Courtesy Alamy.com
Its
seems a paradox ‘I’m caged by my own concepts and beliefs’ and yet on deep none
biased observation many facets arrive and to be contemplated.
The
cage or ego seems to be comprised of soft ware programmes culled from life’s
experiences and what prompted this was as follow; on waking there is still a
reluctance to arise and face the world, it is not always present every morning,
it is as if I am fearful of what the day may bring and the world is a
frightening, wicked and perverted place and people are out to get me and I am
too cowardly or meek to prevent this or fight back. Trapped by one's own mind. Imprisoned by taught beliefs.
So
my software program is that I am unable to cope with this frightening hologram
of a terrifying, knife attacking, sinister political and mercenary world and a
sort of envy I cannot join the club. Yet
the classic syndrome of projecting or projection is so very evident here. I am
a loving kind gentle person and meek and mild maybe, yet the fear is that my
own programmes are not seen as mine because I do not own them, I project them away
as blame, they out there are the cause of my problems, where is God to punish
these wicked traitors. Yet when I see and feel these programmes of projection,
like a movie screen, the screen showing the world map, I fill in the dots and
dashes and colour paint it as if it were a book of silhouettes to crayon in and
those colourings are my fears, choices and predilections.
So
if I had a loving set of software programmes, oh yes I could imagine and set
those up however would they be just a smoke screen cover, a mere smearing and
not really felt in earnest at the inner peace level, a lollipop and cookie to
placate the anguish and anxiety and merely a carpet to cover the bare boards.
Frightening
to realise that the hostile world is a projection of my own fears and
weaknesses that I do not want to face and why do I not want to face them. They hurt the collective ego software package
and remind it is merely a conditioned fake false set of concepts and it is
frail and can be exchanged, modified and dumped for another software package,
like computer games once the novelty has worn off or out.
Then
the software packages which I name the ego as its collective identity and
persona realises its vulnerability and shores it up by the anxiety of its
frailty to ‘not own’ and give away by blame, projection and abdicating the
responsibility and therefore giving away power of choice to the projected image
of its own creation. I see a hostile
world which makes me anxious and depressed and yet that projection came from my
own minds software conditioning and brain washing. I have successfully conned
myself by my own hand and beliefs that is real and so not only anxiety but a
weak lack of confidence persona of which is not real, fake and lacking
authenticity which like certificates and degrees falsely shore up the ego’s
real feelings of only being a floating set of ideas lumped together and
corralled and caged by the super glue of fear, the real controller and task
master of the software programmes in the box set and guarded fiercely to not allow
radical shifts and changes.
There
is a hostile and wicked world and atrocities and so on, however I am reminded
these are projections from the populace and engineered by psychologists in tow
by political agendas which included; horrific labels on illnesses by the
medical fraternity as in contrast to the Eastern approach of an energy
imbalance and when a medical diagnosis is pronounced, sometime the diagnosis
kills not the illness, through energy of fear engendered by the diagnosis. This again is in
the software programming; after all the doctors’ know. The doctor’s are well
meaning and the power of authority is rewarding financially and ego wise. This
goes for uniforms, flags, politics and religion with the fear of God’s
punishment and burning in hell for the miserable sinner.
Yet
behind all the above there is the clear mind, a mind of genuine inner peace
that is overlaid, clouded like chemtrails that blot out the loveliness of blue
skies and unadulterated unfiltered sunshine.
There is that glow, that inner shine which absolves and dissolves the
anxiety and why is it that I cannot feel this always or at least a percentage
more in my dreams and waking life as it were which I call the longer
established habitual dream of living on Earth and the flesh body experience?
Even
in my sleep no matter how deep its like a programme softly almost imperceptibly
running in the background like soft music whilst reading or on the computer or
daily chores, this is the ‘dark shadow of foreboding calamities that are
waiting to get me’ this then comes more
to the fore of my consciousness my so called awake mind and gives it more
authority such as body aches, stiffness, old age, creakiness, got to do my
chores, my diet, my commitments and if not—woe betide you, you transgressor,
sinner you have sinned against the God in heaven, nay the God of Ego. So I look for someone to blame or project
on---I’m getting old, this is natural, I’m breaking spiritual laws by not doing
prayers going to synagogue, my family do not love for me I have to conform to
their wishes, I am treacherous to my own beliefs, I will be punished by having
the fear of Cancer the Family Curse brought down by God for not going to
Synagogue, eating kosher or by missing juicing, eating bread and meat and
pizzas at times, oh the DO NOT’S that are self imposed and believed by habit,
brain washing and world experts opinions, fucking hell what a shitty mess.
And
yet there is a kind of light shinning though barely visible. It is the fun of
freedom, running naked on the beach and plunging into the warm sea, the joy so
profound it does not care about other people’s perceptions and the need for
their approval, YET it cares for others and nature not by critical interference
but by sharing the joy and lifting the burdens by joy and peace from myself and
perhaps others catching the feel and essence of it.
True
identity is with the peace and joy and not the software packages of brainwashed
and others agendas.
SHACK
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| Courtesy ALAMY.COM |
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| Courtesy ART LOGIC |
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