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| Meme |
These items of mind and
materialism were my reality and identity in which I had to defend, attack or to
preserve them and nearly always to be right. Then just by simple logic I realised
everything moulds, dies, gets rusty, gets obsolete, out of fashion and most of
all, I will die or rather my body will die.
Then the realisation came
if everything perishes and dies it is impermanence and so to believe these items,
the commodities, this make believe mind clutter, the voices in the head and
the fantasies and ambitions, the desires, the chase the thirst for capitalism
to quench my thirst to add more of these impermanent commodities and hoard them
become an hoarder and accumulate and so be in denial that I felt secure,
protected by the wall and structures of these material possessions and even
wealth and money, I felt worth through them as long as they afforded me an
identity such as wealthy, in the fashion, knowledgeable, a PH.D, a footballer,
in short successful and so on and if I didn’t have these and then begin to fantasise, day
dream, desire it and get a second hand emotional high and buzz in an internal
mind construct of it which can lead to introversion, denial, cut off from
society, not to say I would not mix with people but felt separate and in some
way even with low self esteem and confidence would not matter because in my
make believe internal mind I was there with the best of them.
Not making excuses but as
every age has its fashion, its updates and upgrades, its reconfiguration and as said above it is impermanent, then everything that is considered material and
has so called and claimed or perceived solid is in a way a mind construct
however in this case agreed in various themes as actual, real and solid reality
by most of humanity.
So everything is on loan,
hired, mortgaged, temporary, transient, impermanent, here today and gone
tomorrow, the changing clouds, the weather and the mysteries so often ignored and
the fear of being naked and having very
little to surround oneself with material possessions in order to have a tangible feel, touchable, solid to
know I feel and see these things, therefore I exist, this is my reality, then
if they are sparse, I have my inside world in my mind and then one day wake up
and realise; what is the difference with mind possessions and material
possessions? Are they not both false realities in the sense they are but
temporary and do not afford security and peace simply because they rust and
decay and when they do I seek new ones to replace them and I realise like the
cars I had there were warranties, guarantees, insurances and breakdown covers
and yet at the end of the day they eventually die and cannot be repaired or
maintained as spare parts were obsolete as new and improved models came in and
in these days hybrids and electric ones.
Well then if everything
including the Universe and the old story of the emptiness of the atom and so on
what is the use of clinging to anything that decays and in the case of senility
and Alzheimer’s not even the fantasies or mind stuff is there and some nebulous
ramblings are there and to the loved ones who visit there is no recognition and
sometimes aggression. Who am I when I consider the frail nature of mind
constructs as above and when they fade or change what I am, do I exist without
the reality of materialism and an inner mind world of fantasy and dreams which
can make me paranoid, schizophrenic, and have dual personalities?
Is there a life where
impermanence and transience, ephemeral, dying and decay and really as empty as
the proverbial atom, which epitomises arising interacting, moving,
relationships, short term and always in the process of movement and coming and
going?
Yes, when the mind becomes
quiet and still and the whole machinations and cacophony becomes quiet and
there is rest and in this I may realise it only thought ‘mind stuff’ that
brings the materialistic world into place and logic and intellect are its tools
in order to preserve and uphold this large construct and structure.
To the mind it may be
inconceivable that the absence of thought or very little without being an
imbecile is frightening, after all I was taught and have heard on numerous
occasions, think man, think and I have become so glued, in fact super glued,
and have it that it has been so drummed into me that is real, reality, the world, we all
do it and subscribe to it, why are you weird and the odd person out and I ask
myself that and why am I a nonconformist and in a way a rebel and then I
question myself, do I really need the fantasies, the internal dialogue and is
this not compensation for so called failure in the outside world?
The nature of the egoist
mind is to search, accumulate chase after all things of its predilection, to
satisfy its lusts and desires and is never satisfied with enough. So it is
always in the state and mode of self perpetuation. In fact the Universe is
always recycling and reinventing itself a sort Cosmic Reincarnation, a
regeneration and rejuvenation. This is the dream of Eternal Life and once and
for all shed the burgeoning fear of mortality.
So at this time in history
there is research in stem cells, growing organs and limbs, replacing parts by
metal and cyber parts such as in transhumanism, man and robots, cyborgs,
eugenics and so on. As attractive as some find it the mind unless it accepts
that all such things are replaceable and there will always be ‘spare parts’
never the less one will have to keep up ‘appearances’ and rely on a technological,
computerised robotic-ally orientated world.
Coming to the realisation
of the above paragraphs it is dawning on me, slowly being turned on the spit,
slowly roasted, toasted and barbecue- wed that these thoughts and fantasies and
mind constructs as real as they seem are in fact the real world of mind stuff and
that the so called ’outside world’ is not outside or inside it is merely mind
projection, it is thought projecting itself in space as a holographic 3 / 4
dimensional hologram in the space of mind, that space that the Universe appears
in as my thoughts do and then the terrible, awesome, mind freezing and
liberating freeing thunder clap and lightening bolt comes to mind; what I
thought and felt was a solid out there a tangible world and Universe is merely so
ingrained and impacted, squeezed and pressed down by rhythmic repetitive
entrainment that I have been brain washed, conditioned, programmed and so steeped
and buried so deep in the very large bowels of the energy field of the
collective human consciousness so that that what I believed is real and solid is
an illusion, a deceptive mind construct and a reality that does not exist only
as a brain washed deceptive illusion in which billions of minds over the
billions of years have taken as reality.
SHACK
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