected and also weak parental guidance. A modicum of attention and love, a quiet boy not seeking attention and wondering why he was not noticed, some love given, a good home and comfortable surroundings but left to wander around with some boundaries.
The atmosphere was bland and the boy wondered what was wrong with him as there were no rebukes, no threats, smacking or ridicule, where was the guidance and impetus and the motivation?
So left to his own devices which he picked up from others and elsewhere and there was a sort of back handed acknowledgement and he lived in his own imagination.
Because he lacked childhood fantasies and not much in the way of toys and friends he became introverted and yet easily led by others who appealed to his self made as it were dreams and fantasies. He sensed he was unlike others and could not mix easily and when the opportunity presented itself to join or please he jumped and obeyed.
A strict authoritarian figure would provide guidelines with boarders and although sometimes distasteful, he would get his reward by obeying and being a good boy and pleasing his authority figures without question or sometimes causing conflict when he felt it was 'not something quite right' and even if they mocked or chastised him. He wished his parents and family were his guides and it was not left to him to be guided and 'parented' by some others or himself.
He became confused and had mixed messages and afraid of conflict and physical activity in sport and strength issues. He became a loaner and saute to please and so 'run with the hares and hunt with the hounds'. He had really no real alliances and reality consisted of a make shift, make do daily with opportunistic scavenging and be grateful to the day and bother about it tomorrow and was petrified of illness and disease because how do you please a disease and who is going to love and care for him as he was shy, deceitful in a way to mask his weaknesses and lying to get praise and attention and he did 'daring things' in his mind to compensate for his vulnerability.
How could he get out of this dilemma of this crazy make believe Walter Mitty existence, he already knew as he grew older from Buddhism and Quantum stuff that all the above was merely a psychological trap due to childhood experiences or should I say lack of childhood experiences and that he manufactured his childhood experiences, yet the one real memory was his NDE and out of body experience.
By the peeling away the layers he exposed the false identikits and the rules, religions, cultures, politics, spiritual and all else and found they all were from King, to Prime Minister, priest to Doctor, imbecile, drug addict, pop star, Buddhist Monk, Football Star, hugely wealthy Billionaires all of it was just as valid as his own and equally fake and false, he realised he and everyone lived a lie, they did not know it, humanity has conned itself into believing there is any reality at all.
So this left him naked, exposed and strangely free and a modicum of fearlessness. All of humanities wars, religions, cultures and rituals were worthless and full of crappy shit. Pillars of falsities made into assumed realities, structures and safety squashed and fucked by death and the tempting reward of heaven, a good reincarnation and a sort of warranty if you be a 'good boy and please God and the rules laid down by the various religions, cultures and laws by despots' as a ticket to a train going away from hell. He was afraid of breaking his own self made realities and the punishment for breaking them and although not real his mind had made him feel and think so.
He had no identity, he did not appear imbecilic or immoral he had little to say or offer after he shed the stifling, stultifying restricting hoaxes of identities that did not match anything at all and now just wandered around letting nature and life lead him to nowhere that is somewhere.
The above I have seen in world leaders, priests, dictators, Kings, Queens, all manner of sexual definitions, as to date seventy two, dictators, politicians, every culture, religion and science, everybody and thing as death and the five extinctions and the impending sixth with of cause death just wipes the plate and slate clean. In my psychotherapy clinical / healing / counselling days nearly all of the above were living in these false realities and my 'job' was to expose those in myself and them and hopefully lead them to explore the nature of reality beyond psychological, scientific, religious, human made morals, cultural and socialistic paradigms.
A strict authoritarian figure would provide guidelines with boarders and although sometimes distasteful, he would get his reward by obeying and being a good boy and pleasing his authority figures without question or sometimes causing conflict when he felt it was 'not something quite right' and even if they mocked or chastised him. He wished his parents and family were his guides and it was not left to him to be guided and 'parented' by some others or himself.
He became confused and had mixed messages and afraid of conflict and physical activity in sport and strength issues. He became a loaner and saute to please and so 'run with the hares and hunt with the hounds'. He had really no real alliances and reality consisted of a make shift, make do daily with opportunistic scavenging and be grateful to the day and bother about it tomorrow and was petrified of illness and disease because how do you please a disease and who is going to love and care for him as he was shy, deceitful in a way to mask his weaknesses and lying to get praise and attention and he did 'daring things' in his mind to compensate for his vulnerability.
How could he get out of this dilemma of this crazy make believe Walter Mitty existence, he already knew as he grew older from Buddhism and Quantum stuff that all the above was merely a psychological trap due to childhood experiences or should I say lack of childhood experiences and that he manufactured his childhood experiences, yet the one real memory was his NDE and out of body experience.
By the peeling away the layers he exposed the false identikits and the rules, religions, cultures, politics, spiritual and all else and found they all were from King, to Prime Minister, priest to Doctor, imbecile, drug addict, pop star, Buddhist Monk, Football Star, hugely wealthy Billionaires all of it was just as valid as his own and equally fake and false, he realised he and everyone lived a lie, they did not know it, humanity has conned itself into believing there is any reality at all.
So this left him naked, exposed and strangely free and a modicum of fearlessness. All of humanities wars, religions, cultures and rituals were worthless and full of crappy shit. Pillars of falsities made into assumed realities, structures and safety squashed and fucked by death and the tempting reward of heaven, a good reincarnation and a sort of warranty if you be a 'good boy and please God and the rules laid down by the various religions, cultures and laws by despots' as a ticket to a train going away from hell. He was afraid of breaking his own self made realities and the punishment for breaking them and although not real his mind had made him feel and think so.
He had no identity, he did not appear imbecilic or immoral he had little to say or offer after he shed the stifling, stultifying restricting hoaxes of identities that did not match anything at all and now just wandered around letting nature and life lead him to nowhere that is somewhere.
The above I have seen in world leaders, priests, dictators, Kings, Queens, all manner of sexual definitions, as to date seventy two, dictators, politicians, every culture, religion and science, everybody and thing as death and the five extinctions and the impending sixth with of cause death just wipes the plate and slate clean. In my psychotherapy clinical / healing / counselling days nearly all of the above were living in these false realities and my 'job' was to expose those in myself and them and hopefully lead them to explore the nature of reality beyond psychological, scientific, religious, human made morals, cultural and socialistic paradigms.
SHACK
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| Memedroid |
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