I was given a koan by Sensei just as I was throwing a Judoka in a shoulder throw, it caught me off guard and I dumped my partner unceremoniously on the tatami, he complained but was OK. I could not remember what the koan was, on returning home it came to me. Traditionally I will not share the koan. I broke the tradition in energygrid and geofffreed online and the full story and that will suffice))
On contemplating it and going to Sensei who said, intellectual explanation, no your using logic and so on. The frustration grew.
The pressure was mounting as I stepped out of the bedroom to go to the bathroom, not thinking about anything, it happened, I knew, what it was I knew, yet I have no idea, it was a knowing beyond understanding.
I rushed to the door, my dear late mother said where are you going? I said to Sensei, she said you have a pajama top, jeans and slippers, you can't go out like that?
I did go out by bus and tube, people staring at me with my strange attire. I reached Sensei's house and knocked at the door, his daughter (before he became a monk he married and had children he still looked after them the best he could but did not fulfill his marital obligations and status) came to the door and said 'you should only visit Sensei by invitation' 'Sensei said let him in it's alright' 'I was flustered and babbled Sensei I know, I know' 'He said sit down and have a cup of tea, now you will never see the world like others and your troubles will now begin'
I went home with a pair of zori for my feet and ill fitting borrowed coat. I was bewildered and when it settled down he was right something had fundamentally shifted in my perception and I could not understand or care too anyway.
SHACK
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