SHACK 82 GREY DAYS

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Hoisted by their own petard

to be harmed by something that was intended by you to harm someone else 

                                  lain, overst sky delay

On overcast days especially nowadays with the healthy azure blue skies overlaid with criss cross streaks that spread out and pollute our God Given Right for a healthy environment and then the excuse it is climate change----pity they don't try it on the planets in our neighborhood the solar system where they seem to have it as well, not the streaks of course.

The azure blue I am led to believe is a healthy color, realizing that even without corrupted skies not every day would be clear skies. Be that as it may let us hope common sense will prevail and restoration will soon be upon us.

Another aspect of this is a grey day when one may feel down, low and a smidgen of depression, then the usual ' light and awareness of consciousness' which usually accompanies one when one has very sparse internal dialogue and mind chatter which when examined harbors a cheerful frame of mind.   

Should one wish to lighten the mood then there is a way, mind you many ways. A way that seems to work for me at times is to sit quietly and just watch in a lightly and relaxed way the thoughts about greyness that arise and let them pass, allow them free passage and as pressing as they maybe just set them free for freedom is cherished and appreciated by most.

It may become apparent that it is the reaction, perhaps anger and frustration that either one is reacting to the greyness of the psyche, or the environment or maybe there is a link betwixt them.

In either case examination as suggested may release the 'grasp' of the habit of reaction which is a habit from the the past---now is now and a new day.

On releasing the reaction which is usually a judgment an assessment of the situation one may find oneself in a quiet frame of mind which is bright and light, a kind of inner sunshine and all is well with the world and oneself----suffice it to say one is not ignorant of the climate or the world condition but one does not react to it with remonstrations.  This way the mind is free and can make decisions from the quietness of wisdom and not from the storehouse of past accumulated stored reactions which may have served them then but not now.

Be here now might be a motto.

SHACK

Even in summer there is an overlay as in the image above. Very few places are free of it.(SHACK)

                                            

SHACK 81 ONLY

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It was in a large well known Hall in London at the annual Judo championships in the days when there were no weight groups and before Olympian grappling called Judo, mind you I am behind the times they say, your old fashioned and perhaps their right.

Anyway I was a young lad, fit strong and keen.  There was a stage in the shape of a large square and raised so the spectators could see.

I sat behind five Japanese masters one of which was my Sensei. When I saw the man I was to contest I almost ran away.  He was 18 stone, red hair that hung down from his bald pate, his wrists were almost as thick as his massive forearms, and red hair matted his chest and large belly.  Fate had drawn me an awesome opponent.

The referee was a Japanese Sensei and a fourth Dan, and four judges sat one at each corner.

I said to Sensei ' how on Earth can I win this, he is not human'? Sensei said ' If you are afraid you have no energy' I interjected 'thats me' if you think hikiwake(a draw) it is a compromise, if you say ah well I will do my best it is half hearted, if you say I make a plan, it is in  the mind and remembering it you lose awareness' 'Oh so what can I do then' Sensei 'Cannot always, lose or draw or win, it is changeable so it is ONLY NECESSARY TO ENJOY'

This somehow helped me I somehow let go of a result, I went up when called and used a technique which is forbidden today---he came out pawing the tatami(mat) and raising arms high and coming towards me, me being lighter and faster I jumped at him and slid my hands both side of his neck (Judo jacket--Gi) and turned so that my back was on his belly and my hands were crossed and hung from him, choking him nay strangling him, immediately the Referee declared me the winner and untangled me from him when he fell to mat red faced and gasping for breath, this is indeed a death hold because you cannot release your own hands. 

Incidentally I won the contest in 18 seconds.  Maybe one should not be overconfident and underestimate one's challenge after all David beat Goliath.

This was when I was seventeen years of age just after that I had an accident on the soccer pitch and that put an end to my football career and started my electrician's apprenticeship leading to the early electronics of those days and University, forensics, research and degrees, workshops, healing psychotherapy, retirement and then freelance with large Institutions, Astronauts and bloging and Posts such as this------it is only necessary to enjoy----mostly letting go this happens.

SHACK

SHACK 80 WHAT'S THE MATTER?

Science

Nothing really matters in the long run and in the scheme of things.

What is the meaning of this?  Look into the Universe and some scientists tell you that some galaxies have dissolved and their light is still traveling to us and can be seen by telescopes and some still navigate by these apparent stars and galaxies and so suggesting Life is Temporary as long as it has, all matter is transitory and expedient , and our Milky Way has only four Billion years to live. 

On this note or theme we could postulate that Life is indeterminate and that matter is here today and gone tomorrow.  So what is matter?  A bundle of molecules and atoms mixed in a certain cocktail, a formula of creative intelligence, or an accident emanating from the Big Bang and per chance self formulating Itself without direction or intelligence----take your pick--- the intelligent gene one may say ---there is no place for God-----this is a personal decision.  


Be that as it may atoms one is told are 99.99 % empty, space yet there is activity in that space. Just what that activity is nebulous to say the least.

In the long run is it worth 'holding fast to matter' knowing it dissolves and fades with time as we know it.  In a way it is like holding onto ice and hoping it does not melt or slide and slip through the grasping hand.

Perhaps a more congenial way to regard matter is to enjoy it without hoarding it or being over possessive about it.  One has to face the awesome fact that our bodies are made from matter which fades after a while and try as we may until we are made bionic, we are transitory, expedient here today and gone some years later.

What's the matter----What is the matter ---does anything really matter----who matters most-----?

SHACK

SHACK 79 DRAINED

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At times when I was doing the Forensic work the sheer horror used to hit me. There was a bag which was in the laboratory and it was a demonstration to police officers yet it was a real exhibit taken from a rapist.  

When the bag arrived as an exhibit I unpacked it from the parcel sent to me from the main laboratory and as soon as I saw it I felt a draining and a sort of sticky energy, as like muddy water.  When I opened the bag there was the equipment he used on his victims.

I have sat next to people on the bus, airplane, car and train and even passing them on the street and felt this energy, I can see it in their auras as well and in my own.  

When I had my NDE at fours years of age I used to be telepathic to a large degree, mainly feeling however I did 'catch' words and I saw auras.  The telepathy is coming back, the feeling sense is always there, that is a sense of knowing, especially in my psychotherapy days.

I could feel the unease of many in a deep sense and if I ignored my deep feeling (some call it a gut sense) then some discord or problem may arise.

I found in meditation at a session that the meridians, the nadis or whatever not only transported ki, chi, life force for the body they distributed it to the organs which stored it as well as doing their physical job.  This was not so much fatigue or not feeling well, it was a sort of subtle 'one degree under'.  Some people talk about psychic vampires. I found there were physical, mental and psychological with life force and spiritual vampires, they suck the life out of you if one lets them.

One of the patients who came to see me was a dominatrix and also had an Internet 'dirty talk and pose business' she did well, she had a lovely house in the country, drove an expensive car and had a villa in Spain.  She felt after some years she had a kind of sack or basin that was full of as she put 'shit, excrement, filth' she could smell it and hear it talk back to her and vivid dreams of being pursued by it. 

We did imagery, drawing, Qi Gong and meditation.  She felt a stream of energy unblocking her 'plumbing', these were the tools I used in workshops and on myself.

When I felt clear as it were I could feel an energy 'underneath' my physical strength, it was subtle and hardly perceptible, to me it was like waterfall of soft energy and slight tingling and smile.

This feeling gently loosened up the mental / mind waste a sort of stale negative debris, detritus, stains and soiling allowing it to dissipate.  Not a flushing or extreme detox but a soothing  almost caressing it away, a detox of soft loving energy, a sigh of release and a feeling of  it is very, very well indeed. 

SHACK

SHACK 78 WHEN

<‡‡‡>

WHEN IS ENOUGH, ENOUGH?

HOW LONG IS A PIECE OF STRING?

TELL ME!!!

WHEN YOU FEEL IT.

SHACK

SHACK 77 NOW AND ZEN

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Those that have it can play with it. 

If you know what it is one is in illusion but there again It prevails.

What is there to say now or is?

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Where's  ---  SHACK ?

SHACK 76 DENTIST

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I used to teach Judo at the Royal Dental Hospital in Leicester Square(it has relocated now).  Parking was one of the problems, so I used to park my car in a small square in Soho and walk through the streets to the hospital about a ten minute walk.  

On the way I used to get touted by prostitutes and over the three years instructing at hospital in the evenings once weekly I got to know some of them, I did not have sex with them, I would not be ashamed to admit if I had.

Anyway there was a cafe right near where I parked the car and one night about 22.00 as I walked through Soho to the car, the skies opened and I got soaked, really soaked, I went into the cafe like a 'drowned rat' and sat down steaming from my clothes and skin, I ordered a hot drink and said to the waitress 'what a shocking night', she replied 'its just another kind of weather', I looked up into a beautiful native American young women and her eyes were amazing, clear bright and serious without censure.

She taught me another lesson about letting go. I cannot control the weather and yet I wanted too.  Have a sunny warm balmy evening, so the weather can be our teachers(of course now a days they mess about with chemtrails and the like). 

Native peoples who live with the land and respect it of course have to live with the climate and they have a different attitude than City folk.  That lesson stayed with for a long while and then faded when work situations needed conditions for it and with workshops flight delay and train stoppages because of weather conditions were a reminder of the somewhat artificial view I had began to cultivate about the weather.

I can see how the big corporations want to control the weather and manipulate it for commercial reasons and profit.  Now I am at home in so called retirement I go out in all weathers because they are 'just another kind of weather'

SHACK 

SHACK 75 NO HEAD?

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Years back I used to go to a bookshop named Watkins in Cecil Court near Leicester Square tube Station in Central London, it is a 'spiritual bookshop' selling books from Theosophy to horoscopes, from Buddhism to Tarot cards and so on, it's still there to today 2017.  By the way the late John Watkins founded it in 1898, its probably the oldest esoteric bookshop of its kind.

I used to go there for my incense(I don't know if they sell it now) it was a brand the late J Krishnamurti used. 

This particular day I was speaking to Geoffrey (now gone to peace) and the shelf where he kept it was about three feet from where I stood at the counter and about two feet high  its all changed now).  We were talking about emptiness, expediency and being somewhat without thought. I reached up to feel for the incense and there was one packet left, they were very expensive and rare of this particular type, he used to put one away for me.  I said 'you have only one packet here and I have got it'  He said 'are you sure'?. I put my hand to the back of the shelf and found a thin oldish looking book.  He said ' Good Lord what's that I never had seen that before'   I looked at the title and it was ' On having No head'  I opened it up and there were only blank pages, and it was written, of course only the title by Roy Morris, he was my buddy at the Zendo.

How fortuitous we were speaking about this very subject and our experiences of this depersonalize- ation, being identity-less and yet being intelligent, aware, bright functioning beings.  Its as if one lives from a different strata of one's being or mind and consciousness beyond that of thought, nay, actually where thought arises from, one sort of 'catches' it before it goes through the net of conditioning and logic, intellect and modification, it is like original thought.

To me now it seems like I am at the bottom of the lift shaft where the matrix of thought is and as it matures it goes up the lift shaft or carried by the lift to its appropriate 'floor' where it is needed. It comes from the unknown by some superior intelligence of an unknown source and origin and manifests itself through the space of no mind.

SHACK

as above in caption

SHACK 74 HERE AND THERE REVISITED

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My dearest Brother was ten years older than me.  We had a little van which I had an accident in and we were earning good money and it was always a little awkward to share the vehicle every other weekend.

So we sold the van and bought a lovely little car a Triumph Herald after a while the same awkwardness arose, so we bought another car, a real snorter, a Triumph Vitesse, a twin carb, six cylinder job,  the real business, we swapped cars weekly so we had a car for the whole week and weekend.

When we came to sign the insurance for for the Vitesse I had this disorientation come over me.  I don't know if you had the experience that when you look in the mirror and wonder who you really are, where did you come from and where are you going to and so on, well after the Have a Cup of Tea and other experiences shared in SHACK mine was as though I was depersonalized, as if I had no identity that was solid, it floated as it were, I felt fear and all the emotions yet they did not touch me as deeply as I thought they would, even though I still have mild panic attacks what is apparent they are not happening to the real me and yet they are. It brings a strange peace, and now that I have given up work for some fifteen years in retirement and only did some research voluntary for some big institutions as an associate there is less of a me as a personality and more of !!!!//? and its fine. 

So the insurance form said name---I stared at it-----how could I name a bunch of atoms and an image in the mirror that changes over the years?  I felt identity-less, I nearly put unknown part of the Cosmos.

Address------nowhere fixed --- a space inhabitant---The Universe

Age---Eternal Being

My brother said, here we go again, come on Yossel he sometimes used a Yiddish colloquialism to gee me up.  This would be around 1964-5 I feel. I awoke from the reverie and signed the form as appropriately as was meant to be.

I did go to my psychotherapist mentor and obviously had analysis in order to become a psychotherapist and he was a psychiatrist, a Buddhist, a healer and did meditation and spent time in a Zendo in Tokyo.  He  assured me as long as I was aware of this process all would be well if I lost presence or awareness and just went into a mindless floating piece of space junk(my words now) I would lose the essence of my being now I do not have the distraction of financial debt(although I am out of debt I still have to pay for a financial deal that almost made me bankrupt and homeless, I still have to pay back a special loan and if still earthbound will be free of it in five to seven years).

So where am I now---no idea----do I know who I am----don't know--am I concerned over memory---no because I know when I need to know I will Know. 

SHACK   

SHACK 73 AND MORE HERE AND HERE

life made to order

Going back to the 'have a cup of tea' in Shack 69 Koan as I said a period of distinct disorientation followed, a real shift had taken place.

One of these stands out; I seemed to have lost the bit in the mind where I know that I know, a sort of confidence in my education and the ability to do my job. I was faced one of these days with a set of formulae I needed to revise for my job. I was terrified that this experience had given me amnesia. 

I confided this to my mother and she had a wisdom which was priceless.  She said 'Do what your teacher said, go and look at your navel or whatever your teacher said'.

I went and sat by the side of the bed, I could not sit crossed legged or my on knees because a football accident prohibited that.  I started to watch my thoughts without judgement, concentrating on the breath as well, soon all fears and thoughts went away and I was left in a deep peace and quiet. Slowly and yet profoundly I felt these words, its a strange communication, I do not hear them, they are a sort of deep resonant whisper and these were they; 'I know that I don't know but when I need to know, I will know'.

The next day I went to work and sat at my workplace and sat quietly and things appeared to me and I knew, it was as if I  was thinking without thought--- more explanation is for me impossible.

So trust in the unknown seemed to be the answer.  Years went on, financial difficulties, pressure at work doing workshops, clinics and a full time job, serious health issues took its toll and many of the trust stuff went into a dormant state, they came back in times of need.

SHACK

SHACK 72 SOME MORE OF HERE AND THERE

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During the days of flower power and the psychedelics joined by hippies, there was a cafe in Soho where all the flower power and so on gathered.

A few miles away Judoka trained all through the night in a cold dojo during winter and took cold showers afterwards, if you did well and stuck it out for seven weeks, I think they called kangusaki, you got a certificate which helped towards your next grading and belt.

In the basement where we trained in London(not the one at the friends house) the steam from our sweating bodies came though the grills that ventilated the dojo.

Afterwards we showered in freezing cold water, we donned tracksuits and jogged to the cafe.

There were the psychedelic's, flower persons, hippies and so on, drop outs, drop ins and us Zen and Judo nuts.

Many of the Psychedelics were rather thin and pale we were muscular and rather intimidating, we never threatened or mocked them and we would talk Buddhist tenets and find common ground, several of our Judo mob dated the rather amorous hippie ladies, I had a lovely friend, we were not intimate, and she called herself ' ' Goodie two Shoes'  ( Goody Two-Shoes is a variation of the Cinderella story. The fable tells of Goody Two-Shoes, the nickname of a poor orphan girl named Margery Meanwell, who goes through life with only one shoe. When a rich gentleman gives her a complete pair, she is so happy that she tells everyone she has "two shoes". Later, Margery becomes a teacher and marries a rich widower. This earning of wealth serves as proof that her virtuousness has been rewarded, a popular theme in children's literature of the era.[(courtesy Wikipedia) 

She had a University degree in psychology and we had lots of chats over steaming soup which we needed after the workouts, she later went to India and became a Buddhist Nun.

The wonderful contrasts between the two sets of peoples and their cultures, we were all very fond of one another and we looked to meet them after training and they welcomed  us, lovely gentle folk.

 SHACK

SHACK 71 HERE AND THERE ONCE MORE

like success

(so you might as well meditate --self inquiry---Shack)

I had a cousin who was physicist and when we talked about meditation years later and a photo of him is in two things I write about elsewhere, his explanation of Atoms was given to me by Sensei many years before.

Near the dojo was a canal and wood yards where they would load wood onto the barges.  One day I found a piece of Oak that was about four feet long and two inches thick I don't think a steam hammer would break it. We were always teasing Sensei mildly and he took it with great humor.  

As Sensei came in we all gathered around him, and we were much taller than him, I said ' Sensei do you think you could break this piece of wood' There was a silence that was shattering, after about ten minutes he said 'bring two chairs', I went cold, we brought two chairs and he laid the wood across the uprights of both.

What seemed like a long time he stroked the piece of wood and it split.

Some of us just stood in deep shock, others ran out, I went to pee several times.  It really was a strong hard piece of wood. How did you do that we all cried.  He said he would tell us after a while. For me he said you will find out in about three weeks.  Sensei said 'its all about bits'.

In a science lesson the teacher was explaining that molecules were composed of atoms and they had found bits which they called particles. My hair felt as if was standing up.  The teacher said to me your cousin knows about this and helped in some experiments.

That happened three weeks after Sensei said.  I shared this with the Judo ka that evening what Sensei had said to me and when he came in and we greeted him I told him of my experience. Then Sensei said 'When you go into muga mushin, deep meditation, you go down and down into your mind and you see the little things like ping pong balls and then split into bits, then I put my hand through the bits, easy no?  'You see nothing is solid it only appears so, its all in the mind'

Sensei was the head of a large Zendo near Kyoto. During the second world war when an atomic bomb was detonated over Nagasaki and Hiroshima, I was told by one of his sons, I am not sure whether it was the Nagasaki or Hiroshima catastrophe that Sensei and six other monks walked barefoot through the ruins which were still simmering in some places, and the Americans and British scientists dressed in radiation suits were amazed and said 'How is it you are not irradiated ' 'Sensei was the only one who spoke English  and said ' The Universe is made of atoms so are we, sayanora '.  They monitored the seven for more than five years and they were fine, Sensei lived in good health and went into nirvana at the age 103 years of age.

SHACK

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THE ABOVE FOUR WOULD I FEEL HAVE SENSEI CHUCKLING

SHACK 70 HERE AND THERE AGAIN

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Following on from 'have a cup of tea' I decided to test my new found perception. 

I approached Sensei and said 'please may I learn Kendo'  'why so said Sensei' ' I heard that is the most dangerous because a samurai sword can cut a person in two, so I want to test my fear and muga mushin (awareness and stillness, mind permeating body). 'hmm I do not feel you are ready'  I pleaded with him several times.

Suddenly-- wham --- he hit me hard on the top of the head, the shock was so great, he had never hit me or anyway hurt me, he was tough but fair.  He growled and made a terrible face, I ran out of the Zen-do.  It was winter and got dark early, a quick cut home was across a cemetery, I would not do that in the dark, I did however.

When I got home my beautiful late Jewish Mother said 'Oh my God what's that bump on your head 'I said I asked Sensei to teach me Kendo, Japanese sword fighting'  She said ' why don't you learn a trade, make money, marry a Jewish girl, have a family, be somebody'  I just went to bed.

What happened next took place over the following three weeks; as I came out of my house to go to school Sensei jumped at me, he caught me like this coming from the Dojo, from football training, nearly everywhere, he was stalking me like a Ninja. I even locked my bedroom door put string to the handle with some cans on so if he came in the cans would rattle.  I was so wound up that my Mother said she would ask him to stop and I said it will be over soon its part of the training, so I thought.

Then one day as I was walking down a hill by the side of a park, I felt like a presence, a strong feeling of being followed, I turned round quickly and there he was coming towards  me in a Ninja stance. I said in a very rude way 'Oh no you don't you so and so(impolite words).  He said 'Good you to feel me, you sensed without hearing, seeing, touching and now you see a Katana (Samurai sword) comes so fast as by a master or advanced student, you could not see it only feel it'

After that I developed a sharp sense and I was difficult to be thrown or be frightened'.

Unfortunately Sensei went back home and when I said I wanted to follow him he said 'Your destiny is here, you can teach now if you come to my country I will cut your head off' Just before he left I had a serious accident, he said if you want to walk again you must use 'Yamatadoshi' I think it means Ki(Chi), sometimes translated as original Samurai Ki energy or spirit.  I did and I recovered.

I was walking up a slight hill to the High Road and my Judo gi (Judo kit) in a towel and it was like a bundle, and was coming back from judo training, several of the lads and I were already doing Judo with a school master and Black belt Frank W Nash from the Budokwai(large Judo club in Victoria, later moved to South Kensington) and I was alone, when a voice with Japanese accent said 'you do Judo' I turned round as the voice went right through me so to speak and I was looking an old man.  He asked where I trained and I told him, in a friends basement.  He turned  up a few says late, he wore a red / pink belt and we thought a beginner.  Try as we may we could not move or throw him, once he said to me and at other times when he easily threw me ' Oh the tatami must slippery, who put the banana peel there' and would go into fits of real belly laughter.

He took over from Mr Nash who recognized who he was.  When Sensei visited the Budokwai one day(the only time)the high grade Japanese master there fell(the late Gunji Koizumi) to his knees and said Sensei and something in Japanese I never went to the Budokwai again.

SHACK

 

SHACK 69 HERE AND THERE

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I was given a koan by Sensei just as I was throwing a Judoka in a shoulder throw, it caught me off guard and I dumped my partner unceremoniously on the tatami, he complained but was OK. I could not remember what the koan was, on returning home it came to me.  Traditionally I will not share the koan. I broke the tradition in energygrid and geofffreed online and the full story and that will suffice))

On contemplating it and going to Sensei who said, intellectual explanation, no your using logic and so on.  The frustration grew.

The pressure was mounting as I stepped out of the bedroom to go to the bathroom, not thinking about anything, it happened, I knew, what it was I knew, yet I have no idea, it was a knowing beyond understanding.

I rushed to the door, my dear late mother said where are you going? I said to Sensei, she said you have a pajama top, jeans and slippers, you can't go out like that?

I did go out by bus and tube, people staring at me with my strange attire. I reached Sensei's house and knocked at the door, his daughter (before he became a monk he married and had children he still looked after them the best he could but did not fulfill his marital obligations and status) came to the door and said 'you should only visit Sensei by invitation' 'Sensei said let him in it's alright' 'I was flustered and babbled Sensei I know, I know' 'He said sit down and have a cup of tea, now you will never see the world like others and your troubles will now begin'

I went home with a pair of zori for my feet and ill fitting borrowed coat. I was bewildered and when it settled down he was right something had fundamentally shifted in my perception and I could not understand or care too anyway.

SHACK

SHACK 68 THE LECTURE

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The students filed into the lecture theater and I was presenting a lecture on alternative energy source and communities that were experimenting and using them, these were the early days in this subject.

The theater was three quarters filled and as I got going, by the way I had two tea breaks of 20 minutes after an 1hr and half lecture, with a 1 hrs lunch break and afternoon as in morning.

There were many crossed arms and feet showing an uncomfortable reception and sniggers and at odd times a shout by an older voice of rubbish which set off laughter, mainly like guffaws.    

As we came to first tea break and biscuit binge, this old voice 'stop all of you' and old craggy man who was an emeritus professor, 'He said can you really prove any of this?  'I said well not four miles away there is such an experiment, I am willing to pay a taxi fare for two students and you to visit it, and if it not as to what I have said I will waive my lecture fee, and I suggest we  have an extended tea break and reassemble when you arrive back'.

After we had reassembled the professor came towards me waving his walking cane, I thought he was going to hit me with it.  The lecture theater was now only quarter filled. ' He came to me and put his hand on my shoulder and said ' I apologize for being so rude and shouting I have been and seen these things and they do work and well. However you are a man before your time, big industry and wealthy business men will not let it happen, listen to this man and take note. As for me I am steeped in my ways and cannot change although I have seen it with my own eyes, you see what will happen if I take this up it will pull the rug from beneath my feet and send my world crashing, good luck and be careful for you might regret this as they might come after you, I know because I had these ideas and was forced into submission and joined the club, I made a compromise between ambition and a safe life, good day to you sir'

I stood there in silence, I merely then just answered questions. The Chancellor of the University had heard about this and came to apologize, I had finished the lecture an hour before time. The Chancellor said he would pay me the full fee and expenses.

I pondered on the whole incident on the way back whilst sitting in a first class seat on the train.  Enjoying the hospitality of the first class seating, quietness and refinery, I felt safe and comfortable and could feel what it would be like to have to sit on the roof of the train or board a train such as seen in India where everybody piles in, roof, back front, and so on.  

Perhaps the world and myself are not used to such radical change.

SHACK

SHACK 67 LONELY

crazy but wise

On my many travels in my electrical career I was part of a team.  The team comprised of two electricians and two apprentices of which I was one.

The electricians were married and were promiscuous which upset me because I knew their wives and had to be silent about their nefarious affairs. This really did hurt me to the core and suppressing  it  had a price to pay---anger and frustration.

The two sparks and one apprentice used to go to the local dance hall and I sort out Judo, Kendo, Taichi and Meditation groups and various keep fit activities. We all met later in the digs (ours were bed and breakfasts of the cheaper kind and sparks are the name for electricians). They boasted of their sexual encounters.  They thought me weird and that did cause a kind of benign rift.

Often when I came out from my activity, most of the time in Northern Britain in fairly run down areas, I would visit the local smokey joe (workingman's cafe) some were open until about 22.00 hrs and I noticed many an elderly cloth hat and black coated gentleman sitting there and had been for hours, sipping and making last his cup of tea.

He (they) seemed to have a vacant stare which seemed to suggest loneliness, depression and boredom. I asked several cafe owners, many gruff and unshaven, smoking roll ups and coughing often, 'do they (he) come in often? 'Some come in all day and just have a pie and many teas'.  He went onto say that they are 'unemployed and live in one room(in those days TV's were coming in and expensive) some had an old radio, many were single or widowers and their families poor and gone to search for work elsewhere.

I tried to engage the man in conversation, he told me to fuck off and leave him alone.  Talking to a local police officer and part time counseling in his spare time, he told me of the loneliness, some were minors and the mines had closed down, some were ex army and and became alcoholic from the ravages of war, he said loneliness was there main problem, they didn't have the social skills to join a club for veterans and felt bitter that God and the country neglected them. So they sat and stared vacantly over strong tea and watched the world go by, aimlessly by.

I felt a touch of that when I could not find an activity, the digs had no facilities like a lounge, so I used to walk to explore the shoddy unkempt neighborhood, avoiding the pubs and sometimes going into the cafe for the 'cuppa that cheers' I could relate to the man in the cloth hat, no tie and stud shirt, for I was away from home, had nothing in common with my workmates and only meditation saved me from the abyss of loneliness.

I often wondered if they looked within and not to the passing scenario outside which was often dark and raining, cold and damp with very little heating in their room sometimes in a sterile hostel, where the wall paper was peeling off and the dampness made patches on the wall in a tapestry of despair and the worn dirty carpet a mosaic of misery, if the meditation would lift their spirits because they would co join with spirit and they would realize this is a temporary existence and letting go of the despair would and could open a space for something much more wholesome to enter. 

SHACK  

SHACK 66 ASHAMED

crafttubs

Arriving at the airport at about 21.30 the flight scheduled for 23.00 I saw a few shops open, it was a small airport by comparison to some.

I was the only passenger in the place and there was man cleaning the floor.  I went into a shop selling native crafts.  The beautiful young girl assistant was very distant and almost aggressive. I bought a dream catcher and a medicine pipe.  She wrapped it and almost threw it at me, I put the change and a donation in the box to help the indigenous people in that region.

I went up to the man who was cleaning, he was indigenous and said had I offended the young lady and told him of my experience.  He said in a kindly way, that she was young and did not like people who took their land and exploited them and bought souvenirs which were replicas of sacred ritualistic cultural objects.   

I said should I return them and not ask for a refund and that I had no idea I had offended her and her peoples.  He said no she will probably get angry just leave it and go.  

On the six hour flight returning home I felt terrible and guilty as to the exploitation, the killing of animals for their fur not for food, the shame I felt for my race and I still feel ashamed, however I got a great compassion and try to see where it comes from and cultivate it.

Indeed the greed and avarice of those early conquerors reminds me of the conversation between a general and a chief. 'We want your land'  ' We cannot give you the land'  'Then we will take it by force'  ' No you do not understand, the land belongs to the Great Spirit, we can give you the things that grow and that ' 'We will take it, you had better leave or else'

We still do this, all that is here in our lifetimes is on loan, we possess not a thing, not even our bodies, for everything is transient, expedient, here today and gone tomorrow.  Make sure to be grateful and share whatever you can, because you never know when the tap on the left shoulder beckons one to leave, and it comes suddenly.

SHACK

crafttubs

SHACK 65 THE FIND

news.okezone.com

The two boys were friends and went to the same school. One was the son of the Chief the other the son of an air force Captain.

There was an unfortunate crash in the high mountains of an air force plane.  Search parties reported after a long while they had found the bodies. There was a military funeral.

The boys were out hunting and fishing and were in their summer vacation and so tented out. They came across the crashed craft and bodies.  They reported it to the Captain and who  went to the air force and said what was found. They exhumed the coffins and found they were filled with rocks.

It was suppressed from the media and the captain was dismissed in a fake court martial and both the Chief and Captain's family were threatened.

The captain was broke, no house no money, no pension.  The Chief invited the family of the captain to live in the community and work there as member.

The Chief saw the captain was a great photographer and offered a loan to set him up in a business.  The business thrived and after a few years the captain went to the chief and offered to pay back the loan.  The chief said no, in our tradition we do not take loans back if we can afford them, or interest on the loans, one day it comes back to us in some way, however you must solemnly promise if someone comes to you in trouble and you help them financially you will do the same as I did for you.  The Captain promised.

The Captain was the photographer that did all the shots at my presentations and TV appearances and videos with audio on Radio.

SHACK  

SHACK 64 FARMERS

www.koprugroup.com.tr

These two farms were many miles apart and they communicated by short wave radio.  Once a year they swapped equipment.  They hauled the machinery by large lorries and that was the only time they met face to face.

One of the farmers sold up and did not tell the other farmer, so when the new farmer came he had no equipment which he had previously seen on a visit from a another country and decided to farm in another farm of his choice.

The farmer called the police and said his equipment had been stolen.  The police new the situation and contacted the other farmer who explained he had come for the equipment and did not see anybody and thought is it was OK to take it as per arrangement.

The new farmer said it was OK and he would honor that and was amazed he had not been told he was leaving or explained the arrangement to the new farmer.

The police laconically replied  'that's the way of it around here, people live so isolated that many just leave, sometimes not taking anything with them'.

This would be a nice way to leave when our time is up for living on Earth, no karma, no return----that's for me

SHACK