POST 492 RELIEF

Clip Ground

Relief came about when I realised I was not to blame  for what I currently was and that I did not deserve to be punished and had bad luck, be a waste of space or any other derogatory remark I felt and thought about myself.

The realisation dawned on me that I had been brainwashed by my life experiences as mentioned many times before and known and realised on the intellectual or surface mundane level of understanding, however the main phrase that leapt out was ‘I DIDN’T DESERVE’, the deeper recognition rather than understanding was I was not to blame for my attitudes and beliefs, this was not me and these were habits, like an athlete or learning a skill, by repetition they become a reflex, an addiction, a neuronal set of interrelated responses and reflexes which then become a belief, these beliefs then are compounded and ingrained, compacted crushed and crunched into a ‘hard ball’ and become a belief, a post, a pillar and then become a reality.

So my bad luck, ill health, lack of money, a failure, inability to form lasting relationships and so on are and were taught, repetitive experiences through religion, culture and so on, but are a conditioned, brain washed reactive reflex and then becomes my world and reality.  This I knew beforehand yet this time I did not feel I deserved it and was being punished by God, society, my family and friends or by my own critique of myself by myself.

This removed punishment, blame and self loathing from me, the film, the block was I hadn't removed the film, the haze, the black ominous doom, ‘time is short’, a fathomless omnipresent fear, a gnawing gut wrench, a deep depressive shut-down, physical weakness and nothing to live for. 

It was only the programme, the conditioned reflexes, the ingrained beliefs that were not seen in clarity to the conscious mind, but came by stealth as a deep feeling in my depths, my guts, that all was doom and gloom, helpless and a victim to these currents of dark energy generated by the stealthy monsters that lurked in the murky waters of my unconscious sea of primal beliefs inculcated by years of repetitive actions and thoughts so that I believed this was me and my unshakeable reality. It was concrete, set in stone, this is who I was and am and so I deserved what these beliefs dished out.

The disquiet beckoned and began to ‘rock the boat’ erode the foundations brought about by meditation and an awakening to the fact ‘who are these identities’ I seek that are not satisfying, escaping into fantasies, mind movies, because the pillars of my belief system did not satisfy me.  So I sought fresh identities in my mind and the ‘outside’ world and they were just as unsatisfactory, the fantasies and the PH.D, the soccer dream that did not mature outside or inside, so dissatisfaction reigned.  Nothing seemed to satisfy me, all the minor ‘buzzes’ I got brought temporary emotional high and a endorphins and adrenaline temporary relief as orgasms did, however these were a reward for the ego or the transparent belief systems which have their foundations built and anchored on shifting sands are not cemented into any permanent reality in fact there is no such thing as a permanent reality.

What was beginning to emerge was that reality in a sense did not exist and in a way reality, identity and addiction have similar complimentary emotions and energies.  It seems the nearest ‘reality’ is a moving awareness as in a travellater or escalator, it is a stream, a river of Life and experiences and that boulders and huge stones were beliefs and in proportion to the mass accumulated. So reality is rafting or kayaking the river and negotiating with awareness and not a hard and fast rule and dogma.

Some ‘fixed’ guiding principles were needed to live and Earthly Fleshly Life and these were adaptable to certain circumstances.

So my beliefs dictated my rewards and punishments which meant that deserve is the outcome for obeying or disobeying my ego core beliefs. The shift has been subtle in the way I perceive ‘deserve’. I may still believe and have some substructure, some sort of substrate, yet they are flexible and not bases on reward and chastisement, they free up the dogma of guilt, remorse and self admonishment and leave one in a space of free living and not the claustrophobic atmosphere of being encased in a straight jacket and bound forever in that doom or gloom.  The impending doom or gloom is the sentinel, the early warning system the ego senses (for it is a being, an entity, albeit self created) that the beliefs and guidelines are going to be breached and security threatened and an attack and wipe out imminent. All defences up, shields up, on guard, and be alert to all possibilities of a breach.

I feel that the harbinger of doom, the dark cloud is the sentinel, the security guard, the guard dog patrolling the perimeter of my mind encased beliefs and straying outside the designated lines of safety enforced by the ring fence of the belief systems embedded in a hardrive of the ego means a punishment and ‘The Lord God Ego sayeth that if thou strayest too far from my Laws and tenets, then thou will be undeserving and the wrath of the Lord shall encompass thee’.  This feels like I am not worthy, loss of confidence and self esteem, a failure and seemingly inferior to others who I put on a pedestal and wish I had their identity and envious of their achievements and beg and seek their approval, yet at the same time criticizing and denouncing them as the result of my envy and lack of confidence and frailty.

So what now?  I have no idea.

SHACK

POST 491 IS THERE

Flikr

Is there such a label or a real lasting thing as an identity?  A doctor, a dustman, a bus driver, a king or any other denomination or nomenclature?

These descriptions define the status of the person or thing one is describing, however if it were a baby without a defining description one might say a boy, girl, boy fat thin and so on. With those above it describes what they do and their work and place in society.  A pensioner, a retired person, a senior citizen, a tramp, a drug addict and so on all descriptions of their status in society BUT not their essence, it is a worldly identity, a brief sojourn in a human flesh body which will die and be no more (OK if one wants to be pedantic one could preserve the body, freeze it and yet the animating, motivating life force is absent).

It then could be assumed that many want permanence immortal life in this flesh embodiment, this fragile cocoon and so must preserve the identity which is encapsulated in the name and label, even one who is senile has this wish to live on somewhere within the psyche, and many who wish to die cannot by law and so commit suicide or if their wish is fulfilled by law euthanasia.

In some philosophies it is taken that life is transient and impermanent, and that the label defining them is merely a concept for work and political ideology, ethos and to keep one under surveillance and in obedience. 

Then some may feel fearful of losing this temporary passport to this fleshly life and have so become identified with the transient shadow of their label which they take as the ultimate reality until something happens to shake this belief such as retirement, loss of job, life threatening situations or disease and maybe through ruminating and contemplating life and its uncertainty and sometimes seeming madness of war, poverty, austerity and cruel behaviour that the world of the known the label, the tag, the insurance policy of protection that the name, label, the badge, the uniform, religion, way of life, loss of loved ones, home demolished by war, floods, mortgage and so on this can suddenly produces a challenge.  Where is certainty, immortality, safety for ever, who am I, why am I here, why was I born only to suffer or if fortunate an easy ride only to have all this taken away in death and furthermore a painful suffering death or a pleasant passing?

These crises may never confront one and one can glide merrily along and life is a roller coaster.  For those who face these seeming dilemmas it can cause great stress and consternation. Some do the Ostrich thing and hide away in a corner of life, some take to distractions which can be addictive and some see this as a challenge to search and go on a quest.

The shock may come to some that their there is no permanent identity and they may seek to define one of their own and say my identity is the identity of no identity however it is an identity in their minds and is still ‘a place, an area, an imagined or created by the imagination and felt and stored and that one thinks it is immortal and free of identity’ it is a very subtle ego strategy that imitates and in a away mocks the truth of what is to be without identity.

The mind is tricky, real mind is not.  Real mind is awareness without content, a mind with beliefs no matter how empty it feels and beguiling the ego graphics and slide show appears is still in the realm of the subtle and shadow mind identity.

This is the most crucial stage in one’s search and quest and it is often maddening and one can literally become so stressed and obsessed that mental illness can ensue. This is when the mind has detected all of the computations and desperations, reconfigurations, interrelationships, juxtaposed, conjugated and shuffled the pack and no lasting solution is found or satisfaction in this mayhem of trying to establish an identity, I know who I am and will last forever, only to be assailed by a nagging doubt of ‘oh really’.  So the dog chases its tail and when it rests and gives up there is a temporary cessation which it takes for peace until the itch of uncertainty starts the chase again.

So madness, anger, frustration and a huge ‘head pressure’ ensues and one maybe fortunate to ‘explode’ have a Cosmic Orgasm or get lost in endless mind stuff as madness and craziness, a mind alcoholic addicted to the thrill of the quest and then just giving up exhausted, stressed out, lifeless and beaten.

Endless Guru’s, internet claims of inner peace, workshops, mantras, yantras, visualisations, books, videos, retreats, yes they can all help in the quest, many claiming the Amazon Shamans can do it, Indian Ashrams with a Guru can do it, Zen Masters, retreats and off grid stuff, many have done the trip, got the T shirt, got the autograph, seen the video, done the webinar and all the time looking for an identity which does not exist and give one security.  

Watch the mind always wanting to know the answer to be sure, find the cure, find refuge and when one retires from life work and hands in the uniform, the badge and no longer can have that assurity of that former identity there is a sense of loss.  Examine that loss, dive into the hole vacated by the former identity you. Can one live without it? That does no longer have to be identified by anything. Then society feels uncomfortable, you cannot be defined, it rocks the stability of the known, the law cannot put one into a box, one becomes a wild card, not able to be understood, a non conformist, although not violent or a rebel, one becomes unpredictable, can it be trusted.

On death if one is conscious of it the passing is easy, there is no identity to cling too or give up, one has a mind that is free and if found before death the free mind it just an awareness without attachment a witness that does not cling to the experiences of life in a flesh body and in a way is already dead.  This death is the non attachment to identities with form such as money, label, and position in society and actually enjoys the moments as interludes until this life ends.

SHACK

      

SHACK 490 MYSELF?

Wild Fire Radio

I FORGIVE MYSELF 

OF MY PERCEPTION

OF MYSELF

IS THERE SUCH A SELF

SHACK

POST 489 KICK BACK

AMALLIA ANGELLINI  BOOKWRITER WORDPRESS.COM

Life in a way is an addiction and breaking the addiction is a paramount strategy, the point is what is meant that life is an addiction?  I know that life in a flesh human body is transient and transitory and limited, mortal and finite, yet why do I cling to it so steadfastly and feel I am infinite this body will never die?

It probably is because we have been brain washed and told this is the only life, there is no tangible proof of an after or before life.  Science says so, so it must be right, religion disagrees and yet one may ask if there is a God how is it he / she allows such horrors as we witness in 2018 and before hand?  We have been given free will says religion, God does not impose his / her will on us, so why do we die and have natural laws and so on, the discussions are endless, each batting for their quarter, team and ism.

When working in hospices and seeing in therapy clinics many who want to die and cannot and plead for euthanasia, some countries allow it others do not, then there are abortions some countries allow it others do not.  Yet many Western Countries sell weapons of massive impact power to other countries and are complicit in murder while upholding their chaste moral compasses and mercy and most hypocritical, I find this in myself very often, I justify my moral high ground and my negative and sometimes vile thoughts are complicit as well and add to the collective unconscious mix.

I know that in me there is a stranger that lurks, this stranger was a way of life I lived out unconsciously and followed it with due reverence and loyalty, following an automatic pilot that was programmed by a culture, religion, spiritual practice and life experiences, I followed blindly as a willing sheep, I was and still am to a certain extent a sheeple (a human robotic sheep) occasionally I would question my reality or way of life, it wasn't pleasant and with consistent meditation which allowed a space, a witness an awareness to arrive and present itself, this produced a questioning, who is this stranger in my head and who then am I? Am I mentally ill, am I schizophrenic, have I got multi personality disorder, am I a telepathic or empathic that is picking up the collective unconscious and others that I am in contact with, or from the internet and TV?

Then I get glimpses that my automatic pilot and predestined path that is determined by conditioning, brain washing and programming is just that; a brainwashed individual who shares this brain washed identity with others who wear the same uniform and have the same culture, religion or not, the same politics, the same waking up with cynicism.

Then there become doubts; who shall I be, the programmes; after all I followed them all my life, they are easier than breaking the mould, yet the more the programmes reveal themselves as a collective which some name ego which seems a self perpetuating being with a self perpetuating hierarchy and seems to draw energy as a separate entity from the me that is beginning to recognise its frailty and will die with the flesh.

The growing awareness begins to search out the mortal frailty and so disturb the ego and remind it of its mortality and the ego cannot bear the thought of it being mortal and subject to fear, suffering and death, it cannot tolerate being insignificant and non recognisable and not getting its love and applause for with either being dominant or subdued.

So the ego fights it kicks back and in some cases will like the scorpion surrounded by fire kill itself rather than change, if I can’t be it no one else will be it. Many world leaders are like this. The ego can and will be in many cases a kamikaze.  I find when I get too close to the ego central command, it sends huge fantasies, threats, fears of illness and sometimes earthly rewards.

In my case I have found the ego torments, bombards and is relentless pursuing its dominance and one of the most efficacious ways is to endeavour to persuade me the path of emptiness, no mind, meditation, rubbish about the quantum field the 99.99% of atoms being empty, the few glimpses of nirvana I have experienced are but ego letting me rest from its searing brain fire that has the effect of a blank nothing as an escape and feeling trapped and nowhere to turn or go, I cannot even meditate, the other alternative is a distraction and they are now falling away as they like the drug addict, alcoholic and thrill seekers are running out of options and new highs, the ego is losing its own grip and as inventive, spontaneous as it appears it cannot entertain itself and is losing it allure and seduction.

So madness can ensue, the ego drives itself into a frenzy like sharks at the smell of blood, it is trapped, and I am beginning to see the ruse and am not the one feeling mad or trapped. So the ego threatens suicide, depression, cancer and all other diseases but will it subside, yes it will for a while, while it gives itself breathing time, recovery time, assessing new strategies, if only I could kill that frigging awareness.

Yet paradoxically it is the energy and light of the awareness that the ego obtains its power through, the ego feeds off of the awareness, the awareness is life, it is the life energy for awareness which is consciousness, which is being alive, in fact the energy of the Universe, the alive conscious all experiencing Cosmic Being the ego would not have life and indeed be recognised. In fact the ego is jealous of the all being awareness and wants supremacy that it feels the Universal ego has. The ego is a perverted image of the Universal ego.

I have met many famous writers, psychologists, psychiatrists, quantum physicists, and philosophers, meditater's' so called masters who reached the edge of their minds, which is the edge of the thought processes, the programmes, edicts and then the mind baulks, no matter how many combinations, configurations, juxtaposing, manipulating, conjugating, mixing and matching say; I cannot get out of the prison, out of the box, the ring fence of my computations and rearrangements in my brain, I cannot jump off of the edge of my mind, so I must either keep distracting, going around the library and hard drive of my mind brain computer and then face a bleak nowhere to go or be or just go senile, crackers, insane and live in a fantasy world and you see that is no answer because the whole Universe is transient, not real only an appearance of reality and so what is real, is there any reality, how do I know that awareness is not another trick of illusion?

I cannot even remotely answer this or anything else but to keep marching on through brick walls, madness, seeming reality after seeming reality and say like many yogis say ‘not that not that’.  

SHACK

POST 488 RUNNING AWAY

Becomenormal
What is normal?  No matter where you run and how fast you can never get away from yourself. SHACK

Realising the only threat to me was my own negative beliefs which produce disturbing thoughts some of which were not always recognisable but were like shadows, nuances like an automated process. These processes are like when one rearranges the furniture in a room and one tends to go automatically to the previous placement.

So really the so called ‘outside world’ does not exist in a way, it is merely the overlay, the cosmetic makeover, the make up, the mask and the paint job the redecorating that my experiences turned into beliefs, codes of conduct, cultural expectations and then the shock to realise that my familiar world is but a brain washed, in a way a con job.

Then this realisation when it is fully recognised and goes deep into the unconscious vault where it started from and then surfaces to the bright light of recognition which is nothing out there is real in real terms, it is an agreed fabrication in order to keep sanity and the status qua.  Then I feel to go to the outside world and run away from this glaring reality and seek solace in some distraction such as a fantasy, a TV programme anything to relieve the burden, there is nowhere to go and it is to me to deal with the illusions of non-reality. There is nothing among the Planets, The Stars, The Worlds of Imagination and spiritual dogma, hedonistic riches, having high status in society or being an off grid loner, a monk, a homeless wandering hobo tramp. Madness can creep in here, where do I turn?

No one can help me, do I need counselling, psychiatric help, should I be locked up, depression and suicidal thoughts can assail me, yet I know that this is a compromise and escape from what really is.

I am trapped by my own mind, no one is to blame, the outside mania is all as above, people trapped in a brain washed false reality, so ingrained that it appears real until one pierces the net, the veil of illusion, the matrix of deception which many authorities know exist and are trapped in as well, however they use this deception to rule and dominate others.

I run away from society the boring TV, the endless huge money in sport, the lies and deception of politics, the revenge of wrathful Gods in religion all claiming the only true religion and the confidence of the LORD.

So I seek the silence and go to the only place of safety and peace that which resides when I break through the fogs, mists and obstacles of the tangled forest of my mind, bumping blindly into some avenue or haven in the fantasies and imageries of the deluded mind. I get awoken with a jolt when I am in some vagaries of delusion and coming out of the hangover of a deception and a mere wisp of a pleasure only to realise this is a mere glimpse of unreality and leaves a bitter taste in the mouth and wishing so dearly for a lasting pleasure that cannot be found in form or flesh.  

Here I stop all phone calls, rush to the silence in meditation to sort all this out only to realise I am not running from the nasty world out there and why don’t they wake up and blame the horror of the world wars, politics, fanatical religious wars, I am indeed running away from my thoughts and conclusions about them and me, I am at war with myself just as much as countries are, the political shenanigans, the intrigues and so on, the jealousy of the celebrities and billionaires that I feel have got it all, and yet this is another ruse, If only I had wealth I could get out of this, yet I know wherever I went what ever distraction I got into there would be that nagging doubt, I will die to all of this, this is not really me and who I am and I would be sad in the midst of riches just as I would be in poverty and I am in neither.

Trapped and imprisoned by a relentless world of human made misery not only punishing all of nature and human kind but the Universe and Its beauty, so I live with my realisation there is no escape, the silence is the silencing of my own distracting thoughts and I shift the blame onto the world as it is and those polices that humans make to rule it. 

There is no turning back, up, forward, downward inwards or outwards.  So I can go out into the world or retreat to be a hermit either way it is a ‘way’ and merely a coping mechanism.  So running from me or staying with me is not the solution, the solution is there is no solution, when the mind suddenly and finally reaches this, an awakening which can be and is extremely uncomfortable as the old Zen saying has it ‘ sitting on top of a hundred foot pole’ the tip of which is uncomfortable and one puts one’s hands into the buttocks to stop the pole digging in, the pole being the height and accumulation of the ego, which I am running away from, and then DO I jump and let go or slide down a bit for a more comfortable position and delay the process, and reminding myself death is not a solution, for it remains unfinished business and the Universe does not leave anything over it merely recycles, oh boy! reincarnation and the same old, same old, no way.  

So where does that leave me now, absolutely nowhere and perhaps that’s where I need to be. Then again how can I be in nowhere if it isn't a place at all?

SHACK

POST 487 MYSTERY OF SPACE

EVERYTHING AND ALL CONTENT IS IN SPACE

AND YET SPACE ITSELF HAS NO CONTENT

CONTENT IS VISIBLE

SPACE IS INVISIBLE

CONTENT COMES FROM SPACE 

AND YET SPACE HAS NO CONTENT 

TO PRODUCE CONTENT

BEFORE THE UNIVERSE WHICH IS FULL OF CONTENT

CAME INTO BEING 

IT CAME TO FILL ENDLESS SPACE

OR DID IT?

SHACK

POST 486 TIMELESS SPACE

TO LIVE THROUGH CONTENT

WHICH COMES AND GOES

IS TO LIVE WITH CONSTANT CHANGE

YES IT HAS ITS MERITS

THE SPACES BETWEEN THE CONTENTS IS TIME

CONTENTS ARE PERISHABLE AND TRANSIENT

AND MORTAL AND UNDER THE INFLUENCE

OF DECAY AND DEATH

SPACE IS SPACE AND IS ETERNAL 

AND IS CONSTANT AND YET EVER MOVING 

IN ITS OWN WAY

WHAT IS IT THAT, THAT HAS NO

MOVEMENT AND YET IS EVER ON THE MOVE

SHACK 

SHACK 485 MIND YOU

Pinterest 

( Do you want to go back? SHACK)

 A MIND THAT HAS REALISED IT'S A MIND

AND NOT THE CONTENTS OF THE MIND

CAN GO NO FURTHER THAN TO 

BE JUST MIND WITHOUT CONTENT

WHAT THEN IS A MIND WITHOUT 

CONTENT

SHACK

POST 484 THRESHING

Book Drum

Everything is in a state of vibration and frequencies caused by the varying rate of vibration.  Take iron filings on a tin plate and apply vibration and they form patterns and with the increase in vibrations, sound and percussion the patterns change.  This is best seen in videos on cymatics such as;

https://youtu.be/Q3oItpVa9fs.

It has long been my belief that the vibratory rate in the Universe increases with the era of evolution and so alters the frequencies and wave patterns which I feel have codes and these codes awaken new symbols to advance the structures and life standards. You can see more of this details in www.geofffreed.com in which I lay out over the years the science behind it, this site is the philosophy and consciousness thereof.

Akin to this is the threshing floor separating the wheat from the chaff.  I feel the sound and upbeat frequencies are reconfiguring the outmoded slower vibratory patterns of wavelengths which served their purpose and now like the chaff need to be expunged and cast aside and recycled in someway.

Emotionally these patterns stir up and push like a cleansing and detox and so deep buried emotions, long forgotten hidden away traumas are surfacing for cleansing, like a high pressure hosepipe pushing out the crud at the sides and bottom of the container. The debris often has to be visited several times as the ingrained material is well and truly in- grimed and sealed fast.

The processes involved can be food by vegetable and spice detox, sound binaural waves to stimulate the brain and rearrange conditioned neural pathways, deep meditation, and certain energy exercises like special kinds of Yoga Asanas, Taichi and Qi Gong forms with some specialised and supervised kundulini and breath work.  There are numerous other ways to raise the vibrations which usually raise heat and unblock the nadis and meridians.

At certain times in Earth’s history peak cycles meet and they cause a big push to clear the pathways to raise the consciousness and life forms to the new endeavours of nature and refine the forms therein.

There is a natural resistance to change for many of the forms because they are familiar with the old and feel safe at least ‘the devil you know’ and many have established power bases here and feel dominant and in charge. So confrontations arise and like a dam bursting at the seems will hold on to the very last minute.  The resistance can be felt in many ways such as anger, fierce stubbornness, blame, war, illness, rashes, stiff joints, indigestion and extreme denial and so on.

The build up in the dams causes in the body knots of painful veins, muscles, ligaments and joints and emotionally depression, anxiety, psychosis, paranoia, dementia and much more. Rage and murder can run  wild in some as the blocked energy needs an outlet. Some forms of bodywork like massage, manipulation, acupuncture and channelling energy through dance, movement and drama can also be useful.

Who or what is raising the vibrations and orchestrating the up tempo is for the reader to decide, for me it is consciousness, the mind and will of the Cosmos which is linked to the Cause and Source of Life. It is time that everything moves on and refreshes itself.

The old pieces of chaff merely have a dwindling life and merely fall beside the wayside gradually finding the momentum of their own lives coming to a standstill and death without renewal.

SHACK

SHACK 483 SATISFACTION

AZ Qotes

There is a growing kind of dissatisfaction, not a fed up, peed off thing, just a mild discontent in nearly every aspect in my life and it is down to the whittling and chipping away at the false beliefs and programmes that are automatically running my life and the fact I am becoming aware of the most subtle layers.  These habitual programmes seem to self select themselves and rob me of the alive robust alert awareness of its full functionality and therefore and thereby conscious choice, a shutter and a blind temporarily shut out the light of consciousness and I run on ‘battery reserve back up’ the not me dynamo and not the Cosmic one.

The old programmes seem to have a life of their own as if I share my life with a programme box set which are and were indoctrinated into me and formed the not me. This brain washed set of conditioning political, cultural and religious (which includes the religion of scepticism, atheism and the like) are at odds now with the awakening consciousness of Cosmic awareness and natures programmes which are inherited as a Universal Cosmic way of life, fed by the energy and downloads supplied by the Creative Intelligence of the Source of Life.

Therefore the changes bring in dissatisfaction with food, thoughts, exercises, health issues and materialism. I have to feel the right foods, exercises, meditations, sleep and every aspect of my life. What used to nourish me in every way is now sour, has no meaning and seems materialistic vain and not supportive. Basically it is not so much the food, goods, clothes, thoughts and all else are not attractive and play a part in my life, it is if they have just molecules, atoms and particles coalesced and bundled into forms which are not meaningful, they are toys that fascinate and lure, seduce and distract one from the real purpose and meaning to life and merely put off the fact that glares in the bright light of reality and highlights the flesh and bone and concrete plastic world of glamour which is temporary, expedient and transitory and these materialistic goods fade with fascination and boredom which sets in and new toys and thrills are sought so coveting materialism clutter and rape of the Earth’s precious gifts.

So now I seek more simplicity, quiet and peace preparing for the great shift into a new consciousness which is not actually new but an uncovering of the clutter, the lifting of the shutter and blind to reveal what is already there and always has been and will be.

Yet there is this pull to go back to the known although it brings a weariness and boredom and yet a reluctance to let it completely go as the fear engendered by a self built habit entity which seems to be real and substantial is shouting ‘no I am the real you, you are being deceived’ yet who is this entity named the ego talking too’?     

The ego is talking to the awareness and it realises that the awareness can dispel the clouds that cover the light of Life of consciousness and halt the runaway locomotive of habitual robot programmed brainwashed behaviour based on deep impacted and ingrained, rusted and locked in beliefs which seem to be life guidance but are indeed false programmes.  They have served a purpose and now are indeed redundant, out worn, not fit for purpose and do not serve Life as it now moves on.

So for the time being with a fast moving world which is discontent and is itself endeavouring to throw off its discontent and searching for new ways of living and finding peace and the elite power and war mongers feeling they are banging their heads and desperately going round in circles holding onto to their outworn stuff which makes them ill and just is a merry go round, trying to make new policies and resolutions and they know deep down they only are making superficial cosmetic makeovers and when these fail they punish threaten and cause poverty, austerity and punitive measures, they like myself have this urge to break free and seek the peace that passes all understanding and they maybe then fall back as I do to the known although boring, not life enhancing or nourishing, not the nourishment of food, lots of cash, fine clothes and material assets but the sap of Life which is inside the flesh bone material body like that of the tree and plant is a silent invisible energy a Life Force felt as peace, compassion and happiness.

Until this process a work in progress is inculcated and imbibed in me the tussle goes on and the searching for inner and outer nourishment which is commensurate and concomitant to the ever changing scenario and cameo of my life changes is sufficient unto the day I must bear a certain amount of ‘healthy discontent’ because without that the search has no fuel to further its quest.

SHACK

POST 482 RELATIONS

1320frequenyshift.com

I don’t know what it is only when I hear the words ‘from the stars’ or about space and stars, the Milky Way, Constellations, Galaxies, UFO / ET I get a special feeling which is difficult to express or put in words.

It feels like a longing as if I feel a deep connection, a soul link not with a planet or a race of beings from elsewhere, neither with angels or some deceased relative or long departed someone from another time, its sort of deeper and more profound than that.

I feel as I were born from among the stars from that which birthed the Universe and all that fills it. It is not only my birthright and heritage it is for all and sundry.

It feels when a heavenly body is born from the emptiness of space and in space and the Cosmic dust is compacted, the waves gathered and the form is brought forth, a great burst of light, not as the Earth perceives light which is refracted photons  in our atmospherefrom the Sun our Star, not the light the human eye records as the opposite of dark, it is the light of consciousness, the light of awareness, it is the Light of Life.

This light is so intense and terrifying it has to be transformed down to acceptable levels that the form can live by and with.  Even the light of the blazing Sun is dull compared to the Light that spawned the Universe and its Creation from a simple amoeba to a blazing gigantic massive Star all are diminished in its presence and contained in it.

So I feel the magnificence of the Cosmic Presence that is in-filled in this form which is my flesh and bone body. That ‘bit’ in me recognises and feels this  is my creator, this is the gift of Life which has been gifted to this form and that Light in me is the why that I was built in the image of the Great Light and we like our Space Relatives in the UFO and carry ET have a kindred ‘great spirit or light’ which some of them feel and live by far more so than some of us Earth bound beings who may have agendas and cloud the light from shinning forth.

Many an Earth form is interested in their true roots not from a long past reincarnation but from the Stars and beyond or deeper or behind the Stars to the Space of the invisible Light of Space which is the birth pool of all that is, was and will be.

That is real family, the family of ONE like the still ocean and when the creation commences the waves arise and the form of the ocean is the waves.  When I look at the Stars and the vastness of the Milky Way and all I feel the connection to my real birth not from a particular section of the Galaxy but indeed the Galaxy is symbolic of the beauty and vast creativity of that which brought it forth.

So all form is reminder of our origin, for our origin is inextricably bound with the Universe and cannot be parted nor cut off. Only the separated human agenda and messing with natural origins can seem like separation but is mere a misconception and like clouds overlaying the Sun.

As long as there is Space there is Light and the open heart and mind allow that light of the origin of ourselves and each unit to shine forth and we feel it and know it and so ET / UFO and the planets, stars and heavenly Host remain for ever more in cycles of birth and death which are complementary opposites and Life has no opposites and so be it.  All form is born and dies but creation does not.

All the above does in no way express what I really feel for who can adequately describe the Creation and Creator?

SHACK

POST 481 JUNK

WHY DO WE KEEP STUFF IN THE ATTIC

WHY DO WE CLING TO CLUTTER

BECAUSE IT REMINDS US OF THE PAST

PLEASANT AND UNPLEASANT

ITS STILL SAFE TO THE MIND

ITS SYMBOLIC OF THE MINDS ROADMAP

I KNOW THE LANDMARKS OF MY MIND

I TAKE THE MIND AS MYSELF

THE MINDS OK 

ITS THE CONTENT 

THATS QUESTIONABLE

SHACK

POST 480 WHAT !!!

spoon-tomago.com

IS THERE ANYTHING THAT IS FOREVER

GO AHEAD AND PROVE IT?

THE ONLY WAY YOU MAY BE ABLE TO PROVE IT

IS YOU TO BE FOREVER

AND CAN YOU PROVE THAT?

MAYBE WE WILL ALWAYS ASK THIS

AND THIS COULD BE FOREVER

SHACK

POST 479 NOT NOW NOT EVER

ebay.ie

STOP THE SEARCH 

THEN YOU HAVE FOUND IT

WHAT IS THIS IT

IF YOU KNOW AND ARE SATISFIED

FIND OUT WHAT SATISFIED YOU

 FOR IF YOU ARE SATISFIED

FIND OUT THIS YOU THAT IS SATISFIED

SHACK

POST 478 BORN AGAIN AND AGAIN

Hammerofsilver

I am aware of myself being aware, I am conscious of myself being conscious, how strange to be aware of awareness and not being able to define or grasp this strange aliveness.  So what must I conclude? I am forced to go no further I cannot say how I became alive, perhaps physically by conception, yet I feel no matter how irrational and illogical or unscientific or logical that I am the aware aliveness, that which is conscious of itself was conscious aware and alive before being encapsulated in a cocoon of bone and flesh.

This aliveness does not seem to name or categorise the forms it perceives but merely notes them with wonder, it does not possess anything and realises that its origin is beyond form and wonders mysteriously, magically and in awe of this so called solid existence.

The forms may wish to label and define themselves in order in their effort to understand the nature of themselves and how they were created and by what or whom.

This awareness seems all pervasive and without limits and the forms that arise within in it, like  a screen and things appear from all directions for the awareness to view then in unlimited space named the Universe and this space provides the backdrop to the moving forms that move and have their beingness within and on in this space.  Actually it is as if this space not only spawned the form from within itself but was the very nature of the substance of the forms and a sort of coagulation and strange kind of wrap around, birth from within itself, yes, solidified in a way space. Like water frozen to ice and vice versa.

So this space awareness is invisible to its forms of which appear solid and yet known to be composed of tiny bits named atoms, particles and given these names in an effort to give meaning to their existence, yet being empty as space itself and space forming these forms to try to solve the mystery of its own nature which being space, having no tangible form to define itself to itself has to remain an awareness aware of its awareness and forced to surrender to the mystery of its creation if there ever was one and marvel how and why, where and when all this came about and the myriad of countless forms which come out of itself and by what means it does this.

The more this awareness which it calls itself as Life endeavours to find the answer to itself and how the creation forms and then disappears the more complex and frustrating it becomes and because of its curiosity of itself seems desperate and hungry to find and seek the answer and stop the agony of this relentless pursuit.

So I the awareness can only say at this point I AM, and that the definition, the very substance of this I AM is not tangible, only the forms that issue forth from the I AM, the Space the womb, the matrix of forms is tangible. Something indeed seems to come from nothing and that something slides back and dissolves back to the nothing that made it something.

So it is indeed the I AM WHAT I AM and will always be what I AM, my AM-NESS is a stand alone quality and because it is incomprehensible to the forms it spews forth it creates a mystery for the forms which is why they were created and since the I AM cannot comprehend its own nature both are partners in the wonders of creation and the invisible non tangible space in which all is manifested.

Each is a mystery to itself and themselves collectively. Indeed those who name themselves scientists are aware of the nature of form, so called material substance as being fundamentally empty at least 99.99% and the rest they give various names, dark matter, the big bang, Higgs Bosun particle as they build bigger and bigger collider’s to find smaller and smaller particles going deeper into space until they will find themselves looking at pure space with nothing in it and they will realise this is their consciousness, one can go no further than realising oneself as oneself without form and seeming without rhyme or reason and the mystery is no more or less I AM AN ALIVE AWARENESS without definition or labels, I exist eternally and as such am unlimited such is the nature of space in order to form an ocean of which issues forth waves which are seemingly solid but on close inspection are merely waves, vibrations, frequencies which appear solid and forms but are merely space’s ways of creating forms, these forms collapse when the waves subside. The burning question for the forms and creator of forms is how did 'I AM' creating forms and all there is, was and will be if it is space and eternal which is another name for space which has no beginning or end----well it maybe it is a consciousness, a mind, space is a mind an awareness, it is what is called life and the problem with that is, it just another explanation.

SHACK

Shutterstock

The Möbius strip or Möbius band is a surface with only one side and only one edge. It can be made using a strip of paper by gluing the two ends together with a half-twist. The twisting is possible in two directions; so there are two different (mirror-image) Möbius strips.

The Mobius strip is known for its unusual properties. A bug crawling along the center line of the loop would go around twice before coming back to its starting point.^[1] Cutting along the center line of the loop creates one longer band, not two. Cutting one third of the way in from the edge (and parallel to it) produces another amusing result.

The Möbius strip was discovered independently by the German mathematicians August Ferdinand Möbius and Johann Benedict Listing in 1858.^[2][3][4]

POST 477 THE WANDERER

Seasick Steve

The day was closing fast and it was a damp drizzle sweaty strange January late afternoon awkward climate of late, there seemed to be a lack of oxygen and it was neither cold nor warm.

I had come out of the supermarket after purchasing some veggies and had a cup of free tea because I had a store card; it was an Earl Grey without milk or sugar.  I sat down on a damp wooden backed type garden seat in the street and sipped my drink.

It is an area which is middle high class and most of the cars are expensive and the supermarket has very high standards of so called luxury foods and the clientèle matches that, I am often looked at with suspicion with my beard and woollen pull on hat and somewhat tatty ancient coat.  I go in there because I spend a little and one can get reasonably fresh and organic food. My purchase usually consists of half a dozen carrots, a bag of celery, a small cucumber, some raw beets, some avocado, broccoli, some small apples and banana. My salad I get from somewhere else and occasionally some organic eggs.

Anyway there was a woman who came up to me in the past and thought I was homeless and offered me some warm soup and I had a job to convince her I was not. Sometimes as I sit on this seat which is near the bus stop I get people shout at me, get a job, get a life, smarten up and so on.

I looked in a quiet way, no particular thought in mind this late afternoon and watched the rush hour start, lots of people coming out of some offices, shops and going to the car parks, buses getting full and generally the noise and confusion that can happen or seems to as people are eager to get home and do what they like doing other than work.

I then felt very open and pensive in a way, I felt strange, like when I came back from my wanderings in the wilds and travels in nature and less populated and so called civilised country.  The nights I spent just when the sun was setting in a large open space with a wooden gate stuck right in the middle of nowhere, there might have been a field there some day; I leaned on the gate which was about half a mile from the sea and some small cliffs and could pick out faintly the African coast.  The silence was profound and the soft lapping of the waves seemed far off. I went into a soft meditation and all was well.  The sun went down quickly and set and the view of the setting sun and the red hews as it set was my TV for I neither had electricity, radio, telephone or any gadgets and it was well before mobile / cell phones.

Then on some travels I walked down disused railway lines, with weeds and grass growing over the sleepers and rusty rails, looking back into a distant railways vista where the lines seemed to meet and converge and the same into a future that looked like the past.

I then felt what is the use of materialism and felt very basic and simple in my needs, and then when I had money and the cars I had and paraphernalia which took a lot of looking after and care and as I now sat watching the scurrying worrying looking people that seemed like ants wandering willy-nilly and did they realise that commodities, yea even our bodies are temporary, expedient transient, in fact does it matter to them or me, and should there be a them and me?

I felt naked and yet content and was content to let the world go by. I do not have family as I am odds with them, no one’s fault or blame, I am a square peg in a round hole and they are lovely, however we have no interface and its OK. Friends I have but a few, acquaintances many.

I had no one to care or love me and I do not love or care for anybody, and yet I have a great love and compassion for many, not in a binding way but a free happy easy come and easy go, yes I do get my ‘pants hitched up’ at times but the winds of wrath and malice quickly subside and blow out.

When I was a therapist at St. James Church Piccadilly in London UK I had many clients and witnessed many woes and worries, we were a voluntary healing clinic with doctors and therapists giving their service freely and without pay. There were tramps / hobos some who were PH.D’s, one or two who were wealthy business people who packed up and went off grid or homeless and found that materialism, university education, success in one case a well known celebrity left them cold and not satisfied, yet they survived in a kind of sad yet reasonable kind of ‘cold life’ and somewhat cynical, then there was the distinct experience of Forensics and its horror events and then the scientists who were frankly puzzled by the atom being so empty and so on, the psychiatrists who could not delve or solve some minds and the dilemma of just saying it is hormone or chemical imbalance and prescribing pills and realising they were stop gap only, I suggested there is a state of mind where there is a sort of emptiness but was cool and compassionate with inner peace which I experienced spasmodically, we agreed to disagree.  

Then there was a folk singer named Seasick Steve whose version of ‘Gentle on my Mind’ and the haunting lyrics of the hobo jumping trains living in junk yards and maybe looking for work or just exploring the countryside free of charge looking for the ‘place to be’ and find happiness or something, and the drug users running from or too something.

So I sat there on my seat and wondered what happens in peoples heads; did they question where life began and ends, were they running from the ‘grim reaper’, were we all running from death, were we all putting off by work, materialism, media, entertainment and burying our heads in the sand not wanting to face the inimitable-- –I may not be here as long as I think?

It was time to go home not because of any particular reason, the seat was damp, I felt whole and refreshed there was no one at home to greet me, I had long got over someone to care and look for me, not because of being afraid of relationships but because I have a kind of notion that Life gave me Life and so maybe I should trust Life and it is Life at home and away from home, so in a way I'm always at home. I ask myself where is there not Life?

SHACK

The Times.co.uk